"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

No 'Rest' For the Wicked

Hi! My name is Peanut! You are probably wondering why I get to write in Auntie Marigold's blog. Well, I think it is because I'm related. I also think it is possibly because I don't like Peanuts.

Auntie Marigold is taking a small 'rest' today. You are probably wondering why Auntie Marigold needs a rest. Well, Auntie Marigold has been having a few problems lately regarding a couple of groups she is in. One is called the 'MBA' and the other is called the 'NBA'. The first one is to help her not to be so crabby with Watson. The second one is to help her not to be so crabby with me .

But Auntie Marigold is taking a 'rest' today to hopefully help 'analyze' her newest problem. In fact, she's out on her stump right now dissecting it all bit by bit. I think she is contemplating joining a new group called the 'BA'. Between you and me, I don't think she's doing very well. It all started, you see, some time back. Perhaps you remember one day when the goatmother was leaning over to do some chore and Auntie Marigold reached over and bit her? That was only the beginning. Since then, every time the Sacred Peanuts are not forthcoming, Auntie Marigold begins to have thoughts of a mordacious nature. Well, it seems that the day before yesterday, the neighbor came to visit. He actually came to see me, (I am kind of cute, if I do say so myself). After visiting with me and watching Watson start to faint due to the proximity of the standard poodle, the neighbor stood around in the big pen chatting with the goatmother and the goatfather. He was quite focused on the conversation. No Peanuts were forthcoming. Auntie Marigold lost control. This is why she is considering joining Biter's Anonymous. Pretty soon maybe she'll have a group for every day of the week. That should top some kind of record, don't you think?

So, yes, today Auntie Marigold is taking a 'rest'. I can tell you, there is a lot of soul-searching going on atop that stump. Even Ella is afraid to go near her. This situation doesn't bode at all well for me. My mother has spent a lot of time in the horse trailer, time-out jail cell because she is overly fond of defying attempts to keep her corraled. (You can read about one such recent incident here.) Now Auntie Marigold is biting? Maybe, just maybe, if I work really hard, I can make sure I follow in my father's footsteps. His side of the family seems a lot less 'intense'.


goatfarmer said...

Auntie Marigold needs to get a good squirt of water in the face every time she bites somebody. That will show her the way to the True Path of more-peanuts-through-peace-and-harmony.

Also your mother has been framed several times, Peanut, and just because she was found standing in the aisle next to the tipped-over grain barrel and possibly choosing a few morsels from the spillage which otherwise would probably have gone to waste anyway, that does not mean she knocked over the barrel. She is very civic-minded and always stops to clean up spilled cob when she sees it marring the pristine walkways of our barn.

And don't forget who stayed up all night keeping you alive when you were six hours old, young man.

And by the way you look very handsome.

Marigold said...

Dear Foster-Momma goatfarmer,
I will tell the goatmother what you said about the squirt in the face for Auntie Marigold. As for my momma, well, she always did get the benefit of the doubt. I will ALWAYS remember when I was 6 hours old and never, NEVER forget my Momma-goatfarmer! By the way, did you notice my collar is red-hot chili peppers? Apropos, don't you think?

goatfarmer said...


The Sweet Pea said...

Your blog had been
usurped by a peanut?
Oh, Marigold, Marigold....
I must help you out of this
jam!! Must place some conference calls to you and
lend you some advise.
We just have to get you through all your programs and then we shall get my good buddy back to running this blog!!
Support is on the way!!
The Sweet Pea.
The Dirty Sisters think
Peanut is cute!