"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Sunday, October 30, 2011

When I am Old ...

... I shall wear vampires?????

Okay, my friends, look quick.  The Goatmother simply hates to have her picture taken and this may well be the only one you will ever see.  It is a Halloween miracle.  What?  You only thought they happened at Christmas?

Anyway, you may recall the Goatmother simply loves Halloween.  So, it all began last night with a dinner of spider eggs and a lovely eyeball casserole.  Oh.  Yu - um?

Then this morning, out popped the Goatmother with the Little UnDead and the Goatfather in tow, on their way to Sweet Laurette's (Hay!  Check out her website.) in Port Townsend.  Not only does Sweet Laurette's have the most wonderful food, but it is owned and staffed by the most awesome people.  Anyway, patrons were invited to come dressed in costume during brunch yesterday and today, so, you guessed it, this is where our little party was bound.  The Goatmother had donned an Irish Renaissance gown (the top of which can be seen in the one and only probably ever picture of her above) for the occasion.

Here you see The Paltry Putrid One sitting in one of the chairs outside Sweet Laurette's.  I do not understand how it is that someone so, well, green, gets to go to all these places and I don't.

Anyway, once inside, the group was met by some of the awesome staff people.

Wouldn't you love to be greeted and served by a French maid, Wonder Woman and a Doctor?  Or is she a nurse?  At any rate, in this next photo you can see a 'normally' dressed young lady on the right. She was supposed to be Willie Nelson, but I guess we missed out on that because her alter ego apparently only comes out on Saturdays. No matter.  She stirs up a really mean cup of brew, that one, not to mention being an exceptional person.

Once seated, The Inconsiderable UnInert insisted on having his picture taken again.  Hardly anybody noticed.  Hardly...

I really think he was trying to get Laurette's cute little painter to come over and brush some of the crumbs off his coat.

Now I wouldn't want you to think that the Goatfather refused to enter into the spirit of things because he certainly did.  Sort of.

Even the Zombie guy across the street seemed envious.  Well, maybe he was envious.  Really it was kind of hard to tell.  Maybe he was just scoping out the place for brains.  Ewwwwww.  Don't be concerned, though.  Obviously none of our little party has any.  Oh, oops.  Did I just say that?

All in all, everyone had a great time.  So many places just don't celebrate Halloween anymore.  How cool is it that there are still a few around who do?  Gotta' love Port Townsend!

Now if I can just get someone to take me trick or treating. 

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Halloween Pillow

Now that the cat is out of the bag - or is it the goat out of the barn? - we can talk about it.  Oh, no, it isn't a big, deep, dark family secret, but it is rather interesting just the same.  You see, the first thing you need to know is that the goatmother is not much of a seamstress, or so she professes. She spent the first 8 years of  her education in Catholic school and somehow missed out on all the home economics classes the public school kids were required to take. Despite this obvious lack in her education, the goatmother decided to try making the goatdaughter a pillow for Halloween.  Now the goatdaughter loves Halloween almost as much as the goatmother, but the other thing the goatdaughter loves is fairies.  So you can well imagine, when the goatmother found a wonderful old reproduction of a Victorian Halloween card on fabric, she simply had to have it.  But what to do with it?

It took a bit of time, because, as I said, the goatmother is sadly lacking in the seamstress department. That is probably the reason I've never gotten a coat.  It has to be the reason, because, of course, everyone knows I need one. Anyway, the goatmother planned it out and worked and worked.  She picked out complementary fabrics and even added some charms, some bats, some decorative stitching, and a couple of antique buttons.  When she was finally finished, she boxed it up and sent it off to the goatdaughter.  That is why we can talk about it now.  At any rate, I thought you might like to see it.  She's kind of proud of it and she's been a little hard to live with.  I keep telling her she'd be a lot prouder if it was for me, but so far she hasn't paid any attention.  Still, one never knows, and I'm a persistent goat if nothing else.

Anyway, click on the picture for a larger version.

I guess you just never know until you try, right? 

"It is through accomplishment that man makes his contribution and contribution is life's greatest reward." - John Portman.

