"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


So, yesterday, this year's baseball team arrived for Spring training. Yep. There were 9 as usual. They passed the day doing aquatic calisthenics, but this morning, when the goatmother came out to the barn, only one, lone, adult Mallard graced the banks of McQuackie Field. No doubt this was the assistant coach, so the goatmother proceeded to look all around, but the team was nowhere to be found. Hmmm. Sleeping in, I guess.

The goatmother went on to more important matters, like handing out Peanuts, when all of a sudden the Mighty Quinn broke loose with a round of 'there-is-definitely-something-there-and-you-better-get-the-hay-over-here-and-look' kind of barking. The goatmother dropped her bucket and ran halfway down the pasture to where the Mighty Quinn and Cabra were. Lo and behold, Coach Mom was on the other side of the fence with the team. What they were doing so far away from McQuackie Field is anyone's guess, but the goatmother ushered the Mighty Quinn and the Cabrarator back up to the house. Then she went back to open the gate so the coach would have a clear path to the field.

As the goatmother approached the fence, she thought she saw something move. She did a double take, and focused her peepers to where she thought she'd seen the movement. Ayiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!

Squad 51, this is Rampart! Informant reports youngster caught in fence. Please respond!

Rampart, this is Squad 51. Jaws-of-Life required to free victim. A short delay in communication while we make a run to the barn. (Oy. The goatmother running again. Will wonders never cease?)

Rampart, we have the Jaws-of-Life and are proceeding with caution ... Rampart, we have freed victim, but Coach and rest of team nowhere to be found. Please advise.

Squad 51, I see no recourse but to return victim to McQuackie Field.

Rampart, victim returned, but is running about helter-skelter and peeping wildly.

Squad 51, return to doling out Peanuts. Please.

By the time the goatmother finished in the barn, the wild peeping had ceased and the victim was seen on the banks of McQuackie Field with the Coach and the assistant Coach. How they plan to reunite the team remains a strategical mystery.

"I'm a rescue man.
I've trained to be a rescue man.
I like being a rescue man!" - John Gage, paramedic, 'Emergency'.


Millie said...

Oh, I hope everybody gets back to McQuackie Field safely!

Marigold said...

And again, my apologies to Mimi, as Blogger managed to lose this comment as well:

From Mimi:

Hmm. Well then, I guess TODAY'S post makes more sense to me now. lol :)

Kelly said...

Sometimes one must go back in history to understand the present.
Peanuts to everyone.