"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Things We've Learned About Hair Loss

Well, here I am!  I apologize for not keeping up very well, and I have a lot of things to post about, too!  Plus no one ever said I don't have anything to say.  The word verbose comes to mind, but I much prefer to think of it as imparting important philosophical knowledge.  Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Anyway, the Goatmother took her steroids today in preparation for tomorrow's impending Round 2 with Evander HolyCrap, The Chemo Cancernator.  Steroids kind of make the Goatmother the Super Hero of House Cleaning.   But this morning, it didn't seem like they were going to affect her all that much.  It was kind of like her body said, 'Hey.  Is this the best you can do?  My granny hits harder than this.'  But as the day wore on,  the cleaning effect reared its ugly head.   In fact we ought to give the Goatmother a new Super Hero sobriquet -  ScrubbyWoman.  (That woman is going to have a whole closet full of lettered capes before this over.)  But the worst part is that her recent hair loss, coupled with her penchant for steroid-induced cleanliness, now has her running around the house babbling,  'Mr. Clean.  What a HUNK!'  Oy.

Anyway, that's why I haven't posted.  Have you ever tried to type with someone constantly trying to clean your keyboard and your screen?  How about your hooves?  (Yeah, she did that too.)  It ain't easy.  Plus, just watching her completely wears me out.  It's kind of like watching the EverReady bunny get ready to go on vacation, only you know she isn't going to have nearly as much fun when she actually gets where she's going.

Now then, on with the subject of this post!  You thought I forgot,  didn't you?  I don't think so, Tim.  So, things we've learned about hair loss:

1)   Jaimie Lee Curtis saves a lot of money on hair products.

2)   It doesn't take nearly as much time to get ready to go anywhere.  Who actually knew blow drying and styling took so much time?

3)   Chemotherapy drugs  only seem to like dark hair.  This leaves anyone with 'platinum blonde highlights' (Thank you, Annie, for letting me borrow that! :)) now a completely natural 'platinum blonde'.  Only trouble is you don't get to look like Lady GaGa.  More like Frank Sinatra as an old man.  Or one of those people from the Zombie movies.  We figure maybe all that 'platinum' stuff that is left is being saved for that Round 2 with Evanader .   Or maybe not.  Who knows?

4)   Hair loss from Chemotherapy gives a whole new meaning to the term 'Brazilian'.   And trust me, it has nothing at all to do with folks who live in Brazil.

5)   For awhile, it is worth considering purchasing a 'Furminator'.  Plus it becomes somewhat a matter of one-ups-manship as to who can actually leave more hair on the floor - the dog or the human.  In this case, the human won, hands down.  Oops.  Maybe that should be hairs down.

6)   Scarves and big hoop earrings are a good match.  As is a sideline in palm or Tarot reading.

7)   When you have no hair, it can become evident that your mother left you lying on your back as a baby faaaar too long.  Flathead is not just a Native American Indian tribe.

8)  (And certainly not least)  Mr. Clean is the BOMB!  (Okay.  You knew that was coming.  I tried to warn you.  Really, I did.)

Okay, so before I sign off, there are a couple more matters of business to attend to.  ( I know.  Never end a sentence with a preposition.  Deal with it. )  First, you may notice in my side bar, that I have been honored with a prestigious award from Mimi Foxmorton, the Goat Borrower!  This award is from the Sisterhood of the Goat and we are MORE than proud to receive it.  Thank you a thousand fold, Mimi.  We are humbled.

Second, I want to recognize a dear lady and her goats.  She is the shy and retiring type and has asked not to be named, but OH!, she so deserves to be!  Still, to honor her wishes, I will not name her, and tell you only that she sent the Goatmother, in the mail, from clear across the country, the most BEAUTIFUL sack full of luscious red potatoes grown in compost from her lovely band of goaties.  (She also included , for moi, a sack full of the most delicious organic sugar coated cereal.  Swoon ... )  Now we are all aware of the 'chicken and potato' fetish the Goatmother has recently acquired, so you can well imagine that even MORE Kleenex were killed when this package arrived.  Thank you, dear lady!  You have no idea how much the Goatmother appreciates your thoughtfulness. 

So, okay!  Time to see if the steroids will allow the Goatmother to stop cleaning and actually go to sleep.  Please stay tuned because I still have to tell you about the World's Greatest Medical Oncology Nurse, and the World's Greatest Lymphedema Therapist!  Both have graciously consented to be on this humble Goat's blog.  So coming up!  Same time, same station!

"Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs." - Alice, Alice In Wonderland


Faith said...

