"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Okay, well, last week I was late, so this week I'm making up for it by being early.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Anyhow, we live at the end of the road.  In fact, if you didn't manage to negotiate the turn in the drive, you would end up in the pasture.  Visitors are nice, but I'm NOT sharing my Peanuts.  Just so you know.  

Now, at the top of our road is a sign.  A nice yellow sign with black lettering that clearly states, 'Dead End.  No Turn Around.'  Yet, despite the very conciseness of these words, people inevitably come down our road and then have nowhere to go.  I can't tell you how many times this happens, but blatant disregard causes them to have to make a three-point turn in order to go back the way they came.  Either that or they are forced to back up all the way.  Sometimes it is kind of entertaining because, let's face it, the three-point turn is an art.  Still, I often find myself wondering when one of them is going to end up in the pasture with the goats.

So I've been giving this situation some thought.  Do you suppose these people are illiterate?  Or maybe they have such a curious nature they just can't help themselves.  You know, kind of like Alice falling down the rabbit hole?  Or maybe they are non-believers convinced that all signage is created by a bourgeois Establishment in an effort to confuse the masses.  I don't know, but I'd really be willing to bet a good many of the transgressors are simply those kind of people who look at a sign and think, 'Oh!  Look at that.  A sign.  Well, that doesn't mean me.  That's for those other people.'  Yep.  I think that might just be a possibility.

Whatever the reason, I must admit it does cause one to take pause.  We'll be munching along quite contentedly and someone will look up mid-munch and remark, 'Oh.  Here comes another one.'  Then everybody gives a big sigh and rolls their eyes.  Everybody, that is, except Watson, who is sometimes standing too close to the corner of the pasture and ends up fainting.  Come to think of it, I suppose he could be rolling his eyes, too, while he's rolling down the hill.  Nevertheless, I think the goatmother ought to put up yet another sign.  One that reads something like, 'See?  Told ya' so, ya' big dummy!'  Oy.

So, in light of this, Wednesday's Words of Wisdom are this:  If you see a sign that tells you something important, be wise enough to pay attention and don't go there.  I mean, supposing the sign at the head of our road read, 'Bridge Out', or 'Beware!  Cranky Dragon', or 'Entering Roswell.  Beware of Aliens'?  Wouldn't it be prudent to trust what the sign is trying to tell you?  Oh, well, I guess "It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. -  Walter Lippmann. Or stupid, Walt.  Don't forget stupid.


Kelly said...

Marigold you are so wise. Please, please, please ask your goatmother to make that sign, put it up and please make a video for us. How cool would that be?

Claire the Shepherdess said...

I think of myself as a woman with a decent amount of brain, most of the time. But there was this one time, in the evening, in a terrific rainstorm, when I was on my way to pick up a llama, when my brain failed to exhibit its normal powers. The sign said "bridge closed" (not "bridge out" mind you) and I said to my driver (who was of considerably less brain power even on a good day), "Never mind that, just keep going" and so he did. I believe I had grown immune to road signage because the road I was living on had a "road closed" sign for weeks, which I simply drove around to get home, and really it wasn't closed at all, it was fine, since they only worked on it every other day or so, if I was lucky. Anyway, the bridge to llama land was closed, but we never got there, because the mud was so deep and pudding-like that after a time, the truck got stuck. It took a long time to become unstuck, and to turn around, and find the llama place after all of that, only to have to load a very angry llama in the pouring rain, with a lot of spitting involved. It was a very bad night. I agree with your recommendation to pay very close attention to road signs.
p.s. We are very fond of Cardoon and Cynara. Thank you for the excellent suggestion.

J said...

A new sign might be in order. Here's an idea: write "Dead Ahead" and hang a blood drenched chainsaw from the sign. Placing a dismembered body part here or there might increase the effect. That should get brakes squealing.

goatgirl said...

Sign, Sign, everywhere a sign....
Do this, Don't do that. Can't you read the sign???
Some people are just rule breakers. My hubby would go down that road and I wouldn't.