Still Here, Still Kickin' ...

Do you like this picture?  It has nothing to do with anything.  It is a Himalayan Impatiens (Impatiens glandulifera).  It is part of the Garden-Gone-Wild gardening plan in place here due to the temporary injunction against Goatmother Gardening.  Seems like it managed pretty well on its own, though.

So, like I said, it has nothing to do with anything.  This is my 500th post.  That has nothing to do with anything either.  Who knew a goat could have so much to say?  Well, whoever thought that obviously never met me.   I suppose this ought to be a momentous occasion, but  due to a lack of Peanuts I'm not feeling very momentous.  Oh, not that we've run out of Peanuts, mind you.  It is just that I haven't had enough of them.  Come to think of it, I never have enough of them, so maybe I am living in a perpetual non-momentous state.  Now there's something to think about.

Anyway, I'm sure you are all wondering about the Goatmother anyway.  Well, the Goatmother made it through the last of the chemotherapy treatments.  Now while she didn't have quite as awful a time as the last, cumulative effects have wrought their vengeance and there seems to be a bit more trouble coming out from under the spell.   I suppose you could say the Goatmother isn't feeling very momentous either.  We shall prevail, however, so never fear.

The next step?  Radiation.  We are not sure exactly when this will begin, only that it should commence some time in the next 3 or 4 weeks.  We are fully expecting the Goatmother to begin glowing, but I think we'll have to draw the line if she starts resembling a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.  ButterBean is bad enough without adding anything green and shell-like into the mix, thank you very much.

So, then, onward and upward!  Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in the ongoing saga against evil. 

"Perseverance is not a long race;  it is many short races one after the other" - Walter Elliot

You Just Never Know

A couple of days ago, a package arrived in the mail.  It looked like this:

Royal Mail?  What the hay could this be?  Well, as it turns out, it was a wonderful package from our friend Faith (click here to go to her blog) in Wales!  Included in the package was what you see below:

And let me tell you, it is a darned good thing they were included because the waterworks started  right away upon finding the rest of the contents.  So what was it that could elicit such a response, you ask?  It was none other than an effigy of the Goatmother's most beloved alter ego, which you can read about here, in case you missed out.  And not just any old effigy, but one lovingly wrought by the hand of one very skilled artist!  May I present what you see below:

Oh, it's a very cute crocheted doll, you say.  But I assure you, this is not just any crocheted doll.  Take a look at this, my friends :

Yep!  A purple cape with a big 'B' for none other than, ButterBean!!!  Here to bolster the Goatmother and just in the nick of time, for tomorrow will be the LAST chemotherapy treatment!  Now how timely is that?  Just like in the movies, the heroine shows up to save the day!  (We do have one small question for Faith ... why is ButterBean gray?  Is there something you know that we don't about when the Goatmother's hair grows back?  On the other hand, come to think of it, why does ButterBean have hair at all?   I'm just sayin' ...  Don't tell the Goatmother.  Oh, why am I cursed with this ratiocinative nature?)


Now, then,  I wouldn't want you to think this is all that was in that fabulous package from Wales (as if that weren't enough).  Did you see those three beautiful crocheted pansies at ButterBean's feet?  Aren't they lovely?  Still there is one more very special thing, and I will show it to you below:

Do you see what is on that card?  Why it is a VERY good likeness of one philosophically minded goat drawn by the hand of Faith's oldest son!  Now I would say that here is an artist in the making, wouldn't you?  So we thank him most kindly, as well as Faith's middle and youngest sons because, well, we just know they had a hand in helping with the whole project!


Just when we think people can't get any nicer and we can't get any luckier, the Universe has a way of showing us that we're not as smart as we think we are.  We are humbled yet again by the generosity and kindness of these friends, and so very many others.  Most simply, thank you.

So, on to the morrow.  It is not without a little trepidation that we enter this last bout with the Challenger, but we know we can do it.  So many others have and have had so much more to deal with.  So as Princess Leia said to Han Solo, 'A kiss for luck', and we're on our way. (Or was that The Carpenters?)

"Do or do not ... there is no try."  - Yoda

Setting A Baaad Example

This just gives us all a bad name.  Next thing you know,  all the Goatmothers, Maas, Goat Girls, Goat Guys and anyone else out there that lives with a goat is going to see this and EXPECT that kind of behavior.  Oy.  Not even for Peanuts, Goatmother!

Skateboarding Goat

Fear Not!

Haarroo ... uh ... err... cough ... ahemm ... Hello.  So sorry.  Peanut in the mouth. (You know how it is.  One has to keep up one's strength.)  Anyway, it has been awhile and that is because, *unfortunately*, the last round with the Challenger, was not nearly so kind to the Goatmother as before.  Well, it is what it is, and we are on the upswing now.  So remember?  It's all good!

