Cute

Life is all about being cute. Take, for example, my nephew Peanut. Adorable, right? People look at Peanut, their mouths automatically fall open and 'Awwwwwwwww' comes out. Of course he plays it to the hilt. What can I say? It works.

Being cute can get you a lot of things in this life. For instance, Peanuts. Animal cookies. Grain. Hay. More Peanuts. Attention. More Peanuts. Petting. More Peanuts. Oy. Why couldn't I have been born cute instead of just plain lovely and wise? Let's face it, cute is where it's at.

I can think of a lot of advantages to being cute. For example, you could become a Japanese toy icon like 'Hello, Goaty'. Your face could be passed all over the Internet accompanying inspirational thoughts. You could become the official spokesperson for Peanut Eaters Anonymous. You could be invited to appear in television commercials as living testimony to the awesome nutritional qualities to be found in animal cookies. The possibilities are endless.

On the other hand, there is a down side. If you are cute, there is always someone trying to be just a little bit cuter.

As a philosopher, I can only maintain that cuteness, as beauty, is simply a matter of degree. Everyone is cute. And as a goat, I can only subscribe to the theory set forth by Miss Piggy who said, "Beauty (or in this case cuteness) is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."