"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Sunday, April 22, 2007

A Commentary on the Cinema

Have you ever noticed that there are NO movies about goats? What's up with that? I have been standing on my stump thinking about this, and I have been unable to come up with a single movie involving goats. Of course there are a few with the word 'Goat' in the title, but are they really about goats? The answer to that question would be 'No'. This is abominable! This is flat out discrimination. What are goats supposed to do for entertainment anyway? Just stand around and eat all day? Absurd! We have intellectual needs!

There is one movie, however, that has a goat in it. Gordon the Goat, in fact. Never mind the fact that Gordon thinks he is a smelly old dog - he is still a goat! This movie is 'Sir Billi the Vet' (my favorite movie), and you can find out a little more about it here.

Now this is an outstanding tale, even if it does involve saving a beaver. At least it isn't a mountain beaver. But the best part? Well, Sir Billi is none other than Sir Sean Connery, the Scottish actor. For someone with only two legs he's quite a comely old goat, don't you think? I mean he can chew the alfalfa with me anytime. I'd share my Peanuts with that guy. He even has a beard! No horns, mind you, but a beard to be sure! (swoon...)

I suppose with my superior mind, I could, perhaps, come up with a winning idea for a movie about goats. I wonder if I could interest Mr. Connery in a part? Maybe something like County Extension Agent, Capra Bond, 007 1/2. Michty Me!
"Whit are ye mollachin aboot, Marigold?" Get out there on tha' stump and be t' practicin' rollin' y' R's!


The Sweet Pea said...

Dear Marigold.....
I'll have to check that flic out sometime.
However, de donna has made
lots of movies starring none other than moi !! Of course these are " B " movies, but don't tell her that!! Geeze! She can't seem to get that camera to stay focused! First it's a shot of the ground, a flashing of trees and then, Boogie's tail! But, at least it is a full length movie of we capricorns!! Tell the goatmother to buy a video camera!!! That way you can have your own " B " grade movies of Ella, Boo, and your magnificant self. And, please......get the goatfather to take some video of the goatmother in that snow saucer thing next winter....perhaps chasing dear Watson ( your future fainting goat ) instead of Ella. Now, Marigold, that would be one great movie!!

goatfarmer said...

But Marigold! My farmer is making a movie about goats. You can go to this site and see a short documentary about the farmer's documentary. Go here and scroll down until you see "Season 7 Program Archive". Then scroll down there until you see "National Goat Show" in the archive, then click on that. Click this link. It is chock full of beautiful goats.