"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Friday, September 12, 2008

Philosophically Country


My name is Marigold. People look at me and say 'Here comes trouble.' After all, Trouble is my middle name. But the way I see it, it takes one to know one. Really, people ought to be more careful about what they say since you cain't never tell which way the pickle's gonna' squirt.

Now I live in the country. To be exact, it's down yonder in the holler. You might think that's a purty fur piece from anywhere important, but really it's only about as far as two mop handles and a long string. Why shucks in a bucket!!! It's as purty as a speckled pup here and very safe. Why it's as safe as if you were in Abraham's back pocket and him fixin' to sit down!

And now summer is starting to wind down here. It has been quite warm during the day, but at night it's been colder than frogs' legs. Of course that don't amount to a hill of Peanuts in the long run, 'cuz Fall is just around the corner and we'll be there before the goats come home.

Ah, Fall. Fall, when the temperatures cool and the winds begin to blow. Of course when the wind blows it often blows the barn door shut. No matter, because everyone knows when one door shuts, another one opens - that is unless the goatmother is having one of her less-than-perceptive, forgot-to-take-my-ginkgo days. Days when she comes in yelling, "Were you born in a barn!?" Why, yes, I was, thank you very much. Nonetheless, we never hold it against her. After all, she is in charge of the Peanuts, and it doesn't pay to look a gift goatmother in the mouth. Sometimes she drops a few and naturally I feel that a Peanut in the hand is worth two on the floor, but I tend not to sweat the small stuff. I find life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. Of course I prefer to stand on the stumps, but that is another matter entirely.

So here my introspection comes to an end. In parting, remember to always revere your Peanuts. Peanuts are 'happy' food and everyone knows you are what you eat. Remember to always keep skunks and bankers (and Alpines) at a distance, and always save a Peanut for a rainy Fall day. See ya' in a fair shake. Sleep tight. Don't let the haybugs bite. And above all, never go skinny dipping with snapping turtles.


Marigold, Oy and out.


4 comments:

goatfarmer said...

Holy Cow, Marigold! Wattle you say next??!!

Kathryn and Ari said...

Goodness, Marigold. These autumnal days certainly bring out the folk wisdom in you. We're more fit to be tied than a hog at his own barbeque after reading this post!

goatfarmer said...

Marigold I had to read your hillbilly lament one more time. I thought I dreamed it the first time. Holy Grecian Urn, you really tied one on.

Marigold said...

Dear goatfarmer,
That would be 'hill nanny' lament. Plus, I was not tied up at all.