I'm sure no one has been keeping track, but come Monday the Goatmother is going for Round 3 with the champ. Okay, well, maybe not the champ, but on the other hand, if it gets rid of the evil 'C' monster it's a champ in my book and can have the ring, the big belt buckle and everything. Anyway, what this means is that tomorrow the Goatmother must take the steroids. Now, if you recall, the steroids turn the Goatmother into the Barry Bonds of cleaning and may actually qualify her for the Hall of Fame. Nothing is safe. But this time, the Goatmother thought she'd get a little head start. I mean why do it all in one day?
So first the dogs got a bath (See? I told you nothing was safe. And I can tell you it is a darned good thing the Goatfather is taking care of us goats right now, or we'd all be hiding.) Next there was laundry, finding a place to store her burgeoning hat collection, hanging the beautiful Snowcatcher snowflakes, deadheading the African Violets, a little light dusting, the dishes, etc. etc. etc. Then it came time to clean the bathrooms, which, of course, required some mirror cleaning. So the Goatmother reached into the cabinet and pulled out the blue bottle of Windex and headed for the bathroom. Now the bathroom mirror has three panels, so the Goatmother sprayed all three panels liberally and and began to wipe it off. Naturally the first swipe always leaves a film, so you have to go over it again with a dry paper towel to achieve that streak-free shine. She rubbed and rubbed, but for some reason that film just wasn't coming off. Hmmmm. "Must be because I grabbed those paper towels that were under the steam cleaner", she thought. So she dutifully got a fresh roll of paper towels and tore off a brand new one. She sprayed the three panels again and wiped it off just as before, but oddly the film seemed to have gotten even worse. This time when she used the second clean paper towel, that stubborn film just refused to do anything but smear around.
The Goatmother rubbed and rubbed, but her arms were beginning to get awfully tired. "Ah, ha!", thought she. "I will use rubbing alcohol like I do on my glasses!" So out came the rubbing alcohol liberally poured onto yet another clean paper towel. By this time, quite a pile of paper towels was beginning to build up on the counter. Let it never be said that the Goatmother is anything but completely thorough. No amount of paper towels is too large to expend when one is on a quest. But even the rubbing alcohol and more clean paper towels could not remove that film.
"What in the world is going on?", thought the Goatmother. And that was when the elevator finally made it to the top floor. The Goatmother looked at the blue bottle in her hand whose label had magically morphed from Windex to ... Oxi-Clean. For sure ain't no stains on that mirror.
So let this be a lesson to you. "The way to get ahead is to start now. While many of us are waiting until conditions are 'just right' before we go ahead, others are stumbling along, fortunately ignorant of the dangers that beset them. By the time we are , in our superior wisdom, decided to make a start, we discover that those who have gone fearlessly on before, have, in their blundering way, traveled a considerable distance. If you start now, you will know a lot next year that you don't know now, and that you will not know next year, if you wait." - William Feather.