"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Here's The Thing...

Hey, Ho! Peanut here! I am writing today because Auntie Marigold is dealing with a bad case of hoofle-tunnel syndrome as a result of recent voting efforts in the Goat of the Year contest over at Herron Hill, our old home. As you probably know, the poll ended in a tie between my lovely (albeit, sadly, too-nicely-behaved) sister, Cora Belle, and the dark goat candidate, Winne the Soprano. Granted I may not be as intelligent as my Auntie Marigold, but I would like to point out that there is just something amiss with the results of this contest.

For starters, Auntie Marigold was placing her *vote* when all of a sudden Winnie, who had been dead last, suddenly shot to over 1,000 votes. Apparently if you are a member of the Soprano family you can do this sort of magic. FM, I believe it is called (Fantastic Magic). Far be it from me to question the methods of any bona fide member of the *machine*, but really. Over 1,000 votes in the space of time it takes to make one vote?

So then, Cora Belle still managed to come within winning range once again. Now here is where I can swear there was a problem. I, myself, was placing my one vote when the vote button suddenly disappeared and I was not allowed to place my vote. The poll had apparently ended. At this time I was able to capture a screen shot of the results. as you see below:

For those of you who need glasses, I have enlarged the important part:

Well, my goodness gracious! What does this show? The voting ended with the lovely Cora Belle winning by a mere one vote! AH, HA!

All, I can say is I suppose it pays to be a member of the Soprano family (or a close paid associate thereof). Perhaps the firm of Cheatoff and Prosper was bought? Could it be? I guess we will never know. After all, I suppose it is the American way. No doubt that's how we ended up with shrubbery in the White House.

At any rate, I just want to say that we, the people (or goatles) know the truth. Remember, Winnie, crime does not pay. Eventually, someone tougher or smarter comes along and with one butt, you're back where you started. Until then, you just keep right on singing, 'I did it myyyyy waaaaay.'

CORA BELLE IS NO. 1!!!!!! But don't worry, sis. I can tell you no one EVER looks at the front of the calendar anyway.


Melodie said...

Scandalous !!! That is the way the political game is played! Maybe they will make a mini series about this whole sordid affair and play it on RFD TV! I would watch!

goatgirl said...

Really, Cora Belle is happy to share the limelight with Winnie. In fact she plans on stepping aside and letting Winnie have the cover so she can be on February.

Marigold said...

Dear Melodie,
Excellent idea! Hmmmm...Dinnersty? Peanut Crest? Hoofas?

Marigold said...

Dear GoatGirl,
Please tell Cora Belle that is a good idea. Someone might actually see February. January they are still in a stupor from Christmas Peanut frenzy.