The other *unfortunate* problem is that my stupid muse, Caprinope, has decided to go on vacation.   Again.  This year I believe it is Uzbekistan.  Are there goats in Uzbekistan?  Of course there are.  Goats are everywhere.  Like UPS.  And McDonald's.

Anyway, there was, recently another *unfortunate* occurrence.  I mean I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone, (especially any *unfortunate* Alpines),  but, really,  I simply can't help myself.  You see the Goatfather has dutifully been taking care of us for the Goatmother, and doing an admirable job I might add.  Things have been going smashingly.  Well, except for that one, small *unfortunatecy*.  (Wait.  Is that a word?  Never mind.  I say it is a word, so deal with it.  Besides, this whole thing is beginning to sound a lot  like Lemony Snickett anyway.)  So what happened was that Ella was on the stand because Ella is a hog and the Goatfather had put something in the grain bucket.  Since Ella was on the stand, the Goatfather saw it as an opportune time to check her hooves, reached over, and closed the latch on the headpiece.  Now there is one thing you need to understand about Ella.  Ella loves the Goatmother and will do just about anything the Goatmother asks (the Brown Nose).  But this was decidedly NOT the Goatmother.  It was the Goatfather.  Therefore Ella took exception when the Goatfather tried to pick up her hoof and kicked a mighty Alpine kick.  Normally this would only have elicited snickers from the, pardon me, Peanut gallery, but in this instance, when Ella kicked the mighty Alpine kick, she fell off the stand.  Which really wouldn't have been that big a deal, except her head was still locked in.

So Ella gave the mighty Alpine kick, fell off the stand head still locked in, and managed to scare the bejeebers out of herself and surprise the holy hay out of the Goatfather in the process.    Everyone else stopped in their tracks waiting for the pin to drop.  Instead all hayl broke loose and Ella took off out of the barn, full steam, headed for the pasture with the poor unsuspecting stand flailing along beside her.  At some point, the latch thankfully gave way, and the pas de deux came to an ungraceful end.  The much relieved stand gasped its last breath as its mercurial partner sped away.  If only we'd had the video camera.  Then we could have filmed the fiasco and tacked onto the credits at the end, 'No obnoxious Alpine was harmed in the making of this film'.  We could not, however, have made the same claim for the stand.  The Goatfather spent a good deal of the rest of that morning in resuscitation efforts.

Let this be a lesson to all unsuspecting persons (and stands) to always let sleeping, eating, or for that matter, doing anything, Alpines lie.   This public service announcement has been brought to you by the N.G.A.A A. (Normal Goats Against Alpine Attitude).

So this has been just a short note to let you know that we are still here, still going strong, and haven't run out of Peanuts. 

Amen.

World's Greatest Medical Oncologist!

Hello!  Well the Goatmother finished Round 3 of her chemotherapy today.  It was thankfully uneventful, I'm sure due to the great skills of the person you see below.

Kenny G?????  What, the hay??!!!  Goatmother, will you get OFF here!  This is MY blog!!!!!  Oy.  The things I have to put up with around here.

Now, then, the REAL person with all the skill will appear below.  Kenny G has left the building.  Really.  It is safe now.

This is the Goatmother's lovely Medical Oncologist, and let me tell you, she is the World's Best Medical Oncologist!  At least we certainly think so.  I mean how many Medical Oncologists do you know who are willing to appear on the blog of a philosophical goat?  I bet not many, if any at all.  In fact, this might actually be a first.  We may be treading unknown territory here.  But  allow me to say that this woman is definitely on top of things and an asset to her profession.  Plus she is a very nice person.  What a combination, eh?

So one more session to go, and we are so very thankful to have had this wonderful lady on our team.  No one could ask for better.

"Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light. " ~Norman B. Rice   

Okay, we think this fits her quite nicely.

So Here's The Thing ...

I'm sure no one has been keeping track, but come Monday the Goatmother is going for Round 3 with the champ.  Okay, well, maybe not the champ, but on the other hand, if it gets rid of the evil 'C' monster it's a champ in my book and can have the ring, the big belt buckle and everything.  Anyway, what this means is that tomorrow the Goatmother must take the steroids.  Now, if you recall, the steroids turn the Goatmother into the Barry Bonds of cleaning and may actually qualify her for the Hall of Fame.  Nothing is safe.  But this time, the Goatmother thought she'd get a little head start.  I mean why do it all in one day?

