"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Cause

You know, since my last post I've been thinking. After all, it is what I do best. Anyway, I have been considering the plight of the egg. You may recall that the recipe the goatmother recently made called for 'beaten' eggs, so I started perusing recipes and found that indeed, this sort of occurrence is of an epic nature. I might go so far as to say it has reached epidemic proportions. Recipes all over the world are calling for eggs to be 'lightly' beaten, 'slightly' beaten, 'well' beaten and even 'stiffly' beaten. And this kind of behavior has been going on for centuries. Why has no one ever noticed? Oy.

As a result, I have decided to establish an organization which will endeavor to bring to light this travesty. The name of this organization shall heretofore be known as Goats Opposing the Abominable Treatment of Exemplary Eggs, otherwise known as G.O.A.T.E.E. We shall ask that eggs be treated in a more ethical manner such as 'gently folding'. Water boarding shall be absolutely prohibited. Eggs don't know anything worthwhile anyway.

I know. We all have to eat, you say. Ah, yes. But do we not have a responsibility to do that in the most inoffensive way possible? I mean I try to be as gentle as possible when it comes to getting The Holiest of Holies, The Blessed Peanut, down the old hatch where it belongs. So please. I beg you. Join me. Go forth armed with knowledge. Spread the word. The humble cackleberry deserves our devotion to cause. "However much I may sympathise with and admire worthy motives, I am an uncompromising opponent of violent methods even to serve the noblest of causes." - Mahatma Gandhi


Claire the Shepherdess said...

Long live the noble hen fruits. I shall endeavour to be more gentle with them and pass on these wise learnings!

Tayet Silverspoon said...

Sadly, I am guilty of beating many eggs. I love scrambled eggs and in making them, I must beat them. From now on, I promise to beat them much more gently and carefully.


Claire the Shepherdess said...

Hi Marigold,
My lady said I could answer your question here about what kind of goat I am. I am a pythagorus...no wait... I'm a python...errr... oh dear. Oh, my lady says I'm a pygora. This is because my mom was a pygmy and my dad was an angora. Here is the old post where I tell everybody about being a pythonagorawhatsit.

Lisa T. said...

Don't forget the deplorable actions commited on "Battered" fish and "Whipped" cream. It's tragic. Tragic.

Kelly said...

We have scrambled eggs often on the farm. Would it be okay to beat them if we apologize afterward?

Marigold said...

Dear Kelly,
I suppose it all depends on how forgiving your eggs are.

J said...

Beaten eggs (whether light, slight, well, or stiff), battered fish, whipped cream...no words, only tears.

Stop the cruelty. PLEASE!

Sobbing and inconsolable.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Cackle fruit: It deserves our respect.

(I'm more of a scrambler myself......)