 Personally, I feel life's greatest reward comes in a shell. 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Reasons To Be Cheerful

Ah, well, it is Reasons To Be Cheerful day!  We simply can not forget that! And be sure to drop on over to Planet Penny to view others' reasons to be cheerful this week, or even add a link of your own!  So here we go.   My reasons to be cheerful  this week

1)  Guerrilla Art  (Please see this post for explanation)

2)  Cute little old men who stop and ask you, 'What the heck are you doing????' when you are out taking ridiculous pictures, and then join in the laughter.

3)  Halloween


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

We live very close to Port Townsend.  Now Port Townsend touts itself as being an 'old Victorian seaport', and indeed it is just that.  It was the original entryway into the Puget Sound when Seattle was just a thought.  It is dotted with beautiful old Victorian homes and strives to maintain that ambiance.  But Port Townsend is also known for the arts - be that painting, drawing, sculpture, theater or any other form.  So really, should it have come as any surprise when the goatmother and goatfather tootled up Sims Way one morning and came upon this:

                                          Photo courtesy the Port Townsend Leader

What the hay????????!

Well, you see the city of Port Townsend, amidst much controversy, recently installed two round-abouts on Sims Way coming into town.  This sculpture appeared very early one morning in the center of the second round-about.  A city Halloween decoration?  Uh, that would be a 'No'.  For you see, Port Townsend is also known to be the home of 'Guerilla Art'.  Some time, in the dead of night, black-clad ninja-like forms covertly run about setting up random acts of art.  One never knows when or where they will appear.

Now the fantastic thing about this piece was the sheer magnitude of it, and the thought that anyone, or any number of someones, could manage to erect something that size without anyone knowing.  In case you can't quite make it out, it is a giant spider consuming a full-sized Volkswagen.  No kidding.  And, if you look to the left, there is an empty pink baby stroller.  Oy.  Now how cool is that?

The goatmother and goatfather went on to eat breakfast thinking they would take a picture of it when they were finished.  The city had other ideas and the whole thing was completely dismantled and taken away by the time they got back.  I, for one, really think they should have left it.  I mean how many cities do you know that have giant spiders eating Volkswagens on the way into town?

Personally I wish the ninjas would come back and erect some giant form of art there every year.  Maybe even two or three times a year.  I mean art is to be appreciated and Guerrilla Art, well, that has to be admired  simply on the basis of its improbability. 

"It's enough for you to do it once for a few men to remember you. But if you do it year after year, then many people remember you and they tell it to their children, and their children and grandchildren remember and, if it concerns books, they can read them. And if it's good enough, it will last as long as there are human beings." - Ernest Hemingway.

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom are this:  Support the arts.  Well, I guess I've done my part.  I think I'll go have a Peanut and figure out how I can get someone to erect a giant goat eating a Peanut.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Practically UnDead (Part 2)

Well, as promised, we're back again with the conclusion of  2011's Expedition of the UnDead - a foray into the world of 'Practical Magic'.  (Oooo.  Didn't that sound all professional?  I think someone ought to give me a Peanut for that one.)  Now, if you are just tuning in and haven't read Part 1 yet, then you better go on down the line and read that one first or you are bound to end up saying 'What the hay?'  Anyway, onward and upward!

When last we saw our hero, he had just found the site of Sally's shop on Main street.  So, 'Destination 4' is the Ursula building where Officer Hallet (Aidan Quinn) stays when he comes to investigate the disappearance of Nicole Kidman's former boyfriend.

This one proved a bit of a challenge since absolutely nothing seemed to be the same.  However, our little tribe managed to find the Ursula building because of the big sign on the top that said, well, 'Ursula'.  Duh.

As you can see, the front door is completely different and the big picket-type fence is no longer present.  And  just where exactly is that UnderSized UnOffed?

Ah, there he is.  If you ask me, I think he's smelling that old sailor-guy's armpit.  Now I don't want to point any fingers, but the goatmother walked off and left The Little UnDead again at this point.  Come to think of it, there might have been a reason.  I mean who wants to hang out with somebody who goes around smelling old sailors' armpits?  Anyway, they finally set off for 'Destination 5'.

In this scene, Sally is seen running home.  This was the most fun one to find because the group got to walk (or fly) up a small bluff with the wharf in the background.