So first the dogs got a bath (See?  I told you nothing was safe.  And I can tell you it is a darned good thing the Goatfather is taking care of us goats right now, or we'd all be hiding.)  Next there was laundry, finding a place to store her burgeoning hat collection, hanging the beautiful Snowcatcher snowflakes, deadheading the African Violets, a little light dusting, the dishes, etc. etc. etc.  Then it came time to clean the bathrooms, which, of course, required some mirror cleaning.  So the Goatmother reached into the cabinet and pulled out the blue bottle of Windex and headed for the bathroom.  Now the bathroom mirror has three panels, so the Goatmother sprayed all three panels liberally and and began to wipe it off.  Naturally the first swipe always leaves a film, so you have to go over it again with a dry paper towel to achieve that streak-free shine.  She rubbed and rubbed, but for some reason that film just wasn't coming off.  Hmmmm.  "Must be because I grabbed those paper towels that were under the steam cleaner", she thought.  So she dutifully got a fresh roll of paper towels and tore off a brand new one.  She sprayed the three panels again and wiped it off just as before, but oddly the film seemed to have gotten even worse.  This time when she used the second clean paper towel, that stubborn film just refused to do anything but smear around. 

The Goatmother rubbed and rubbed, but her arms were beginning to get awfully tired.  "Ah, ha!", thought she.  "I will use rubbing alcohol like I do on my glasses!"  So out came the rubbing alcohol liberally poured onto yet another clean paper towel.  By this time, quite a pile of paper towels was beginning to build up on the counter.  Let it never be said that the Goatmother is anything but completely thorough.  No amount of paper towels is too large to expend when one is on a quest.  But even the rubbing alcohol and more clean paper towels could not remove that film. 

"What in the world is going on?", thought the Goatmother.  And that was when the elevator finally made it to the top floor.  The Goatmother looked at the blue bottle in her hand whose label  had magically morphed from Windex to ... Oxi-Clean.  For sure ain't no stains on that mirror.

So let this be a lesson to you.  "The way to get ahead is to start now.  While many of us are waiting until conditions are 'just right' before we go ahead, others are stumbling along, fortunately ignorant of the dangers that beset them.  By the time we are , in our superior wisdom, decided to make a start, we discover that those who have gone fearlessly on before, have, in their blundering way, traveled a considerable distance.  If you start now, you will know a lot next year that you don't know now, and that you will not know next year, if you wait." - William Feather.

Imelda Goatmother

Remember that lady, Imelda Marcos, the one that had all the shoes?  Somebody estimated at one time she had 3,000 or more pairs of shoes.  Now, I could understand that if that lady were a goat and had four feet instead of just two.  Anyway, allow me to grace you with a couple more pictures of the Goatmother. (Remember her?  She who does not like to have her picture taken, let alone plastered on the internet?)

First off we have this lovely hat from our friend, the Snowcatcher.  You may remember the talented Snowcatcher created this pattern, made this lovely hat, and then posted the pattern as part of Operation Marigold so that anyone might recreate it for someone in need, or perhaps donate it to their local cancer center or other organization.  Anyway, the kind lady not only did this, but, like our friend, Mrs. Micawber, sent the hat to the Goatmother!  How nice is that?

Not only is this hat beautiful, but it makes the Goatmother look like she actually has hair!  Never mind that it is turquoise hair, but, hay, lots of females have strange colored locks these days.  It is in vogue.  Besides, she could always apply to be a rebel barrister.  But the Snowcatcher didn't stop with the hat.  She also sent the Goatmother more of those exquisite snowflakes she makes!  Just look at the two examples the Goatmother is holding with that cheesy grin on her face.  They look good enough to eat, though I doubt the Goatmother would let anyone near enough to test that theory.  All I can say is what a truly gracious lady.  I wonder if she can crochet Peanuts?

Now then, what you see in the next picture came as a complete surprise and it made the Goatmother laugh (always a good thing these days).  Not only did it make the Goatmother laugh, but it made all of us laugh when we saw her in it!  It is perfect, though perhaps a bit warm for the weather at the moment.  Nonetheless, we sincerely doubt the Goatmother is going to have hair anytime in the near future, so we think it likely the hat  will get a true workout at some point.  Besides, if she wasn't already, it further serves to make the Goatmother a bona fide member of the herd.

And just in case you still don't quite get it, take a closer look.  There are horns and ears on that hat!  Yep, horns and ears and a canonization to Goathood courtesy of our wonderful friend, MiMi, over at The Goat Borrower. 

With all these hats, the Goatmother is beginning to resemble the Imelda Marcos of hats.  Soon she may have to grow another head.  Now that would be interesting.  However, I feel the need to point out that if the Goatmother had two heads, she'd likely just waste it worrying twice as much.  Still, we are working on that aspect.  Worrying is not a good weapon against the evil 'C' monster, and our aim is to get her to meditate that stuff right out of her head - no matter how many she has.  In fact, I'm thinking of letting her borrow my stump.  Which only goes to prove how much I care for the Goatmother because I would never let just anybody use my stump.  Aren't I magnanimous?

At any rate, Imelda's gratitude to these two ladies is immeasurable.  It is also largely inexpressible, at least in an adequate manner.  Humbly, Snowcatcher and Goat Borrower, our thanks to you.  May the blessings of the great goat God, Pan, be abundantly expressed in your lives.  (This means many Peanuts will likely rain down on your head.  Better invest in an umbrella.)

One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.  ~Malayan Proverb