"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Irrefutable Proof

Hey, ho.  I know.  I'm behind again.  I don't think it is going to get better anytime soon, though, so we'll just have to deal.  It is the Goatmother's fault.  She got so far behind and it rubbed off on everybody else.  Oy.

Anyway, I am writing this post as irrefutable proof.   Of what, you ask?  Well, let's begin at the beginning, shall we?  Those of you who are football fans may remember the ultimate in Super Bowl commercials that was shown this year - the Dorito-loving goat.  Now if you don't remember because you have slept since then, or if you never saw it in the first place, you can do so HERE.

So, this begs the question...  Well, actually two questions.  First, what the hay is so darned special about some cheddar-cheese laden bit of triangular corn?  And second, just what kind of goat would actually go so head-over-hooves for them?  Inquiring minds certainly wanted to know around here, so we decided to conduct an experiment.  I, for one, could not fathom that such a *treat* could actually be that good, and I knew, without a doubt, that no self-respecting, Peanut-loving mini-Nubian would ever be enticed to the dark side.

Proof is in the pudding as they say, or in this case, the munchy morsel.  Not only that, but a picture is worth a thousand words.  Can't go wrong then.  Here's how it went:

The variable, said cheesy chip, is purchased.


Myself, being the most intelligent and discerning subject, is offered the first taste.


Obviously my keen palate serves me well and the offering is rightly refused. Certainly it is to be eyed with great suspicion.


Next, the morsel is offered to Ella.  Now here is a real test since Ella has no palate and will eat virtually anything.  She eyes it innocently.


Whoa!  Proof positive that even the gourmand, as opposed to the true gourmet, can't stomach these things. 
 

Next, the item in question is offered to the fainting goat.  Luckily he does not faint, but you may observe that even he is not inclined to eat it.  I might add, here, that Boo was not offered the tidbit.  This was decided before the experiment began since her Nubianess would prevent her from remembering what exactly she was trying to accomplish.  Or even that she might have tried to put something in her mouth in the first place, or that it was not, in actuality, something like, say, a hat.  It would simply be a moot point.


At this point, the crispy critter is offered to Peanut.  Oy.  As you can see, he actually takes it, for goats' sake!


Not only does he take that one, but he takes another, and another and yet ANOTHER!  Oh, the shame.


At length, he is seen standing at the gate literally begging for more.  Can you see the orange tongue and the tell-tale remnant hanging out the side of his mouth?  This is embarrassing.  After all, he is my nephew.  Can you see the look of dismay on my face?  Begging is so beneath a goat's dignity.


At any rate, ir-re-fut-a-ble proof!  These things are NOT all they are cracked up to be.  What were those commercial people thinking?  I can only say it is a product of the almighty buck (that would be the dollar kind and not the goat kind, thank you very much.  Although, come to think of it ...  Nope.  Not goin' there.)   And, it also answers the second question.  What kind of goat was that in the commercial?  What kind of goat could go so hog ... I mean, goat-wild over such an inferior comestible?  Obviously a Nigerian.

Which leaves us with a question even Watson is left considering.  Just what IS the fascination?




22 comments:

Millie said...

Well, I think I might like to try those out for myself. Maybe you could get your Goatmother to tell my human to see if the results can be replicated. You know, for the sake of science...

Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
I suppose anything in the name of science. :)

Mrs. Micawber said...

Three letters. M S G.

Apparently goats are (mostly) proof against this evil brain-twisting ingredient. Good thing too. :)

Stick with Peanuts is what I say. And pay no attention to commercials.

P.S. The Goatmother will realise that when I emailed her, politely hoping for a post from you, I had not yet seen your post.

Terry said...

Dear Marigold, Doesn't the Goatmother know that the test subjected you to Peanut's Dorito breath? You poor thing! Having teenage sons, I know what that can be like in a closed-up minivan. I can only imagine what it is like with goat belches.

Faith said...

I have to say you are not preaching to the converted, as they are about my favourite, but then I guess I'm not a goat....lacking taste would you say?

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
That MSG thing...that must stand for Mighty Serious Goat? I mean Peanut was definitely serious about his lust for that stuff. What is wrong with that guy anyway? Oy.

Marigold said...

Dear Terry,
FINALLY! Someone sees my pain! Thank you. We can only hope the Goatmother will read your comment and remember this in the future if she happens to go off on another scientific adventure.

Marigold said...

Dear Faith,
They actually have those things in Wales? Who knew? Perhaps you are merely a Nigerian and didn't know it. :)

Candy C. said...

Hmmmm...I thought the goat's fervor for the cheesy triangles in that commercial was a little suspect. Goats really DON'T eat anything and everything, as any self-respecting mini-Nubian will tell you!
I think we'll stick with peanuts for the girls here. :)

Marigold said...

Dear Candy,
A wise choice. I wise choice indeed.

Goat Girls Rule! said...

Guess what's on our shopping list for this week ......

Marigold said...

Dear Goat Girls,
I DO hope you will share the results of your scientific endeavor.

Snowcatcher said...

Mighty Serious Goat... oh, my gosh! I just spewed all over my computer! Thank heavens I wasn't eating Doritos! (None to be found in this humble abode, thank heavens!)

So glad to see you out and about and experimenting, even if this was a nose turner...

Marigold said...

Dear SnowCatcher,
I'm certainly glad you didn't have any of those orange cheesy things in your mouth. You computer never would have been the same.

Missy the Goat said...

Better watch it when the MSG hits the GMO then it could lead to a Goat Made Obese.

Marigold said...

Dear Missy,
You are absolutely correct. This is right thinking. I think it is too late for Boo. Good thing she didn't get to enter into the experiment. Or you know, come to think of it, it could be Generally Morbidly Obese. I'm just sayin' ...

goatfarmer said...

Peanut's mother also liked Doritos. And swedish fish. And Black Crows. And ginger snaps. And fritos. And vanilla wafers. And animal crackers. And nutter butters. And those little lemony cookies. And popcorn. And corn chex. And regular chex. And cheerios. And Cap'n Crunch. And juice boxes. And beer. I'm sorry I am out of time now. That is just the start of the list. Please don't ever take Peanut into a mini-mart. He will run amuck.

Marigold said...

Dear GoatFarmer,
Got it. Check. No mini-marts for Peanut. At least we know, now, he comes by it honestly. Yes, a mini-mart would not be wise. I can see this. He would end up incarcerated in the horse trailer and we don't have one. He would come by that honestly too. Oh, how we miss Hannah Belle!

Claire the Shepherdess said...

I think there is a possible trend here, that bears investigation. It seems that the male sort of goat (buck or wether) may be more inclined towards the cheesy triangle of questionable food value, in comparison to the female sort of goat, who, is, quite naturally, smarter. Hmmm.

Marigold said...

Dear Claire,
I believe this to be a quite sound hypothesis.

Ginnie said...

OMG, I love the picture of Peanut with the telltale remnant.

Marigold said...

Dear Ginnie,
The proof is there. The camera does not lie. :)