"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Few, The Proud, The Confused


What's this? This is but one in the never-ending chain of confused creatures that seem to frequent our residence. This is a Canadian goose. Now I willingly admit that, from the air, the front deck of the house might be mistaken for a body of water. It is sort of blue. But really. It doesn't look that much like water, does it? I mean, you could tell the difference, couldn't you?


Now at the same time the first goose was down on the deck trying to tread water, this second goose was on the roof honking for all it was worth. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this was the female goose and the one on the deck was the male. You are, no doubt, wondering how it is I could make such a distinction in light of the fact that I am a goat and not fluent in any form of goose dialect. Elementary, my dear Watson! For one, the goose on the roof was the one doing all the talking. It stands to reason that this would be the female since it is a well known fact that the female of any species has an often misunderstood inclination toward verbosity. That is not to say that this is a bad thing. Witness myself. Superb eloquence in action.

But this reasoning aside, the fact is that the goose on the roof was undoubtedly attempting to convince the one on the deck this was decidedly not the pond across the highway. Which leads me to the second reason I was able to determine the sex of the goose on the deck. Doesn't everyone know that males never, but never, ask for directions? And that, my dear Watson, is most assuredly THAT!

1 comment:

The Sweet Pea said...

Dear Marigold,
not to worry!!
Simply do not allow the
goatmother to build any
decks around your
barn and insist that your
stanchion, stump amd other
such surfaces, not be painted blue/gray like everything else!
This is why I requested a red barn!