You know, there are times. There are times when the sense of humor that keeps you afloat, evades you like the fragile, flighty butterfly it is. There are times when no matter how lucky you are, or how lucky you feel, the hard reality of it all comes crashing down on you like a thundering wave. Swallowing you up and making it hard to breathe. There are times when no matter how hard you try - to help, to be in control, to manage - you just can't. And you are tired. Sometimes so bone weary you think you'll never be able to manage another step forward, though forward is where you need to go because everyone is there waiting to see that you are somehow okay in spite of it all. They need to know. There are times when it hurts - physically, emotionally and spiritually. Times when you get up in the morning, look in the mirror to catch a glimpse of that person who used to be there looking back, but instead find yourself gazing at someone you barely recognize. There are times when you become mired in fear even though you know in your heart it isn't a good place to be. And sometimes those ugly 'what if's' grab at your heart and hold on, threatening to carry you away in a tsunami of doubt. There are times when all those half full glasses suddenly look half empty.
There are those times. They aren't much fun. Yet if one denies their existence, it only serves to somehow give them more power. In some odd quirk of fate, to acknowledge them makes it easier to let them go.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow" - Mary Anne Radmacher