The Lord of the Wings - The Two Terrors

So if you are just now tuning in, you will be hopelessly lost.  Just kidding.  You'll just have to go back and read Part I.  So, then, on with our story ...

Now it happened that simply everyone in Equidistant-Earth began searching for The Partnership - even American Idol (What?!  How many times have you seen obscure people on that show?).  There were those whose allegiance to the evil Ellaron forced them into unwavering resolve.  They would find THE ONE PEANUT.  Frodigold and WatWise stuck to the shadows. (And believe me, it was really difficult getting unstuck.) But each time an enemy drew near, THE PEANUT called to them (much like Wheat Chex call to the Goatfather in the dead of night.)  Ever onward trudged the valiant pair, though the weight Frodigold bore began to take a toll on her delicate countenance.

As ill luck would have it, the leader of the wizardly sect to which Goatfather, the Grey,  belonged, Quinnurman, the Brown and White, was corrupted by the evil Ellaron.  She offered him a position herding all the unsuspecting goats of Equidistant-Earth, and in his lust for power, he was lost.  He began building an unholy, unbeatable army, terrible in sheer number alone.  These were no ordinary warriors, but the most elite eating force on earth, the Urduck-hai.  Fierce they were, yet sadly lacking in intelligence and driven by a wantonness for corn heretofore unknown.  Quinnurman had only to offer them Iowa and they were unquestioningly in his thrall.

Frodigold and WatWise GoshOgee now feared from two fronts, that of Ellaron in MoorDoors and Quinnurman at HerdnGuard.

"Wat, ... "
"What?"
"No, Wat ..."
"What?!"
"Oy.  Never mind.  Where are we?  Wait!  Did you hear that?"

Suddenly a grizzly form appeared from the shadows. Frodigold and WatWise froze.  It was the creature, Goatmother.  In reality, she was drawn there by the deep need for her cherrr-ishhh-ed, but it would never do to let these purloiners know.  After all, had they not stolen the cherrr-ishhh-ed from her?  Instead she feigned friendship and told the pair she would show them the way to MoorDoors.  An unholy alliance was struck.

In the meantime, deep in the forest outside HerdnGuard, an unlikely ally appeared in the form of a tannish ball of fuzz with legs - Cabrarwen Underfoot.  Cabrarwen, having heard of Quinnurman's fall to the dark side, set about trying to persuade the vacuous BooBeard to launch an attack on HerdnGuard.  BooBeard, long having given up piracy in favor of leading an itinerant band of Nubians, had long dwelled within the shelter of NoHorn forest. Spurred to action by Cabrarwen's persuasive and eloquent pleas, BooBeard and her minions started fervently toward HerdnGuard and promptly forgot where exactly they were going and what exactly they were supposed to do when they got to where they didn't know they were going.  Cabrarwen redoubled her efforts and set about redirecting the hapless horde. Much repetition and rolling of the eyes was involved, but eventually the band reached HerdnGuard and managed, somehow, to bring the citadel to its knees.  The fact that sheer bulk was involved goes without saying.  Einstein was right.  The energy of the material IS indeed equal to the MASS of that material times the speed of light squared.  ( E = mc² )  (Although nothing remotely approaching the speed of light occurred in this case.)

Meanwhile, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, unaware of all that was being done to ensure their progress, continued their arduous journey ...

Please stay tuned for Part III, Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing