"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Friday, September 5, 2008

Alien Craft Revealed

While contentedly munching grass on the morning of September 5, 2008, we looked up to see, hidden in the bushes, a most sinister sight. An alien craft of unknown origin was spotted in Area 51 of our farm. Now you might wonder why the hay we have an Area 51 on our farm. Let it suffice to say that it all has to do with the presence of certain plants growing in certain areas, and just where, in relation to those areas, the Peanuts are located. Area 51 or not, here, undoubtedly, was the mechanism responsible for the mysterious designs of a circular nature recently encountered. Oh, yes, Roswell has absolutely nothing on us!

Upon closer examination, it was determined that the vehicle in question was being 'manned' (or would it be alienned?) by something or someone. A strange insect-like emblem was noted on the side of the monstrosity, and it was further noted that the alien pilot sported an odd green head with large, knobby red ears. We were all fearful at this point. Watson fainted.

In the end, it turned out our fears were unfounded. Instead of being hidden away inside some Hangar 18, our alien craft was piloted under the overhang of the shop. And, as it turned out, the alien pilot was none other than the goatfather wearing his beloved John Deere cap and a pair of red ear protectors. Oy. Instead of the Unholy Thirteen, we had only the Uninformed Five to control the situation. Really. Where is Mulder when you need him?

Nevertheless, I am wont to consider the possibility that perhaps this was not the goatfather after all. Perhaps it was an alien in disguise and he really was piloting a UFO. Indeed all five of us saw the same thing and arrived at the same conclusion. As a student of Phaedrus I feel compelled to point out, "Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden..." And just who, after all, is more intelligent than a goat?

1 comment:

Kathryn and Ari said...

That machine looks terrifying--worse than a vacuum, in our humble opinion!