"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Oh, The Dance We Do


This is Boo. Boo is very large. No, I take that back. Boo is monumental - like Mt. Rushmore. Obviously this picture was not taken recently or Boo would be lying in a lot of mud. Plus, her collar is still pink. It is no longer pink. That's how you can tell the picture wasn't taken recently. However, Boo's size has not changed since this picture was taken. Some things never change, no matter how much you would like them too.

Anyway, the goatmother has been waiting for a break in the rain in order to trim our hooves. But the rain has been pretty much relentless. This morning, however, it was doing that thing where the sun shines for 5 minutes, and then it is cloudy and raining, and then the sun shines for 3 minutes, and then it rains while the sun is shining. You know the pattern. I call it the Mr. Kimble Weather Pattern. Remember him from that show, 'Green Acres'? "It's a nice day. Well, it's not a nice day. Then again it is pretty fair, but ... "

So, during one of the 'the sun is shining for 5 minute' breaks, the goatmother decided it was a good time to trim Boo's hooves. First of all, as you can probably imagine, one can not trim Boo's hooves on the hoof trimming stand like everyone else. The reason for this is obvious, but, in case you are on the slow side, I'll tell you. No one can get Boo onto the stand. The goatfather used to lift one end up, and then the other, but let's face it, unless you are into weight lifting, this scenario gets pretty old pretty fast.

So recently, the goatfather put a wooden holder on the door, at Boo height, so the goatmother could put a feed bucket there and distract Boo while she trimmed her hooves. Some time ago the goatmother had bought a calf sling for this purpose, but Boo is so , shall we say, comprehensive, it wouldn't fit around her without squishing vital bits. So it was decided that the distraction method might be the best alternative. Now, if you know anything about Nubians, you know that normally it is waaay easy to distract one. This is mostly because they can't remember what they were doing from one moment to the next. Boo is a Nubian, but in this regard, she is decidedly abnormal. When it comes to having her hooves trimmed, Boo simply can not be distracted - not even with food. (I know I'm surprised.) She isn't hateful about it (like some Alpines I know), she simply decides she is NOT going there. Kind of like a tree. One with MAMMOTH roots.

Anyway, the goatmother and Boo engaged in a purposeful pas de duex. I could liken it to that dude, Sisyphus, trying to roll that huge rock up the mountain. Only in this case, it might be more like trying to roll a mountain up the mountain. The goatmother did come out on top, but it certainly was not without an immeasurable amount of cunning and pure determination on her part. It is a very good thing the goatmother is as stout as she is because, if anyone ended up underneath Boo, they would certainly come out in a different shape.

So tomorrow is supposed to be partly sunny. It's my turn. I'll try to be good, but somehow I think, like Boo, I'll probably just end up falling back into my stubborn old dance. Did I mention some things never change? Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying, in the least, to compete with her. In the first place, I'm simply not capacious enough. Besides, who wants to be a copy-goat?

"I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself." - Mikhail Baryshnikov.

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