"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, August 9, 2010

In the Shadows

You know, sometimes there's nothing to talk about and then, all of a sudden, there's lots to talk about. Take yesterday for example. We have new neighbors up the road, and one of the new neighbors brought the neighbor-daughter to visit. The neighbor-daughter is quite grown up and lives far, far away in a mythical land called O'Re-Gone. I think it is called this because, first of all, there are Irish people living there. Then, because it is so far away, it has always been gone, and then somebody apparently tried to find it and couldn't, so it became 're-gone'. That's what a few hours on my stump helped me to conclude anyway.

Okay, but I digress. Again. Why do I do that? Anyhow, you see the neighbor-daughter is quite fond of animals. I, myself, think she particularly likes goats, and anyone can certainly understand that. The fact is, though, she liked us so much she wanted to come in the pen. I will admit in hind sight this might not have been the best plan, but I suppose it is what it is. Nonetheless, she and the goatmother entered the pen and the neighbor-daughter squatted down next to the barn where Peanut was standing. (I might add that I was not far away, looking magnificent, as usual, despite my current debilitation.) Then Ella approached. Ella sniffed the neighbor-daughter and the goatmother thought, 'Oh, she's going to rub her head on the neighbor-daughter like she does me.'

Well, here's the problem. You see that picture up above? Notice that Ella's face lies in shadow. There's a reason for that. It is because she has shifty eyes. Now, had anyone else realized, as do I, what a complete punk Ella is, they might have been able to see what was coming. But humans being what they are, just didn't. Ella took advantage, of course, because Ella can. She lowered her head as if to scratch, and, instead, butted the neighbor-daughter's shoulder into the side of the barn! The goatmother was horrified, but it came as no surprise at all to me. After all, I live with that on a daily basis. Oy.

The goatmother has since tried to come up with an explanation for Ella's behavior. It could be because the neighbor-daughter got down on Ella's level, thereby causing Ella to think the goatmother was introducing a new goat to the herd. Naturally a new goat has to be put in it's place. It is The Code. Then again, it might have been because the neighbor-daughter is quite lovely, with eyes like Giada, and Ella might just have been jealous. I mean we know that Ella sees herself as the Ella McPherson of goatdom.

At any rate, Ella is in trouble yet again. At the time I thought about smacking a glob of web on her and wrapping her up right then and there. Hey, I could have if I'd really wanted to, but then my cover would have been blown. In the meantime, I smile inwardly. I smile outwardly too. Heck, I'm just a great big barrel of smiles! Sometimes life hands you lemonade after all. And, oh, Ella? I think I'd tread very softly for awhile if I were you. You just never know when you might meet a real superhero in those shadows you're so fond of. And, Ella? " ... you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk???" - Dirty Harry

Spidergoat, Oy and out, and smiling all the way.


Kathy in KY said...

Wonderful post & observation Miss Marigold - OOPS I mean, SpiderGoat. That Ella, what can a goat do, I ask you?! I hope the neighbor's daughter took it all in stride. No more peanuts for Ella for a while. Take care Spidey, from KY.

J said...

I tend to think the force was with Ella...she did what we all want to do and lack the cohonnies to do it: Ella eliminated the competition. The girl has it going on. Let's face it--Spidergoat sent out the annihilation vibe via the barnyard web. There are only so many peanuts to go around. Ella is a superhero in her own right.

Marigold said...

Dear J,
The only place Ella is a 'superhero' is in her own, feeble mind. She has no spidey sense. In fact, she has no sense at all.

Millie said...

Oh, my. That will never do. I certainly think someone needs to chat with that Ella.

Kathy in KY said...

Hey Marigold - I saw your comment on my blog - forgot you know Pinky and Payton. I crocheted an afghan for Pinky first - in the Ty Dy colors of Hydrangea; her Mama Ginger has some photos of the Pinky Dink wrapped in it - would you like me to send the pics to you? I forgot how small the cyber-world can be sometimes! Take care from KY - and guard your peanuts against the stealth Ella.