"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Friday, April 20, 2012

Change

It is very hard to teach an old goat new tricks.  Not only that, but old goats don't usually like new tricks in the first place.  And yet the world seems single-minded in its determination to foist change on us no matter whether we like it or not - force being the operative word here.  I am a strong subscriber to the theory that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Why change a good thing?  Just because somebody needs something new to do?  Just because some crank in the gears complained about some problem that was only relevant to them?  Or maybe it is because the world is money driven, thereby creating a false assumption that 'change' equals keeping ahead of the competition.  Proponents of change will tell you this is 'progress', but somehow those changes, more often than not, result in increased complications rather than greater ease.  Is that progress? Oh, what a tangled web we weave ...

So what's a goat to do?  Well, I've come up with a few solutions.  Maybe they aren't solutions, per se, but they may manage to make you at least feel better.

Rule No. 1 - Ignore the change.  This works pretty well.  For example, suppose you are merrily chomping away out in the pasture and some Alpine decides that your place looks like a much better place to eat than the one she is currently occupying.  She has decided that a change is in order.  One you aren't going to like.  Ignore her.  Turn the other cheek, so to speak, even if it is one of the rear ones.  As a matter of fact, one of the rear ones is likely the better choice.  Whatever you do, don't make eye contact.  She may lose interest because she can't see the intimidation in your eyes. On the other hand, ignoring doesn't always work because most of the time the ignoree is bigger than you and may choose brute force as an alternative.  Still,  unless the ignoree is an ignoramus, ignoring is still the best method to try first.  Plus, there is always this.  No one likes to be forced into anything.  Force often results in anger, which may, in turn, result in an additional charge of adrenalin, which may, in turn, grant you some of that super-strength you read about where mothers lift cars off their kids and that kind of thing.  Likely you could get a cape after that, the mere sight of which would remind them to leave you the hay alone.  At any rate, no matter what the change, always try ignoring first.

Rule No. 2 - Grin and bear it.  Although this is certainly an alternative when faced with change, I don't really recommend it.  First of all, where is your chutzpah?  Are you going to take this lying down?  Not me.  You see, goats really don't have a lot of control in their lives.  I mean we have to rely on someone to give out the Peanuts when they feel like it.  We are fenced in, in more ways than one. So, naturally, if you don't have a lot of control in your own life, change can really make you angry because it is yet another example of things somebody else decided for you.  Hey, I want to decide!  So if you take the tack of just grinning and bearing it, you are just perpetuating the giving-up-control scenario.

On the other hand, if, instead of grinning and bearing it, you say 'No!  I'm NOT going to do this!', once in awhile, those around you will grumble for awhile, but eventually they get used to the new and improved you.  For example, let us go back to that scene in the pasture with the pushy Alpine.  First you ignore her, but that doesn't seem to work, so she comes at you.  The thing to do is to whirl around and shout 'NO!' (or BAAAAAAAH! works too) at the top of your lungs.  That stupid Alpine will likely be so shocked you dared to defy her, she will probably stop dead in her tracks while her feeble mind tries to process what just happened here.  Then she'll turn and start grumbling under her breath to anyone that will listen about how you've never done this before, and what is wrong with you already?, and how dare you think of questioning her!  The point is, it will result in your not having to accept the intended change.  Yes, you could have just accepted it and gone on, but that would just result in more work for you and why should you always be the one who has to accommodate someone else.  This is why I don't highly recommend Rule No. 2.

Rule No. 3 - Butt it!  You may remember that this was the primary rule for when life gets in the way.  What can I say?  It's an all-purpose kind of rule.  It works.  You could apply this one to that pushy Alpine above, or you could apply it in a situation with any not-so-bright Nubian that happens to have sheer bulk on her side and can easily squash you if you don't get out of the way.  Or what about that short little Nigerian who tries to convince you he is smarter than you and therefore KNOWS that the change is good for you?  Meet them head on, I say!  You have rights!    Even if your reason is that you simply do not like change, it is your right to feel that way.  No one else has the right to tell you what you should or shouldn't feel - what you DO or DO NOT feel!  And if it doesn't work to meet them head to head, well, then slam them in the butt when they aren't looking!  (That's what that little smarter-than-thou Nigerian does.)

