"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Ah, well, here it is Wednesday.  Again.  How does the time fly by so quickly?  There have been no more Bob-O-Lynx sightings, but ever since the goatmother read that a mere Bobcat can pounce 10 feet and take down a deer, everyone has been grazing with one eye open.  Throw the fainting goat to the front and run, I always say.

At any rate, this morning the goatmother had Peanuts on her breath.  I think she must've had Peanut Butter for breakfast. She didn't offer me any.  Still, I didn't mention it to her.  After all, it is better to never look a gift goatmother in the mouth.  Besides, she's the only one with opposable thumbs to unscrew the lid on the Peanut jar. Unless, of course, we get a monkey, and you can be sure the goatfather isn't going for that.  Come to think of it, the goatmother's grandfather had a monkey.  I heard he used to go around unscrewing all the light bulbs dashing them to bits on the ground, and plucking all the clothespins off the line when they were dutifully trying to hold onto clean laundry.  Oy.  Now that I consider it even further, I remember seeing those pictures of organ grinders with monkeys, and people standing about offering the little devil - what?!!! - PEANUTS!  Okay. No monkeys for us.  Nope.  Ain't gonna' happen.

Note to self (any by the way, Wednesday's Words of Wisdom):  Do be careful what you wish for.

13 comments:

Millie said...

I agree with you about throwing the feinting goat to the front. We don't have one of those around here, but we have a fat little Nigerian Dwarf that I'd be willing to sacrifice.

Anonymous said...

Isn't the fainting goat Watson? That cute black and white baby kid of not so long ago? Why would anyone wish him harm much less use him as canon fodder! I am outraged. Where do I report you and to whom? Someone needs to start a Watson protection agency. Seriously, Marigold, sometimes you are not the nicest barnyard beast. Did you think "the fans" would let this one slip by?

Watch it furry face.

Kelly said...

What! You would throw an itty bitty sweet little fainting goat to the front? No. I just don't believe it. What is the world comming to? Goats! Now if you said a sheep that may be another thing entirely! Please don't tell any of our sheep I said that.;)

Kelly said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
No, No. I am half Nigerian. I could never sacrifice a Nigerian.

Dear Anonymous,
You are mistaken. The lovely black and white spotted one is Peanut. He is a Nigerian dwarf. Not sacrificeable.

Dear Kelly,
First let me say, for some reason I received two of the same comment from you and accidentally published both, which is why one has been removed. No, folks, Kelly didn't say anything inappropriate. Well, at least not on my blog. By the way, sheep would be expendable, but we don't have any.

denise f said...

Oh my! Marigold! I not only laughed out loud when I read about throwing the fainting goat to the front and running....but you don't have a fainting goat, do you? I say throw the MONKEY to front and run... I've been to NYC and seen organ grinders and their monkeys... and what those monkeys throw back at the crowd ain't no peanuts, luv!

Marigold said...

Dear Denise,
Yes, indeed we do have a fainting goat. It is my sleuthing side-kick, Watson.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

i will be sending my squirrels for bob o lynx food! everyone here actually is thin. we eat just a bit and i give it all to elderly neighbors!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

hahaha!!! i wish one of those fuzzies would get stuck in my pumpkin so i could throw it to teddy! that would teach them!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

wait...i don't get this? kansas does not get enough heat? i lived with 5 months of 90 degree weather this year. in pittsburgh!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

oksay...stupid me...you are in washington! that makes sense! i don't think eggplants grow well in washington. but i do envy your weather!

Claire the Shepherdess said...

Marigold, I am very glad you said that you could not possibly throw a Nigerian dwarf to the front because Millie is no doubt talking about my Opal! She's had a certain bitterness about Opal ever since I had to leave Iowa and send poor Opal to go live with Millie and her crew. I think Millie is distressed by the fact that Opal likes to get all the grain to herself, not unlike the goatmother and the peanut butter...

Marigold said...

Dear Claire,
That goatmother wouldn't DARE try to get ALL the Peanut butter. They don't call it 'butter' for nothin'. Or should I say 'Butt-her'?