"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Divine Miss 'M'

Hey, Ho! Peanut here. Yes, that's right. Peanut. And why, you ask, is it me writing when there is obviously a picture of Auntie Marigold posted here? Well, it's like this. Marigold is in T - R - O - U - B - L - E. Yep. Right here in River City, folks. With a capital 'T', that rhymes with 'fee', that mostly spells 'feet'.

You see the goatmother has been putting off trimming our hooves. You know how it is. First the weather is too cold, then it's too wet, then it snows, then it's cold, then it snows... But finally there was a break and D-day arrived. You may remember that almost a year ago, the goatmother bought this lovely little 'swing' for us. You can refresh your memory here. Anyway, this enabled her to keep the mighty Boo from laying down on her hooves where neither the goatmother, nor any member of the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment, formerly known as the WWF) would likely gain access to them. And it worked too - for the most part. I, myself, have never minded it and usually just 'hang out' (pardon the pun), chewing my cud. Besides, I can assure you those Peanuts are just as good the second time around.

Auntie Marigold, though, has never been able to see the merit in being cooperative, probably due to her ill-perceived 'celebrity' status. After all, she has a blog. She surely should be due 'special' consideration. This means that in her mind, she should not have to endure anything she does not wish to endure. And what Marigold wishes to endure, usually involves Peanuts... or standing on her stump... or butting someone out of the way.
But this time, let me tell you, what 'specialness' Miss Britneygold managed to achieve was in brave new heights of total noncompliance.

The goatmother came prepared. Really she did. She even got a halter because she learned in 'doggie' school, 'control the head, control the animal'. Obviously this rule is read only by, and applies only to, dogs because I can assure you it did nothing for Auntie Marigold. The goatmother had Auntie's head tied and her body in the sling at least twice before she finally gave up and called in the big guns. The goatfather came down to the barn, and even with his presence, Auntie Marigold still managed to climb the walls and then swing (literally) back around for another round while clouting the goatmother in the head with the block part of the block and tackle pulley.

Personally I think Auntie Marigold ought to come down off her 'high goat' and act like the rest of us. After all, " [Being a celebrity] doesn't even seem to keep the fleas off our dogs -- and if being a celebrity won't give me an advantage over a couple of fleas, then I guess there can't be much in being a celebrity after all" - Walt Disney.


Lisa T. said...

Funny, my goats aren't celebrities but they act that same way come manicure day!

Marigold said...

Dear Ms. Lisa,
I am in love with your hat.
The in TROUBLE, Divine Miss 'M'

goatgirl said...

C'mon Marigold. Do I need to teach the goatmother the "pig flip"? No offense:)

Marigold said...

Dear goatgirl,

Kathryn and Ari said...

We think Marigold is angling for a membership in our drive-by HULA gang! (and she would, by the way, be very very welcome in this and any other club!)