"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, December 20, 2008

It Came Upon A Mid-Day Clear

It was a cold December morning. Snow lay sparkling like iridescent ice-cream atop every inanimate object (and some animate ones too). It covered the fence posts with a frosty sheath, freezing everything it touched. That's how it happened.

What happened, Marigold? I think you've had one too many Peanuts.

No. Trust me. It was beyond anything. You see, in the morning the goatmother came out and opened the barn door. In order to do this, she must first pass through a gate into the paddock. The gate opens in either direction and has a latch mechanism on both sides. That is how it happened.

Oh, good grief! Will you just get on with the story.

Okay, well, the gate was opened this morning. In the afternoon, the goatmother was sitting at her computer when she heard the Mighty Quinn begin to whine desperately. She trudged dutifully down the stairs to let him out. That was the first problem because, in fact, it was really the parakeet, Crenshaw, imitating the Mighty Quinn whining and was not the Mighty Quinn at all. Nonetheless, the goatmother opened the door to let the dogs out and looked up just in time to see us coming up from the snow laden, brushy pasture.

Now I realize I said I would never set foot outside the barn as long as there was snow on the ground, but, well, frankly I just couldn't stand it in there with Ella a minute longer. Anyway, as the goatmother watched, she suddenly realized that no one was stopping at the gate and everyone was proceeding, in an orderly procession, toward the snow-blanketed garden. She dropped everything, grabbing for her boots and coat, and yelling to the goatfather that indeed, 'Houston we have a problem!' - the goats are out!!!

Really I don't understand what all the fuss was about. It's not like we were going very far. After all, there is snow on the ground. Plus, surely someone must have meant for us to explore new territory or the latch would never have inadvertently frozen open. I don't know how it took us so long to discover , but I blame Boo. Honestly, no one can see around anything that size.

So, the four of them, the goatmother, goatfather, the Mighty Quinn, and Cabra, came charging toward the barn. The goatfather was in the lead and Ella ran around to meet him (the turncoat). The Mighty Quinn veered off and that's when it happened.

There you go again. Get to the point already.

The goatmother looked up in time to see everyone (except Ella, of course) running for the lot. She wasn't really surprised until she saw Peanut run by the fence inside the lot so fast that he caused it to sway. Why was he running? That's when she saw the little tan ball of fuzz hot on his heels. HOLY FINKELBINDER! The downy dirt devil can HERD! We knew it was a possibility (remember this?), but we hardly expected her to live up to the image. I am ashamed to say that we allowed ourselves to be manipulated by a ball of fuzz with snowballs hanging off of it. How humiliating. Oh, the embarrassment that is mine.

Life will never be the same. The goatmother says it just goes to show: "Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what do do and let them surprise you with their results." - General George S. Patton.

1 comment:

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Oh, good girl, Cabra! (sorry, Marigold). I wish the goatmother had gotten video of this!