"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Mathematically Speaking

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!!! It rained again last night. It rained again this morning. Then a rainbow appeared and the sun came out. The goatmother marched herself out to the barn, threw open the barn door and said, "You guys have been in the barn for two days! You're going to get Barn Fever if you stay in here any longer! You need to get some fresh air!" I just looked at her. "I don't think so, Tim."

One measly rainbow and one ray of sunshine does not a nice day make. I prefer to believe the Woolly Boogers. Remember the Woolly Boogers? Those little guys are phenomenal! They know what they are about. The Woolly Boogers said it was going to be a wild ride and a wild ride it has been! Gotta' love those Woolly Boogers. I was right. They were right. It clouded over and rained some more. Oh, yes, I am wise.

Which all leads me to my theorem. Yes, it is a theorem and not a just theory because it is all based on mathematics. You see, during this two, and now three day sojourn in the barn, I have begun to notice something. This is what I noticed: A goat is asked to move. Said goat, seeing this as an imposition, reluctantly moves, but in the process butts another goat the hay out of the way. This goat, in turn, butts the next goat and so on and so forth. It is much like the famous Domino Affect, but involves goats instead of dominoes. So, mathematically speaking, this means: GM1 x OG1 = MG2 = etcetera ad infinitum. That is to say: GoatMother1 x ObstinateGoat1 = MovingGoats2, and so on and so forth to infinity (or as many goats as are present to butt the hay out of the way). This phenomenon shall hereafter be known as the Capricornus Affectation Theorem. See what happens when a muy intelligent mind has too much time on its hands?

4 comments:

goatfarmer said...

Ah, the hands of the mind! Working hard! Peeling potatoes in the pantry of the mind! Go hands! Go mind! Go Marigold! Euclid got NOTHING on you!

The Sweet Pea said...

Marigold, Marigold,
you are always thinking,
good buddy!!!
I fully intend to try out
your Capricornus Affectation
Theorem on the Dirty Sisters. Bhaaaa haaaaa haaaa

Marigold said...

Dear Pea,
One does not need to 'try out' the Capricornus Affectation Theorem. One just needs simply to let it flow.

The Sweet Pea said...

O'k, good buddy....
I'll let it flow, let it flow,
let it flow.....