"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Well, guess what?  Remember the last post when the Goatmother caught our little furry friend?  You know, that one that kept leaving the 'perfectly positioned pile of poops'?  That very evening, the Goatmother breezed through our nightly bed 'turn down' and 'Peanut on the pillow' with a reckless feeling of abandon.  No longer would she arrive in the morning, throw open the barn door and be greeted by said, now infamous, 'perfectly positioned pile of poops'.  Alas, some dreams do come true.  Right?

Fast forward.  Now, don't blame me.  Some of you actually asked for this picture.

Yes, the Goatmother bounced out of bed the next morning.  Well, wait a minute.  The Goatmother never bounces out of bed.  Okay, so the next morning the Goatmother dragged her sorry a .... bum out of bed, eventually came to the barn, threw open the barn door, and VOILA!  This is what she saw.  Obviously the wrong miscreant had been apprehended and falsely accused.  Oy.

Guess what else reappeared?

Can you see some of my peanuts in there?  Anyway, good things come to those who wait. The following morning, the 'perfectly positioned pile of poops' was again perfectly positioned in front of the door.   Sadly, however, the trap had been sprung, and no evidence could be found of the true perpetrating positioner of poops. The trap was reset because that's how the Goatmother is - p.e.r.s.i.s.t.e.n.t.

Guess what?  (I know.  I say that a lot, but how else can I build the suspense, I ask you?)
The next morning the Goatmother hit pay dirt  - or pay Peanuts!  Oh, heck.  She caught the stupid rat!

So, Wednesday's Words of Wisdom are this:  No matter what the situation, if there is one, always assume there is more.  That's really good advice - especially if there are Peanuts involved.  And you know what else?  Always reset the trap.


J said...

The questions now are how are you going to keep rats out permanently or will you just trap them on an as needed basis? And what exactly are you going to do with your fecal friends? How do you poops don't have feelings?

Also, you should consider if whether or not the rat told his friends about your warm and cozy barn. Did he post pics on his blog or facebook? Are his fans left hanging concerned about where mister adventurous is?

Try not to lose sleep.

Claire the Shepherdess said...

That is a very cute rat. I mean, most rats seem to be rather more sinister looking than that one. That one also has a particularly rounded looking nose, rather than the pointy variety. I think that rat is rather fetching. Are we sure it's a rat? Couldn't it be, oh I dunno, a lesser spotted rat-tailed vole or something? I'm glad it was relocated rather than dispatched. It really is cute...

Millie said...

Our human had to take drastic measures to evict the rat residents in our barn this past summer. They are very ignorant when it comes to knowing they are not wanted.

Marigold said...

Dear J,
I believe the rat DID tell his friends, since the Goatmother went out this evening and found yet another cab fare waiting for the Goatfather's taxi service.

Dear Millie,
Yes, indeed. Some folks seem to have an inflated value of themselves. :)

Dear Claire,
You may be right. It might have been a wood rat or something. Especially since tonight's cab fare was decidedly more pointy-nosed, bare tailed and gray instead of kind of brown. I guess it's come one, come all at this establishment. I've noticed Peanuts seem to have that affect.

Claire the Shepherdess said...

Good thing the taxi service doesn't discriminate about its customers!

denise f said...

I have one, and only one, thing to say....it's the same thing I say whenever I come across a furry-perfect-pile-of-poop leaver: aaaaAAAccccKKKKKAAAAARRRGGHHHHSSCCRREEEEEECCCHHHHHHHHH.

This is usually accompanied by me leaping 6 or 7 feet in the air (who knew I was so athletic?) and scaling the nearest fence.