That stupid disembodied hand got into the act on this one.  In it's defense, though, The Little Non-Lifer got so excited when they found the spot, that someone had to keep him from flying out of control.

Anyway, that was the end of the 'Destinations' - well for the movie anyway.  If you've never seen the movie, 'Practical Magic', then you should.  And if you've never been to Coupeville, well, you ought to do that too.  It's a pretty magical place.

But we're not quite done.  Nope.  Our intrepid band of travelers had one more stop to make.  Now, anyone that knows the Little UnDead knows that, well, he has a penchant for the red liquid.  No.  I am not referring to blood, although I can see why you would think that.  No, our little friend has a fondness for the fruit of the vine.  Let me be clear here.  I am not talking about grapes, but what grapes make.

With that in mind, it became necessary to make one last stop to visit one of the goatmother and the goatfather's favorite wineries.  Blooms Winery, in Freeland, is home to a Double Gold  award winning wine named 'Poetry', and some other pretty awesome wines as well.   They just happened to be doing a crush that day.  Of course The Diminutive DeadGuy had to get in on the act.

They were crushing Syrah, and our hero was able to get up close and personal with some of those luscious grapes.

Just look at that sappy grin.  Oy.

So, my friends, that brings us to the close of this year's Trip of the Light Fanatic.  There's just one more photo to leave you with.  It is one of those pictures worth a thousand words.  Maybe even a few more than that.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Practically UnDead (Part 1)

Perhaps you remember my annoying, life-challenged, little green friend?  Don't tell me you have forgotten him? Well, admittedly sometimes I try, but it usually turns out to be a fruitless effort.  Anyway, back in 2009, The Little UnDead dude embarked upon a journey to the vampire mecca, Forks, to visit all the sites from 'Twilight'.  In case you missed out, you can read all about it starting with the post here, and a few subsequent posts, here and here and here.  Then, the following year, The Dinky UnGoner was hosted by the ever-kind Lisa, over at Pink Porches, and treated to a tour of all things Stephen King.  You can read about those misadventures here.  Well, you guessed it.  Another year and another expedition. Besides, it is almost Halloween and what better way to beleaguer us all than with a new adventure?

Last year, Lisa played chaperon.  After all, the fact that The Elfin AlmostExtinct got lost in Forks  made it quite clear that he doesn't do well on his own.  So this year, the goatmother and the goatfather decided to accompany him to .... wait for it ... Coupeville! What is Coupeville, you ask?  Well, my friends, Coupeville is a quaint little town on Whidbey Island (in Washington state) where parts of that most excellent movie, Practical Magic, starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman (among others), was filmed.  Now part of it was, of course, done on a set in Los Angeles, and the house itself, was constructed on San Juan Island and then torn down after filming was completed.  But the town of Coupeville, was, in fact, the setting for the town of 'Maria's Island'.

So, without further adieu, following is The Undersized InAnimate's photo journal.  Certain photos are courtesy of the website Washington Film Locations at this link.  These, of course, are for comparison purposes.  Please be aware that the stupid disembodied hand simply insisted upon coming along and can be seen in quite a few of the snapshots.  Oy.  Some people are such prima donnas.

First and foremost, the goatmother and the goatfather insisted on going to their favorite restaurant for breakfast.  It is often a wise thing to humor those who have the money.

It wasn't much of a sacrifice to stop at 12 Front Street.  Chris and Rita are just the nicest people.  Besides, they make THE BEST cinnamon rolls ever!  Mind you, when everyone returned home no one offered me any.  Still, I am holding out hope since they brought some home with them.  Just take a look.  It's bigger than that Stupid Little UnResting-In-Peace!   No fair.  I call foul!

Anyway, after the goatmother and goatfather were satisfactorily satiated, the strange little party headed for the street.  The Petite and Pershished One quickly found himself right at home in Coupeville.

Now, here is a shot from the movie.  We shall call this 'Destination 1'.  This scene is where Sally (Sandra Bullock) and her aunts, Fran (Stockard Channing) and Jet (Dianne West) are walking toward a farmer's market where Sally first sees Michael (Mark Feuerstein), her husband-to-be.

It took a bit of doing, but the gang finally found the location.  For the movie, the entire town was painted white.  Things have changed a bit since then, but you can see by the windows and the flagpole, the troupe managed to find the right place.

