"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Great Acquisition

Oh, my goat! OH, MY GOAT! This is just *too* much! If I had panties, they'd be in a bunch! If a goat can have a cow, I just might!!! Great Good Goat God Pan! - We are getting ANOTHER goat!!! As if it weren't bad enough already, now I will be expected to share my hay and my Sacred Peanuts with yet another mouth? Oy. What is the world coming to. I think the goatmother must have had a lobotomy when she was in that hospital with the goatfather!

Still, as I hear it, the goat that is coming to join us is actually my nephew so he can't be all bad, can he? No doubt he will be quite refined in his demeanor. Although, he is the son of my half-sister, Hannah Belle Lecter, which doesn't, in itself, speak too well for him. Hannah Belle is a full Nigerian handful. But this little fellow's father is Captain January, who is quite the gentleman. I am sure he will have gotten those genes.

We are told his name is 'Peanut' and that he is the smallest baby ever born on the farm where I, myself, was born. He is said to be the poster child for The Miracle Network since he wasn't expected to live beyond his first night. So, as far as I'm concerned, Peanut has two pluses in his favor. 1) He is related to me. 2) His name is 'Peanut' and how can you go wrong with a name like that??? At any rate, if you would like to read more about Peanut, you can go to the site of my friend, Baby Belle, here, and read all about Peanut's difficult and humble beginnings. Just do a 'search' for his name and Belle will tell you all about it. Belle is quite eloquent and loquacious. One simply need be aware some bias may exist in her reports - something I never allow in my literary undertakings.

So there you have it. A crisis in the making if you look at it one way, but quite an opportunity if you look at it another. So, in the words of my old friend Parmenides, I say, "
Welcome, O youth, that come to my abode on the car that bears you tended by immortal charioteers! It is no ill chance, but right and justice that has sent you to travel on this way."