"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The New Year's Baby

According to Wikipedia, the New Year's Baby is 'an American personification of the start of a new year'. Okay, given the state of things, I can see where that makes sense. The New Year's Baby is said to represent beginnings, rebirth and positive thoughts for prosperity and good health. Goodness knows we could all use a little prosperity.

Of course we could ALL also use some positive thoughts. For example, Boo could stand to think about positively going on a diet. Ella could positively stand to STOP pushing everybody around. Watson could stand to think positively about, well, standing. Peanut could stand to stop being so positively cute. And, not to be left out, I, myself, could stand to stand on my stump envisioning positive and potent thoughts toward getting more Peanuts in the coming year.

There is, however, one thing about this day that I just can't see as a positive no matter how I look at it. What is that, you might ask? Well, it seems that one year ago today, Cabra entered the world. All I can say is, no wonder the economy went south and corporations collapsed. The birth of the downy dirt devil simply had to be a harbinger of doom.

I'm sure you are thinking, "Marigold! How could such an incredibly cute specimen of doghood be responsible for anything so monstrous?" I can assure you, my friends, it is possible. Might I remind you of the recent, accursed HERDING incident? Does that not convince you?

At any rate, how could something go from the sweet innocence of this...

...to the obvious corruption evident here? Why it doesn't even look like the same dog!

And you know what? Maybe it isn't! Maybe it is a changeling. Yes! Perhaps the real and true Cabra was stolen by faeries and this seemingly innocent, yet annoying, creature was left in her stead. (My powers of deductive ratiocination amaze even me at times.)

I tell you, my friends. DO NOT BE FOOLED! Looks can be deceiving. Despite what you see, this is a dirt-loving, mud-wallowing, dead-bird-finding, snowball-collecting, toy-destroying, trash-raiding, kleenex-shredding, HERDING, denizen of Hell. "All things truly wicked start from an innocence." - Ernest Hemingway. Right on!, Ernie.

Anyway, Happy New Year, everyone! Now that last year's New Year's Baby has had her reign of terror, maybe the year ahead can get on to being the best and most auspicious one ever! Oh, and Happy Birthday, you heel nipping little cookie thief. Oy.


stella said...


Marigold said...

Dear Stella,
Welcome! I guess even I have to admit she is cute.

goatfarmer said...

I think our resident pest Wendell and your devil dog would be a perfect terrorist match. He even has a little Satan costume with a pitchfork. Maybe we could ship them to a Satan Island and make a reality series. I would help chip in for the postage.

Marigold said...

Dear Goatfarmer,
What's it worth to you?

Farmgirl_dk: said...

That last picture is a hoot...look at her little puff ball feet sticking out of her purdy sweater.
Oh, c'mon Marigold...I know you've got a soft spot for this devil girl.
What a sweetie pie!
Happy Birthday to Cabra!

Marigold said...

Okay, FarmGirl...but I draw the line at the herding part!

Kathryn and Ari said...

This curmudgeonly behavior makes for great reading, but I suspect it belies a gentler you—even when changeling dogs are concerned.

We are very sorry to hear about all of the water in your area and even more sorry to hear about the prospect of soggy peanuts. I suspect that will do little to allay your misanthropic (caninethropic?) feelings. Keep your head up! (and dry!!).