"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, February 18, 2008

It Happens Every Spring ...

... or so it seems. I would be willing to wager that right about now you are thinking, 'What the hay is that ridiculous goat talking about now?' However, I assure you I am far, far from ridiculous. Which is not to say that someone isn't being. In fact, I would also bet that you are now envisioning that I will soon be spewing forth ebullient, spring-like phrases such as 'new spring lambs', 'love in the air', 'budding flowers', and various and sundry otherwise 'gushy' sentiments. And you would be wrong! Oy. I am beginning to confuse myself now, so let's just forget all that and cut right to the heart of the matter.

You may remember that last spring the goatmother came up with the ludicrous idea of having a 'herding' dog for the goats. This, in fact, is how we came to be saddled with the Mighty Quinn. Well, I suppose, as dogs go, he isn't too bad. He is a decent size and makes an adequate target. Recently, though, the goatmother has begun to 'think' again. This is irrefutably ALWAYS a very bad thing. Just ask the goatfather. Nonetheless, 'think' she did, and she settled on the idea that the Mighty Quinn needed a companion. A companion? What the alfalfa for? He isn't a 'herd' animal, and he certainly isn't a 'flock' sort of guy. Besides, aren't we goats companions enough? After all, we get along just fine as long as he minds his manners, stays on his side of the fence, and out of the Peanuts. But you see it is almost Spring. (Notice that capital letter. That's because it means something.) That (Spring with a capital 'S') is the problem. At least I can't come up with any other logical explanation, Captain.

Fascinating.

And so, just like last Spring, the goatmother has come up with what? - another 'dog'. Oy. Fortunately for us, this is a very small dog. In fact, it is going to be absolutely impossible to get one's head down far enough to get a decent shot. And as if that weren't bad enough, this dog is half Havanese, a dog originally used in Cuba to, GOOD GREAT GOAT GOD PAN!!!!, HERD !!!!!!! ------------- (Notice the long space here? That is to allow what I just said to sink in.) Mind you it was only poultry and geese these dogs herded, but supposing this one can't tell the difference between feathers and hooves? So, I thought, perhaps it is only a myth. Perhaps there is no (shudder) herding ability at all. But you know what? The goatmother found this link on the web and became quite excited! "See?!", she said. "Oh, boy...", I replied. (Can you hear the enthusiasm?)

Now the other half of this dog is Bichon Frise. Okay, that doesn't sound too awfully bad - kind of 'frou-frou' in fact. I can't be sure which half is the Havanese half though. If it's the legs, 'Aye, Cap'n!... cud bae trooble doon a 'tha planet!'

So, look below and you can see just the kind of thing we are forced to endure around here. "There seems to be no intelligent life anywhere..." If it weren't for the fact that this place has such exquisite Peanuts, I think I would strongly consider moving and going, without hesitation, 'boldly where no goat has gone before!'

Fascinating.

Just where is Scotty when you need him to beam you up, anyway? Oh, yeah...floating about in space on the SpaceLoft XL. Oy.


Still, I suppose with a face like this, maybe, just maybe things might not end up so badly. For now I'll just baa and bear it. After all, in the words of one of the world's most highly regarded heroes, Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise, "Those of you who have served for long on this vessel have encountered alien life-forms. You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. But there's no such thing as 'the unknown,' only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood." Ah, yes, understanding. Quite logical.

6 comments:

goatgirl said...

Marigold, I see ducks in your future.

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Marigold! I had no idea you were a Trekkie! Nice Mr. Scott impression, too. Have you thought about taking your act on the road?

That new pup has the face of an angel. What a sweetie pie.

Take heart, Marigold. Spring usually means puppieS (plural). Suck it up - you can handle one little girl pup! :-)

goatfarmer said...

Oh. My. God.

I mus be getting senile, I think that thing is as cute as a BUTTON! In fact I would call it BUTTON if it doesn't have a name!!

Marigold said...

Dear GoatFarmer,
Well, unfortunately, for her or for us...I am not sure who, she has been deemed 'Cabra'. Yes, that is right. It is the Spanish word for a female goat. I think this whole 'herding goats' thing has really gone to the goatmother's head.

deconstructingVenus said...

Ok, i don't do frou-frou dogs but... that one's pretty cute. :)

goatfarmer said...

Cabra is fine for formal occasions or going to the fair. But everyone needs at least 2 names and inside my head I am going to call that thing BUTTON!