This is too much. Really. The goatmother has, heretofore, been unhappy with my efforts to guide her in the acquisition of Caprine mode de dance. She has no rhythm; I swear on a stack of alfalfa bales this is true! It is just embarrassing.
So lately I have changed my tack. I have begun placing my forelegs on her shoulders, just as I have seen any number of famous two-legged dancers do. Fred Astaire. Gene Kelley. Patrick Swayze. (Well, okay, that last one is for 'dirty dancing'...but goats have dirt - lots of dirt! The whole barn floor is dirt!). Anyway, I have been using 'Peanut' time to practice and break the goatmother 'in'. However, I must concede that it doesn't seem to be working. She keeps getting upset and talking about 'bruises', and, 'What's wrong with you all of a sudden?', and, 'Marigold! Will you get down!'. I simply throw in the towel. That's it! I quit. No more! I'm getting a new partner and that's all there is to it! I know he's supposed to be a singer, but he was voted 'out'. Do you think Sanjaya might be interested in a change of pace? A little 'hoofing the light fantastic'? A little joie de vivre a la chèvre?