Bless you, hope all goes well with new round of medication, the steroids sound rubbish, but I guess necessary.

Be thinking of you me dear!

Mrs. Micawber said...

Oh dear yes, the prednisone-induced cleaning frenzy. It's like having someone with a whip behind you driving you on and on. But you get a lot done!

Good luck to the Goatmother today. What lovely gifts, and very well-deserved.

"Brazilian" - hilarious!

goatfarmer said...

Up Up and away! We salute the Supercleaning Goatmother!

"Auntie" sezzzzzz... said...

OK... Me.... "The Dense One" is here... She who didn't "get it" at first... About the cleaning. Not even Mr. Clean get through my foggggy brain...

My mind was stuck in the *room of the pottie.* That kind of 'cleaning out.' Oh sigh...

Well, steroid induced cleaning, using Mr. Clean, sure sounds better than what my fuzzy brain handed me, at first.

What a sweetheart, sent you her own grown potatoes! Wonderful.

About the hair loss, you already know my daughter's story. With the happy ending of her hair coming back in, in a simply lovely wavy way.

Yeah, the waves didn't last. But they were stunning for a while. :-)


"One ought, ever day at least, to hear
a little song, read a good poem, see a
fine picture, and, if it were possible,
to speak a few reasonable words."

~~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Teresa said...

Why don't I ever clean when I'm on prednisone? I could use some of that cleaning fanaticism. You are certainly most deserving of your award from the wonderful Miss Foxmorton! Blessings.

Queen Quattra said...

Sending goatie hugs and thoughts of the Supercleaning, Brazilian, Goatmother today!! :)
At least we know she'll be coming home to a nice clean barn..I mean house!!

Snowcatcher said...

I should put in an order for the Super Hero Goatmother to make a trip my way when she's super-powered...

I love your Alice in Wonderland quote. That fits my situation so well.

Hope all is well today. Know we are thinking about you.

Marigold said...

Dear Faith,
Yeah, those steroids are murder, but, yes, a necessary evil unfortunately. Thanks for thinking of us and for coming along on this journey! You go, tea cosy woman! :)

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
Well, yes, she really does need a cape. :) As for the Brazilian. Ha! No other way to describe it. But now why can't the hairs on her legs fall out, I ask you??? Oy.

Marigold said...

Dear Goatfarmer,
Yes, Up, Up and Away! Now she has to drink a ton of water for three days and she'll be 'Glub-Glub Woman'. ")

Marigold said...

Dear Snowcatcher,
Yes, those steroids are rather magical in the cleaning department, just not so hot in the sleeping department. As a matter of fact, that quote does fit your situation. :) Thank you for all that you have done and the support you have given! You are awesome!

Marigold said...

Dear Auntie,
Oh, No! We MUCH prefer HOUSE cleaning as opposed to any other kind. And yes, those lovely red orbs (the potatoes) are MUCH loved! :)

Marigold said...

Dear Teresa,
Well, this one is actually Decadron. Is it different from Prednisone? Maybe that is the key. :) Thank you for thinking us deserving of the wonderful award, and mostly thank you for coming along on our little ride. It is much appreciated!

Marigold said...

Dear Queen Quattra,
Yes indeed! Plus we have a clean barn too because the Goatfather and the neighbor did it for the Goatmother! Then the Goatmother, with help form the Goatfather, trimmed our hooves...which wasn't actually my favorite things, but then you know how it is.

Candy C. said...

Congrats on the lovely award from Miss Mimi and Darla Rose! The "Brazilian" reference cracked me up but you say it did NOT work on the legs? Bummer.
I'm still catching up on my blog reading and I hope you are doing okay today after your session with Evander. {{HUGS}}

Marigold said...

Dear Candy,
Well, in hindsight, Evander won this round. I'm on it, though. After all, boxing and butting aren't so very different when you get right down to it.

J (future seer) said...

I like the idea of the goatmother becoming a tarot reader. I can so see it! After this, she will know everything and will be most willing to share. Chemo is a hell of a way to earn your stripes.

Goat Girls Rule! said...

The Goat Girls at Cudzoo Farm are wondering if this "Brazilian" styling is similar to a dairy clip?!

Marigold said...

Dear Goat Girls,
I liken it more to a show clip. :)

Ginnie said...

My oh my, good thing you and Goatmother have senses of humor! Love that Alice quote. Keeping prayers going your way for continued strength, courage, and lots and lots of healing.

Marigold said...

Dear Ginnie,
Thank you! We appreciate it more than you know and requests for angel hugs and prayers coming for you too! :)