What?!  You don't see The Vert UnLifeless One?  How about now?

Rather like a chameleon, he's always trying to blend in.  Even though the goatmother walked off and left him, they did manage to get on to 'Destination 2'.  This scene was shot in the middle of Front street, where Michael is first run over by a bunch of bicyclists and then a delivery truck.

This one was a little tougher to find, however, do notice the square blue building on the right.

Unfortunately no herd of itinerant bicyclists could be found and enticed to run over The Little Short and Stiff.  Sometimes serendipity is simply nowhere to be found.  Nonetheless, our little band then proceeded in search of 'Destination 3'.  It was actually the easiest one to find.

In this scene, Sally can be seen in front of her little shop, "Verbena".  The colors have changed and the bench has moved, but it still looks much the same.

I know.  You're too busy looking at that pretty little pumpkin to notice The Lilliputian and Liquidated, right?

How about now?  Yep, that's our hero right there in the corner of the right hand window.  Luckily the woman inside was too busy to run out and try to stake him.

Anyway, I suppose that's about enough for one day.  I wouldn't want anyone to be bored to death.  They might end up like The Little Intrepid and Inert.  One of  those is quite enough, don't you think?  So stay tuned tomorrow for Part Deux of Practically UnDead.  In the meantime, go relax.  Have a Peanut and try not to think about it.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Reasons To Be Cheerful

One of our blogging friends over at Planet Penny, has had a lovely idea!  Take a moment each week to list three things that make you happy.  It can be a list or it can be pictures.  You can be creative.  If you'd like to see her post, you can go here.  I think it is a lovely idea, even if I am a technologically-challenged goat and can't seem to find her 'linky'.  Nonetheless, here is my list for this week:

1)  Peanuts  (Okay, don't try to tell me you didn't know that was coming.)

2)  October apples fresh from the tree.

3)  Beautiful yellow and orange  leaves, guided gently by a gentle autumn breeze over to my side of the fence.

Ahhhh.... there!  So much better than watching the news, now don't you think?  Thank you Penny!  Now be sure to follow my link above to Penny's blog.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Okay, just look at this article.  Time for 'News of the DUH'.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Colorado officials have disqualified the grand champion goat from this year's State Fair because they say it tested positive for an unapproved drug.

The Pueblo Chieftain reported Friday that a second goat entered by another child from the same family also was disqualified for the same drug.
Susan Weinroth of Sedalia says the family got a letter from the attorney general's office saying her family's goats tested positive for a feed additive approved for swine but not goats.
She suspects the food may have been tampered with and says the family reported their suspicions to officials. She says the family will appeal.
Disqualification means her daughter and son can't collect their earnings from the sale of the goats, $5,500 for the champion and $1,300 for the other.
(Copyright ©2011 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.) 
You see, being a pig is not a good thing - excuse me, swine.  Pay attention, here, Ella. At the very least, someone tampers with your food.  But no matter what, you are disqualified and they take away all your profit.  Wednesday's Words of Wisdom?  It doesn't pay to be a pig.  Oy.  On second thought, go ahead.  That'll leave all the Peanuts for me.

(Now, be sure to stay tuned because our Little Undead friend is going on yet another Halloween adventure this Friday   Ooo.  I bet you can't wait.  I know I can.)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Ah, well, here it is Wednesday.  Again.  How does the time fly by so quickly?  There have been no more Bob-O-Lynx sightings, but ever since the goatmother read that a mere Bobcat can pounce 10 feet and take down a deer, everyone has been grazing with one eye open.  Throw the fainting goat to the front and run, I always say.

At any rate, this morning the goatmother had Peanuts on her breath.  I think she must've had Peanut Butter for breakfast. She didn't offer me any.  Still, I didn't mention it to her.  After all, it is better to never look a gift goatmother in the mouth.  Besides, she's the only one with opposable thumbs to unscrew the lid on the Peanut jar. Unless, of course, we get a monkey, and you can be sure the goatfather isn't going for that.  Come to think of it, the goatmother's grandfather had a monkey.  I heard he used to go around unscrewing all the light bulbs dashing them to bits on the ground, and plucking all the clothespins off the line when they were dutifully trying to hold onto clean laundry.  Oy.  Now that I consider it even further, I remember seeing those pictures of organ grinders with monkeys, and people standing about offering the little devil - what?!!! - PEANUTS!  Okay. No monkeys for us.  Nope.  Ain't gonna' happen.

