"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Great Nothingness

You have no doubt been wondering, 'What in the world has happened to Marigold?' Allow me to say that I have been puzzling over the same thing myself. I'm sure it is quite difficult for you to imagine a Marigold with nothing to say (I know, it is an aberration.) Still, such has been the case of late. Christmas is over. St. Magnus Peanutos has come and gone. It has been rainy and cold and then cold an rainy, and then rainy and cold some more. Yes, my friends, I am afraid I have taken this time of lack and turned it toward an opportunity to contemplate The Great Nothingness. 'What in the world is that?!', you ask. (I have to admit it does sound rather ominous.) Well, allow me to regale you with one very little-known tale.

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away ... (No, wait. I think that was a different story). Anyway, back in 'the day', (whenever 'the day' was ...) there lived a very holy goat. No, really. The goat was holy. This goat was sort of the 'Buddha' of goatdom. He had a magnificent beard and a stupendous set of horns. I'm telling you, he was something to behold - and holy. That goat was so holy. He was even holier than thou.

Now this goat,(who by the way was named Siddhorntha), was standing about one day under a Peanut tree. (Yes. Back then they actually grew on trees. Only evolution has caused them to go underground. Well, that and the fear of being eaten.) Sidd was contemplating the nature of the Universe, and well, I suppose he might have been a bit bored. Nonetheless, a Peanut fell out of the tree onto Sidd's head and he became 'enlightened'. This was when he knew that all goats were meant to seek The Great Nothingness. Only by seeking to understand Nothingness could a true state of Nerdvana be achieved. For you see, Nerdvana is the supreme state of mind wherein perfect lucidity and clarity are reached due to the cessation of all voluntary thought. (Nubians stand a far better chance of reaching this blessed state due to their innate lack of thought processes. It is a well known fact that a Nubian never voluntarily thinks about anything.)

Anyway, I am a mini-Nubian. That means I am half Nubian (though I don't often like to admit it) and therefore, naturally half way to achieving Nerdvana. So that is where I have been and what I have been up to. I have to admit it is kind of boring, all this Nothingness stuff. Maybe something exciting will happen around here soon. One can, after all, stand only so much ennui. In the meantime, allow me to leave you with some deep thoughts of Nothingness to ponder:

"A jug fills drop by drop." (Unless, of course, the faucet is frozen and then it doesn't fill at all.)

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." (Very difficult to achieve when your bum is frozen as well as your mind.)

"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind." (First of all, one can not overrate a Peanut. But that second part must be a misprint because 'he' who envies my Peanut is most certainly going to obtain some piece of mind.)

And lastly, always remember :
"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done." (Which means the Peanut jar is never half empty, but half full.)

Until later, then, Namaste, Y'All.


goatfarmer said...


H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Ha roo, Marigold! Nothing's happened to me. My Human has just been stupid and hasn't been letting me blog. I'll see what I can do about that.

Happy woo year to you!

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Indeed, the most wondrous blog I have ever read!

More, please. ;)

Mimi, The Goat Borrower