"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Friday, August 24, 2007

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Okay. I'm busted. This morning the goatmother let my handsome nephew, Peanut, in with us just to see what we would do. I failed. I failed miserably. I can't help it. I saw that cute little flag of a tail bouncing around the lot and I became blind with desire. My head went down and before I even realized what I was doing, I became unwittingly engaged in an all-or-none game of 'butt the bouncing boy'! Thank goodness he is fast.

I guess I'm faced with going back and reviewing all the steps of the MBA. Except, of course, now it is going to have to be those of the NBA as well. No, I'm not going to take up basketball, unless I really slip up and start butting those little guys through hoops. Nah. I'm just not tall enough. No, this NBA stands for Nigerian Butters Anonymous. I'll have to be a member of both associations. Oy. Do I have this much time?

You know I think it is highly unfair that Ella keeps coming out on top in this racket. She really doesn't have that much self control. It's just that she is more interested in making Peanut-points with the goatmother than anything else. If her nose weren't black and white, it would be brown, I tell ya'! Miss hoity-toity, jump-on-the-stand-and-get-your-feet-trimmed-every-time-without-a-fight!!! Really! Those points are upper-most in her mind, even though we have been without adequate rations for some time now. I don't understand how she can even think about anything other than food.

But, there you have it. I have tried to turn over a new flake of hay, but alas, my efforts have been unfruitful. I can but blame my wanton behavior on starvation. For as my hero, Sherlock Holmes would say, "
The faculties become refined when you starve them. Why, surely, as a doctor, my dear Watson, you must admit that what your digestion gains in the way of blood supply is so much lost to the brain. I am a brain, Watson. The rest of me is a mere appendix. Therefore, it is the brain I must consider." ( From The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone).

Signed,
Marigold, the appendix

1 comment:

goatfarmer said...

Marigold! Your mother would be shocked!