"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Still Here, Still Kickin' ...


Do you like this picture?  It has nothing to do with anything.  It is a Himalayan Impatiens (Impatiens glandulifera).  It is part of the Garden-Gone-Wild gardening plan in place here due to the temporary injunction against Goatmother Gardening.  Seems like it managed pretty well on its own, though.

So, like I said, it has nothing to do with anything.  This is my 500th post.  That has nothing to do with anything either.  Who knew a goat could have so much to say?  Well, whoever thought that obviously never met me.   I suppose this ought to be a momentous occasion, but  due to a lack of Peanuts I'm not feeling very momentous.  Oh, not that we've run out of Peanuts, mind you.  It is just that I haven't had enough of them.  Come to think of it, I never have enough of them, so maybe I am living in a perpetual non-momentous state.  Now there's something to think about.

Anyway, I'm sure you are all wondering about the Goatmother anyway.  Well, the Goatmother made it through the last of the chemotherapy treatments.  Now while she didn't have quite as awful a time as the last, cumulative effects have wrought their vengeance and there seems to be a bit more trouble coming out from under the spell.   I suppose you could say the Goatmother isn't feeling very momentous either.  We shall prevail, however, so never fear.

The next step?  Radiation.  We are not sure exactly when this will begin, only that it should commence some time in the next 3 or 4 weeks.  We are fully expecting the Goatmother to begin glowing, but I think we'll have to draw the line if she starts resembling a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.  ButterBean is bad enough without adding anything green and shell-like into the mix, thank you very much.

So, then, onward and upward!  Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in the ongoing saga against evil. 

"Perseverance is not a long race;  it is many short races one after the other" - Walter Elliot

Sunday, August 12, 2012

You Just Never Know

A couple of days ago, a package arrived in the mail.  It looked like this:


Royal Mail?  What the hay could this be?  Well, as it turns out, it was a wonderful package from our friend Faith (click here to go to her blog) in Wales!  Included in the package was what you see below:



And let me tell you, it is a darned good thing they were included because the waterworks started  right away upon finding the rest of the contents.  So what was it that could elicit such a response, you ask?  It was none other than an effigy of the Goatmother's most beloved alter ego, which you can read about here, in case you missed out.  And not just any old effigy, but one lovingly wrought by the hand of one very skilled artist!  May I present what you see below:



Oh, it's a very cute crocheted doll, you say.  But I assure you, this is not just any crocheted doll.  Take a look at this, my friends :



Yep!  A purple cape with a big 'B' for none other than, ButterBean!!!  Here to bolster the Goatmother and just in the nick of time, for tomorrow will be the LAST chemotherapy treatment!  Now how timely is that?  Just like in the movies, the heroine shows up to save the day!  (We do have one small question for Faith ... why is ButterBean gray?  Is there something you know that we don't about when the Goatmother's hair grows back?  On the other hand, come to think of it, why does ButterBean have hair at all?   I'm just sayin' ...  Don't tell the Goatmother.  Oh, why am I cursed with this ratiocinative nature?)


Now, then,  I wouldn't want you to think this is all that was in that fabulous package from Wales (as if that weren't enough).  Did you see those three beautiful crocheted pansies at ButterBean's feet?  Aren't they lovely?  Still there is one more very special thing, and I will show it to you below:


Do you see what is on that card?  Why it is a VERY good likeness of one philosophically minded goat drawn by the hand of Faith's oldest son!  Now I would say that here is an artist in the making, wouldn't you?  So we thank him most kindly, as well as Faith's middle and youngest sons because, well, we just know they had a hand in helping with the whole project!


Just when we think people can't get any nicer and we can't get any luckier, the Universe has a way of showing us that we're not as smart as we think we are.  We are humbled yet again by the generosity and kindness of these friends, and so very many others.  Most simply, thank you.

So, on to the morrow.  It is not without a little trepidation that we enter this last bout with the Challenger, but we know we can do it.  So many others have and have had so much more to deal with.  So as Princess Leia said to Han Solo, 'A kiss for luck', and we're on our way. (Or was that The Carpenters?)

"Do or do not ... there is no try."  - Yoda

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Setting A Baaad Example

This just gives us all a bad name.  Next thing you know,  all the Goatmothers, Maas, Goat Girls, Goat Guys and anyone else out there that lives with a goat is going to see this and EXPECT that kind of behavior.  Oy.  Not even for Peanuts, Goatmother!

Skateboarding Goat

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Fear Not!

Haarroo ... uh ... err... cough ... ahemm ... Hello.  So sorry.  Peanut in the mouth. (You know how it is.  One has to keep up one's strength.)  Anyway, it has been awhile and that is because, *unfortunately*, the last round with the Challenger, was not nearly so kind to the Goatmother as before.  Well, it is what it is, and we are on the upswing now.  So remember?  It's all good!

The other *unfortunate* problem is that my stupid muse, Caprinope, has decided to go on vacation.   Again.  This year I believe it is Uzbekistan.  Are there goats in Uzbekistan?  Of course there are.  Goats are everywhere.  Like UPS.  And McDonald's.

Anyway, there was, recently another *unfortunate* occurrence.  I mean I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone, (especially any *unfortunate* Alpines),  but, really,  I simply can't help myself.  You see the Goatfather has dutifully been taking care of us for the Goatmother, and doing an admirable job I might add.  Things have been going smashingly.  Well, except for that one, small *unfortunatecy*.  (Wait.  Is that a word?  Never mind.  I say it is a word, so deal with it.  Besides, this whole thing is beginning to sound a lot  like Lemony Snickett anyway.)  So what happened was that Ella was on the stand because Ella is a hog and the Goatfather had put something in the grain bucket.  Since Ella was on the stand, the Goatfather saw it as an opportune time to check her hooves, reached over, and closed the latch on the headpiece.  Now there is one thing you need to understand about Ella.  Ella loves the Goatmother and will do just about anything the Goatmother asks (the Brown Nose).  But this was decidedly NOT the Goatmother.  It was the Goatfather.  Therefore Ella took exception when the Goatfather tried to pick up her hoof and kicked a mighty Alpine kick.  Normally this would only have elicited snickers from the, pardon me, Peanut gallery, but in this instance, when Ella kicked the mighty Alpine kick, she fell off the stand.  Which really wouldn't have been that big a deal, except her head was still locked in.

So Ella gave the mighty Alpine kick, fell off the stand head still locked in, and managed to scare the bejeebers out of herself and surprise the holy hay out of the Goatfather in the process.    Everyone else stopped in their tracks waiting for the pin to drop.  Instead all hayl broke loose and Ella took off out of the barn, full steam, headed for the pasture with the poor unsuspecting stand flailing along beside her.  At some point, the latch thankfully gave way, and the pas de deux came to an ungraceful end.  The much relieved stand gasped its last breath as its mercurial partner sped away.  If only we'd had the video camera.  Then we could have filmed the fiasco and tacked onto the credits at the end, 'No obnoxious Alpine was harmed in the making of this film'.  We could not, however, have made the same claim for the stand.  The Goatfather spent a good deal of the rest of that morning in resuscitation efforts.

Let this be a lesson to all unsuspecting persons (and stands) to always let sleeping, eating, or for that matter, doing anything, Alpines lie.   This public service announcement has been brought to you by the N.G.A.A A. (Normal Goats Against Alpine Attitude).

So this has been just a short note to let you know that we are still here, still going strong, and haven't run out of Peanuts. 

Amen.