Okay, well, sometimes maybe it just isn't worth all the effort.  But on the other hand, how much effort are you expending having to make all those prescribed changes?  Why can't there ever be a status quo?  I don't want to stagnate, but I can certainly think of lots more fun ways to spend my precious time than in making unnecessary, unwarranted and unacceptable changes.  What about you?


"All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward." - Ellen Glasgow



16 comments:

Mrs. Micawber said...

Would this have anything to do with the new Blogger interface? And if so, what approach do you think works best?

I haven't come up against it yet myself - the new interface I mean - I have been practicing Rule #1 by ignoring the "Blogger is Getting a New Look in April - Upgrade Now" button on my dashboard.

I suppose eventually they'll force it on us all, giving us no option but to collectively moon our monitors. (How else could we turn the other cheek to a computer program?)

Marigold said...

Why, Mrs. Micawber! Why in the world would you think this had anything to do with that? :0 I, too, followed Rule No. 1, just as you did. But this morning, there it was, uninvited and unappreciated. I am not sure which is the best rule to follow. I believe, since No. 1 did not work, and No. 2 is not really recommended, we are left with No. 3, eh? I do, INDEED, like your option. Perhaps we should adopt it as Rule No. 4?

J (marshmallow fanny) said...

If you get rid of the vowels, CHANGE is a four letter word. I think that says it all.

Now onto mooning the monitor....

Marigold said...

Ah, J! A woman after my own part...heart. Heart! Come on and join Mrs. Micawber and I in our Braveheart-esque salute!

edenhills said...

It kills me. Blogger is making changes to be more like Wordpress, and Wordpress makes changes to be more like Blogger. They are both driving me crazy. Why can't they just stay true to themselves and let people choose instead of annoying everyone?

Marigold said...

Oy. You mean WordPress is doing the same thing? I was actually thinking about moving to WordPress! Me? I'm crazy enough without any help from the Peanut gallery. Oh, wait! Peanuts wouldn't do that kind of thing.

"Auntie" sezzzzzz... said...

Mmmmmm, Dear Marigold! Please. How do I BUTT Blogger?!?!?!?!

Marigold said...

Dear Auntie,
How indeed. 'Tis a puzzlement since Blogger is kind of an ethereal entity. :)

Faith said...

Ha, ha....I too was going with rule no1 feeling smug, wondering when in April it would be, but it's not to be any longer as it seems, April has arrived in bloggers book, and new interface it is....I see there is still an option for old interface...haven't tried that though...


Butt it I say....the answer to it all!

Have a good week marigold!

Marigold said...

Dear Faith,
It would seem that you can go back for now, but eventually we will all have to accept the new. Oy.

Snowcatcher said...

Although I really got a kick out of your post and the options for dealing with this pain in the... behind... on the home screen, near the top right corner, there is a little gear. Click on it, and toward the bottom of the drop-down menu, you can go back to the old interface...

Don't know how long they'll keep the button there, but it's there for now, and you can bookmark the pages you like from that menu and still go back to them, or, well, at least I can...

Marigold said...

Dear Snowcatcher,
Yes, well, we were given to understand that even though you can go back now, eventually all will be as one, so to speak. A losing battle, so may as well get used to it I suppose. I lived through this post anyway ... :)

Josh said...

Not sure how I wound up here but the pic of the goat in your header somehow drew me in, even though goats usually annoy me. Awesome thoughts, I agree with #3 completely. The post before this one is pretty spot on too. Great posts, looking forward to more.

Marigold said...

Dear Josh,
So glad you stopped by! Yes, No. 3 seems to be very popular. :)

Kelly said...

I personally like the "butt it" rule best.
As far as Blogger.... I wish they would stop changing things. I don't like change anymore. I think I'm getting old and stuck in my ways. Happy Day to all.

Marigold said...

Dear Kelly,
Why is it No. 3 seems to attract such favor? Although I have to admit it is a really good rule.