"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Fear Not!

Haarroo ... uh ... err... cough ... ahemm ... Hello.  So sorry.  Peanut in the mouth. (You know how it is.  One has to keep up one's strength.)  Anyway, it has been awhile and that is because, *unfortunately*, the last round with the Challenger, was not nearly so kind to the Goatmother as before.  Well, it is what it is, and we are on the upswing now.  So remember?  It's all good!

The other *unfortunate* problem is that my stupid muse, Caprinope, has decided to go on vacation.   Again.  This year I believe it is Uzbekistan.  Are there goats in Uzbekistan?  Of course there are.  Goats are everywhere.  Like UPS.  And McDonald's.

Anyway, there was, recently another *unfortunate* occurrence.  I mean I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone, (especially any *unfortunate* Alpines),  but, really,  I simply can't help myself.  You see the Goatfather has dutifully been taking care of us for the Goatmother, and doing an admirable job I might add.  Things have been going smashingly.  Well, except for that one, small *unfortunatecy*.  (Wait.  Is that a word?  Never mind.  I say it is a word, so deal with it.  Besides, this whole thing is beginning to sound a lot  like Lemony Snickett anyway.)  So what happened was that Ella was on the stand because Ella is a hog and the Goatfather had put something in the grain bucket.  Since Ella was on the stand, the Goatfather saw it as an opportune time to check her hooves, reached over, and closed the latch on the headpiece.  Now there is one thing you need to understand about Ella.  Ella loves the Goatmother and will do just about anything the Goatmother asks (the Brown Nose).  But this was decidedly NOT the Goatmother.  It was the Goatfather.  Therefore Ella took exception when the Goatfather tried to pick up her hoof and kicked a mighty Alpine kick.  Normally this would only have elicited snickers from the, pardon me, Peanut gallery, but in this instance, when Ella kicked the mighty Alpine kick, she fell off the stand.  Which really wouldn't have been that big a deal, except her head was still locked in.

So Ella gave the mighty Alpine kick, fell off the stand head still locked in, and managed to scare the bejeebers out of herself and surprise the holy hay out of the Goatfather in the process.    Everyone else stopped in their tracks waiting for the pin to drop.  Instead all hayl broke loose and Ella took off out of the barn, full steam, headed for the pasture with the poor unsuspecting stand flailing along beside her.  At some point, the latch thankfully gave way, and the pas de deux came to an ungraceful end.  The much relieved stand gasped its last breath as its mercurial partner sped away.  If only we'd had the video camera.  Then we could have filmed the fiasco and tacked onto the credits at the end, 'No obnoxious Alpine was harmed in the making of this film'.  We could not, however, have made the same claim for the stand.  The Goatfather spent a good deal of the rest of that morning in resuscitation efforts.

Let this be a lesson to all unsuspecting persons (and stands) to always let sleeping, eating, or for that matter, doing anything, Alpines lie.   This public service announcement has been brought to you by the N.G.A.A A. (Normal Goats Against Alpine Attitude).

So this has been just a short note to let you know that we are still here, still going strong, and haven't run out of Peanuts. 

Amen.

20 comments:

Millie said...

We are all so sorry to hear that this round was more challenging than ever. Glad things are somewhat returning back to the new normal and hope they continue to improve. We've had some goat rodeos going on here with the human trying to train new milking does.

Mrs. Micawber said...

And the video would go viral, and show up on Snowcatcher's "Friday Funny", and you'd make all kinds of peanuts - or cash - from its massive popularity. And then there'd be a book deal, and a movie, and - the final accolade - a reality show. ("Off the Hoof" comes to mind as a possible title.)

I'm glad the Goatfather was not on the receiving end of that mighty Alpine kick.

J (kicking back) said...

Fortunately, Ella did not kick the goatfather!!! Too bad Ella did not kick the Challenger...it could use a few reciprocal blows.

Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
I don't think humans are trainable. Oh, forgive me...I misunderstood. It is the goats that are being trained. Well, of course it will work out - unless they are Alpines. Or perhaps Nubians. In which case, there is likely no hope.

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
The possibilities are endless, to be sure. Although, any book success would have to be in the horror genre, I would think. Where else would one put a story about an Alpine?

Marigold said...

Dear J,
Now THERE you have a point!!!!

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Haarroo back!

I agree that it is always good to let sleeping, eating, etc whatevers continue to do their activity.

Now, on with the nap (and peanuts)!

Mimi Foxmorton said...

I love, love, LOVE that your muse is Caprinope! Most excellent! Though I do hope she thinks to send you a postcard! ;)

Very sorry to hear that this round was a bigger challenge. Rather the Alpine of challenges, eh?

Be strong.......we know you are smart enough not to fall off your stand!
(Unlike some Alpine's we could mention.......)

love and huggies-
Mimi
xoxoxoxo

Marigold said...

Turbo! My friend! So nice to hear from you. Wise words, as always! Is this, by the way, a reference to self? Napping is good. Especially when it is hot.

"Auntie" sezzzzzz... said...

Sorry that this last round, was... More challenging, for you. -sigh- Yes, remembering daughter, being very much challenged, during her time-doing-this too. But she is PEPPY and FINE now. I just like to repeat that part. :-)

Oh my, poor-all-round, with that unfortunate *incident* in the barn. A scary happening, but a Great Memory. Mmmm, well, not so, for the alpine involved. But Goatmother/Goatfather can chuckle, over it, now and then. ,-) Not IN the barn, though!

As to the Continuing Saga Of My Wider Blog and etc. :-) Did you know? Of course you didn't know! I never told you, so how could you know?

Anyway, your blog has always been too wide. I always have to move-it-over so to speak, to read the end of your posted lines. Always.

There are only a couple of blogs, which are like this. And they never asked, so I never told them. I asked!!!! and thank you for responding to my asking!!!

I'm sorry about the added bigger pic problems, which mine is giving you.

And you use a Notebook. A whole new/different wrinkle in this blogging thing. Does your own blog look too wide, on your own Notebook, and do you have to move it back and forth, to read your posted words?

Whewwww... A lot of inquiry going on, in this comment. Sorry "Marigold". :-)

"Auntie"

Marigold said...

Dear Mimi,
Being the social butterfly that she is, one can not hope to get even a postcard from Caprinope. As for the Challenger...we are going to hope for a Nubian next time. That will it will start to cause trouble and then forget what it was doing. And, you are quite right. I would NEVER fall off the stand.

Marigold said...

Dear Auntie,
First, I sent you an email about the too wide blog issue. Second, you just keep right on telling us about that 'peppy and fine' because we SO need to hear that sort of thing! :) As for that barn incident, we'll snicker in the barn for the Goatmother and Goatfather. Always glad to oblige. :)

Candy C. said...

I'm very sorry the Goatmother had a rough time with this go round and hope she is feeling better! {{HUGS}}
My word, what we wouldn't give to have a video of The Great Goat Stand Incident of 2012!! I'm so glad the Goatfather didn't get kicked and also that the silly Alpine wasn't harmed and since they are both fine, it is funnier than all get out!! :)

Marigold said...

Dear Candy,
Thank you for the hugs (I kept a couple for myself ... hope you don't mind.) That is a very good title for the book or the film. Well, put that in the file along with all our snickers. :)

Faith said...

Oh dear....rubbish that this round has been horrible.

Glad the goat father faired ok...I'll bet there was some blue air at your house, there would have been at my house!

Marigold said...

Dear Faith,
Blue Air? Oh my, yes. And guess what? Alpines fly free! (snicker ...)

Snowcatcher said...

I, too, am so glad the Goatfather was not the recipient of the Alpine kick. I love Mrs. Micawber's idea and suggest we plant one of those tiny cameras somewhere so we may capture the hilarity as it ensues next time around. And there is bound to be a next time, right?!?

So sorry this round has been more difficult for the Goatmother. Know that we out in bloggerland are keeping her in our thoughts and prayers.

Marigold said...

Dear Snowcatcher,
With an Alpine, of course there will be a next time. Nothing much ever changes when you have 'THE ATTITUDE'. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers (as you are in ours!) :)

Kelly said...

Hope you are feeling better now. That Goatfather is a heck of a good egg if I say so. At least he is giving it a good try. Alpines do kinda have that attitude in loads. Much Love.

Marigold said...

Dear Kelly,
Yeah, that Goatfather is a pretty good egg. (I have to say that 'cuz he's handing out the Peanuts right now.). That would be a big 10-4 on the Alpine Attitude. Now then, are you ever going to post a blog entry again? WE MISS YOU and TED!