"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Passing Of An Institution

Have you heard the news???  Hostess has gone under.  Twinkies and Ding Dongs are being sold on EBay as we speak.  Oy.  Do you suppose any of them have the face of Elvis on them?  I bet those go for more.  Nonetheless, no Hostess in our life?  I mean they've been around since 1930, for Goats' Sake!  How many Twinkies and Ding Dongs have been carried in lunch boxes over the years?  How many picnics featured them for dessert? How many of them popped out of metal lunch boxes high atop some steel beam in the sky?  Whatever will The Closer do now???

Still considering they have an infinite shelf life, maybe it was time.  I'm sure they are still going to be around for a long time to come.  Even if they get hard, one could still use them as a door stop.  Or, if you were to hollow out the center early on, one might be able to use them to hide keys out of doors.  They might even become lawn ornaments.  Garden Gnomes may soon lose their status in favor of the artfully placed Twinkie amongst the Petunias.   I wonder if any will go in the Smithsonian?  The possibilities are endless here.  Someone has not had on their thinking cap.  There are enough possibilities available from Twinkies and Ding Dongs alone to likely pull the company OUT of bankruptcy.  Too bad they never had a goat for a CEO.  Things might have been much different.

What possibilities can you come up with?  Perhaps you ought to go on EBay right now and see what you can get.  Just think of how many EBucks you'll earn.

At any rate, I just hope this sort of thing doesn't happen to Peanuts.  Although I can't imagine that it will since Peanuts are so good for you.  A health food really.  And you know, like they say, 'God don't make no junk', so Peanuts are surely going to be around forever.  Just the same, if you happen to be a Peanut grower and you just happen to be reading this, please, don't take any chances.  I'm just sayin' ...

Anyway, if you ask me, we ought not get too excited about it but merely view it as one of those things that has seen its time.  About the only way we can continue to exist in this world is to accept change.  Honor what was and embrace what is to be.  Goodbye, Hostess.  We knew you well.

“Nevertheless so profound is our ignorance, and so high our presumption, that we marvel when we hear of the extinction of an organic being; and as we do not see the cause, we invoke cataclysms to desolate the world, or invent laws on the duration of the forms of life!” Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species 

Right, you are, Mr. Darwin.  I just hope they don't invent any laws on the duration of Ding Dongs.  We have enough of those floating about in existence as it is.


Millie said...

I'm with you. Just don't do away with peanuts...or apples...

Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
See? Great minds think alike. :)

Kelly said...

I never was a Twinkie or Ding Dong fan. Sorry. Peanuts will never leave this planet. You have too many ways to eat them. Candy, roasted, boiled. Yum. Life will continue as all good goats know it. Have you ever eaten a pecan? Well, I hate to say it but it makes a peanut just so so. Try it. You may just become a pecan eatin goat. Much Love.

Marigold said...

Dear Kelly
I am so glad you are not still lost in Florida! :) Yes, I believe those Peanuts are like Forrest Gump's shrimp...you can boil 'em, you can saute 'em, you can roast 'em, you can eat 'em with .... well you get the picture. Now then. Here's the thing about Pecans. The Goatmother grew up in Oklahoma where pecans are native. Not so here, so she refuses to part with any good ones. In fact, what you can get here are such sorry excuses for pecans, that she sends away to the Mid-West to get them. You see how it is. :(

Mrs. Micawber said...

The Goatmother is wise to hold on to her pecans - they cost an arm and a leg! (And are so delicious - it's a tossup for me whether pecans or cashews are the best nut going.)

I never really liked Twinkies, but those Hostess Cup Cakes with the peelable chocolate frosting that tasted like fudge? You betcha. Probably just as well my mom never bought any for us. And come to think of it, I had a strange weakness for those little six-packs of tiny donuts - especially the ones covered with waxy chocolate. ("The chocolate coating makes it go down easier," as they say in Princess Bride.) :)

Candy C. said...

I think it was time for them to become extinct. But I really won't be surprised if all those workers end up back to work sometime this week! ;)

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
I suppose I may never know the answer to the question pecans or cashews? On the other hand, the Goatmother may be more likely to let go of a few Cashews so I might at least have a goat of a chance there. And, I don't know for sure, but perhaps you have a bit of a chocolate addiction? I'm just sayin' ... :)

Marigold said...

Dear Candy,
I am afraid I must agree with you on this being the opportune time for extinction of the Hostess cakes. I have to say,though, that I DO so wish you are right about the workers finding themselves employed again this week!