"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Fast Food


This is a Cooper's Hawk. What does that have to do with the price of Peanuts, you might ask? Well, the goatmother and the goatfather always feel sorry for the birds, so they put seeds out in little seedy feeders. I, myself, have never understood this practice since there do not seem to be any Peanut feeders available for the occasional passing migrant goat. After all, one never knows when company may stop by, and in the meantime it makes all kinds of sense not to let anything go to waste.

Anyway, all the little birdies come to eat at the little seedy feeders. The Cooper's Hawk, not one to be left out, views this as a personal invitation to dine as well. Never mind that he doesn't even like seeds. After all, isn't it just so nice of these people to provide little 'birdie' feeders just for him? He views it much as one would, oh, say, a 'Jay-In-The-Box' or a 'Birdie-King' drive-thru. Drive right up, see what's available on the menu, and dive right in.

Now usually anyone who dines at the little seedy feeders possesses superior eyesight, not to mention reflexes, enabling them to vacate the area long before the large SUV (Singularly Unacceptable Visitor) even attempts to park himself in the lot. Still, on occasion, the drive-thru delivers - mind you, usually only a little' Happy Meal' like one of those incredibly bird-brained Pine Siskins. However, sometimes the fare becomes a little more 'gourmet' in nature with the infrequent 'Quarter Pounder' Dove or, heaven forbid, 'Duck A L'Orange'.

I suppose it takes all kinds to make up the world, and besides, what would be the point of having a menu if everyone liked the same thing? From that, one could surmise that perhaps life ought to be lived as though every meal might be your last. I know I certainly have that in mind every time I receive a Peanut - this succulence-in-a-shell might just be my last. Still, to the hawks of the world I feel compelled to point out that it is quite impolite to gobble your food. Besides, fast food really isn't good for you.

No comments: