"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Case of the Terribly Traumatized Tree

Hello, everyone! Watson here! Never fear. This case shall be solved with effortless efficiency by none other than myself (not to mention with as little fainting as possible). You are probably wondering how it is I actually got to contribute to this blog, but I assure you, all shall be revealed in due time.

Now then. What we see above is what the goatmother encountered recently within our 'shrubby' pasture. As you can see, the unfortunate tree in question has been torn in two rather large patches, one up and one down, by some dastardly, unknown assailant. At first we thought to blame those sad, appearance-challenged Mountain Beavers (Aplodontia rufa - please see previous post here) since they are predisposed to gnawing down vegetation (particularly lovingly placed seedlings). However, after some exhaustive investigation (with no help, I might add), I came to the conclusion that however voracious, Mountain Beavers are usually only prone to destroying small prey. This was, in fact, a rather large tree.

So, I began to think that perhaps something was crossing our borders at night, despite the thorough and unrelenting surveillance being done by the Homegoat Security Team. Everyone seemed to concur with this hypothesis. Perhaps it was a flying coyote (he would have to be in order to get through the electric fence...either that or one very macho canine). Perhaps it was some odd human who had developed a fetish for only certain trees, or some itinerant bark collector. Or maybe, just maybe, it was some sort of bark beetle, along with it's entire extended family, gone mad with bark lust. Alas, it could be any one of these.

But the case came to a swift and succesful conclusion a couple of days ago. I solved it. I AM the man!!!! Thusly, you will see why it is I, alone, am recounting this tale to you. One picture, my friends, is worth considerably more than a thousand words in this case.

To quote someone I know... Oy. And that, Scully and Mulder, is most assuredly that!

5 comments:

goatgirl said...

Watson, is that Marigold's backside?

Kathryn and Ari said...

We caninaturalists are positively giddy reading your latest post (and trying hard to remember our inductive and deductive reasoning skills from a formal logic course taken so long ago). Your investigative prowess puts us to shame, and we kneel at the hooves of your applied reasoning and ecology. Bravo!

PS- Flying coyotes? Oh, were such a thing possible. Could there be a more perfect animal? We think not.

Gus and Louie said...

That is one nervy goat. What does he think he is doing?
Sure glad you solved the mystery..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus and Louie

Mellimaus said...

Hello! Just found your blog, your goats are so cute! As for the tree chewing, I have a horse, and just 2 posts ago I posted about the SAME THING! Except, in my case, it's not 2 little shreds, it's the entire tree that doesn't have bark. ;-)
Glad I found your blog!

deconstructingVenus said...

Oh thats a naughty goat. Shame shame.