"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Tale of Teleportation

Every morning when the goatmother sets out for the barn, she sees what you see below. This is the barn. Now you will notice, that the bottom half is a gate and the top half is open but covered with wire. In this neck of the woods, goaties have to be 'put up' at night 'cuz brother, we have critters here! More specifically, coyotes, mountain lions and bears, oh, my!

Anyway, the half of the barn behind the wire is where Peanut and Watson stay at night, while the 'maiden quarters' are behind the wall to your left. That being the case, when the door opens in the morning up at the house, one can usually see two small heads bob up over the gate. Well, truthfully one only sees Watson's nose, and the only actual head is Peanut's because he stands on the 'pedicure' stand in order to gain enough altitude to actually see over. That is the usual case, but as everyone knows, this farm knows little or nothing about usual. So this morning when the goatmother went out, instead of seeing the boys, she was, in fact, greeted by an overzealous Ella. (Ella is always overzealous. I think it comes with the legs.)

Now how was this possible?, thought the goatmother. For you see, if you enter the Sacred hay room and look through to the 'maiden quarters', this is what you see.

Two gates with two latches. And this is exactly how the goatmother found the gates when she went into the barn this morning...except. Except what? Well, Peanut was exactly where he was supposed to be, but somehow, mysteriously, Ella and Watson had switched places during the night! Obviously here was a case for the most intrepid investigator of all time, Marigold Holmes. (Okay, I admit I was asleep when the actual sleight of hand- or is it body? - took place, but that is beside the point.)

So I began my investigation. Pictured below is one of the actual locks. You will notice that it has a top piece that comes down and latches firmly over the pawl, or bar, on the door. This is how it works and this is why it stays latched. Hmmmm..... Well, I suppose one of the boys could have lifted the latch somehow, but then, since the door opens inward, were they working in tandem with Ella on the other side to actually push the door open? And to make matters worse, how did the gates get latched again after the two miscreants switched places? One would think I would have heard or seen something, but then I guess if you sleep next to Boo, a herd of elephants wearing army boots could pass through and you'd never notice.

At any rate, the mystery of how these two magically changed places remains just that - a mystery. I have noticed that lately Watson has given up Shakespeare in lieu of reading books about the life of Houdini. I asked how he did it and all he did was look at me and say, "My brain is the key that sets my mind free." - Harry Houdini

Boy, Oy Boy, Oy Boy!


goatfarmer said...

I find it very suspicious whenever any member of the Hannah Belle family is even remotely involved. Even a distant relative, much less a son.

Kathryn and Ari said...

What a conundrum, indeed, Ms. Holmes. Have your bunkmates learn to levitate? Or, like Harry Potter, disparate into think air only to reappear? This is serious. What if the little monster dog learns to do the same?!?!