"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Spring is in the 'Air' - Literally

As you can see, spring is in the air. Now if you look quite closely, you can see me in that group by the barn. You are perhaps wondering why it is I look so tall? That would be because we have a most bodacious stack of concrete blocks in the middle of our 'yard'. Mostly whoever is on the top at any given moment is in charge. This happened to be my moment.

Now, if you look even more closely, you can see that my ears are extending sideways a la mode d'airplaine. There is a reason for this. I have decided to become the very first goat aviatrix. I am sure I can do this. Why, you ask? Let's just say 'the grass is always greener...'.

So my plan is to glide right over the fence to that patch of luscious green spring grass right over the west fence. I mean, really! There is alfalfa growing there. But first there are a few logistics I have to work out.

I am sure my svelte caprine body is aerodynamically sound. No problem there. But then there is a small question of 'center of gravity'. I will admit I may have had just a tad too many Peanuts to make this feasible. I mean I guess I have to admit I'm no ultralight. But I have worked out the correct pitch, which is the nose angle, and the most advantageous ear angle - not dihedral and not anhedral, but angled just enough to produce the proper stability in light of my center of gravity issues. I have the flight level calculated to rise just enough to clear the electric wire at the top of the fence. I will need to observe visual flight rules since I don't have access to any instrumentation - unless you can count a rake. Those coyotes are going to be SO envious!

Now there is a matter of thrust. I've been working on this one. I think I can antagonize Ella just enough to come running at me when my next 'moment' happens on the concrete block mountain. She can deliver some pretty awesome power if you give her a little encouragement - like telling her ALL the Peanuts are mine! That should do it.

So I just need to bide my time and wait for the next breezy day to add a little lift into the mix. I've checked and my tail rudder is in good working order. You know, it takes a superior mind to realize what can be created from something so mundane as a stack of plain old concrete blocks. A launching pad. Who knew?

1 comment:

Robyn said...

Once again Marigold, I am amazed at your forethought, and careful planning of every eventuality!

I should love to see pictures of you in flight!

Funny how those model types only have one thing on their minds!

Wishing you the best of luck!