"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A *Star* Is Born

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who know and consequently understand, and those who haven't got a clue. I suspect the goatmother belongs in category two. Why is this, you ask?

Well, you see, the other day was hoof trimming day. Of course you realize this is my least favorite day. In fact, I might go so far as to say it is the most hated day for all us. Naturally I can not include Ella in this since the brown-noser always has to impress the goatmother. Nor, I guess, can I honestly include Watson or Peanut since they could really care less what anyone does as long as there is food involved. Okay, well, I guess I have to admit that leaves only Boo and myself. Hey, what can I say? You gotta' leave the best for last, right?

At any rate, what with the influence of Halloween coming and the Little UnDead guy, I figured this month I'd surprise the goatmother. What?! You think I decided to act with some amount of decorum? Not on your ever-lovin' life! No, this time, I decided to sport a little flair...a little panache. Yes, indeed, I decided to go goth.

So when the goatmother picked up my foot, nippers in hand, and found what you see below, I can only say I was mortified to find just how much of a Nubian that woman is.

Okay, well, I wasn't going for the whole nose-ring thing. I'll leave that to those dumb cows. And let's face it, a tongue stud would only interfere with the consumption of my beloved Peanuts. But a stud in the hoof? Now that was the way to go. A piercing like no other. Something to make me stand out from the crowd.

But when the goatmother picked up my hoof and realized there was a star staring back at her, all she could say was, "Marigold! Where did you get this??? I just can't figure this out. Where could this have come from? I've never even seen a tack in the shape of a star, let alone left one around for you to step on!"

Sheesh, woman! Have you NEVER heard of QVC?????????????
Oy.

5 comments:

Lisa T. said...

Oh Marigold~leave it to you! Couldn't you at least have picked up a diamond stud?

Smiles,
Lisa

Turbo the Sibe said...

It's so fun to befuddle the humans!

Kathy in KY said...

Will you be changing your name to Marigoth? Or soon be known at The Goth Goat? I'm just sayin. But you need to quit watching those late night infomercials.

goatfarmer said...

but listen maribella, didn't your little clammy boyfriend buy you that in Forks at the Vampire A&P?

Marigold said...

Dear Lisa...Diamonds are not a girl's best friend. Peanuts are.

Dear Turbo...I quite agree.

Dear Kathy...No, no Marigoth here. As for the infomercials...I am considering a set of Ginsu knives.

Dear Goatfarmer...Really. That's just ridiculous. He doesn't even have a beard.