Note to self (any by the way, Wednesday's Words of Wisdom):  Do be careful what you wish for.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


Have I ever told you about the Lynx?  Well, maybe I did.  I've slept a lot since then, and eaten A LOT of Peanuts.  Anyway, a few years ago, the goatmother heard our resident murder of crows raising holy hay.  Louder even than normal.  No, the goatmother did not murder the crows.  That is really what you call a group of crows.  Really.  Would I lie to you?  Anyway, the goatmother heard the great cacophonous disturbance and looked out just in time to see a VERY large cinnamon-colored cat running into the yard with the crows hot in pursuit.  In the days that followed, the mysterious interloper was seen dashing down the road and into the woods.  Even the mulch delivery man saw him.  Now the odd part about this was that the wildlife oracles all insist there are no Lynx on the Olympic Peninsula - only Bobcats.  Hmmm.

Despite what the oracles say, this cat was much larger than a Bobcat, had huge feet, really long legs, no spots, and most importantly, no white.  And to make even more of a point, the goatmother saw a true Bobcat walking on the road in front of the house the very day after.  The Bobcat was much smaller, had spots and had white under the tail.   Hmmmmm.  So the goatmother did a little research and found that Lynx are present in the Cascade Mountains and it is not unknown for them to cross with Bobcats.  The goatneighbor knows of a man who once tracked a Mountain Lion, that had been released, 75 miles in just one day.  The Cascade Mountains aren't that far, so I don't believe it would be any real stretch of the imagination to believe there might actually be a few Lynx in the Olympic Mountains.  Hmmmmm.

At any rate, that was then.  The goatneighbor came over yesterday with his John Deere tractor. (Yes, Kelly, his John Deere actually stays running.)  He came to put wood shavings into our got pen in preparation for the upcoming repeat La Nina. I mean, let's face it, if you put anything the size of Boo on wet ground, you are going to get mud pretty soon.  Prevention.  That's the ticket!  Anyway, when he was finished, he told the goatmother and the goatfather that he had seen the Lynx around the bend in the road on his way over.  Hmmmm.

So this morning the goatmother began dutifully spreading the wood shavings about.  Of course Ella was all about helping.  Naturally the goatmother needed help pushing the wheelbarrow, and of course those handles were slick and needed some teeth-mark grips, and well, there were roots in the shavings that needed to be removed by someone.  The rest of us set about our normal routine.  Boo and I wandered off to the 'brushy' part of the pasture.  Then Boo began to snort.  She was looking off down into the woods.  I became alarmed, though I didn't really see anything.  Then Cabra heard all the snorting, became alarmed and started barking.  The goatmother looked, but she didn't see anything either, so she continued her task of trying to convince Ella she didn't really need any help, but thank you very much.  After the goatmother finished, she went into the shop to talk to the  goatfather and noticed Ella had begun to snort, too, likewise looking off down into the woods.  So the goatmother walked up to the fence and that is when she saw the cat.  Both froze.  Time stopped.  They stared at each other for a full minute.  The goatmother yelled for the goatfather, but of course, he didn't hear.  He was probably in the bathroom anyway.   Hmmmmm.

Now this cat was smaller than the original one the goatmother had seen a few years ago.  However, it was larger than the Bobcat she had seen, and had no white.  It was cinnamon-colored, too, but darker.  So the goatmother concluded that it must be a second generation cat - an offspring of the Lynx and the Bobcat. Hmmmm.

I suppose it doesn't matter one way or the other, but I can tell you that we will all be on alert from now on.  You just never know when one of these guys might develop a taste for Chevon.  Or duck.  Or fuzzy farm dog.  Heaven help us all should he develop a taste for Peanuts.   Mayhaps we should consider the re-establishment of the Homegoat Security Team.  Oh, well.  "Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.  Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." - Helen Keller.  I vote for the daring adventure.  Especially if Peanuts are involved.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Well, gosh.  Here it is Wednesday again.  I thought it was just Wednesday yesterday.  Of course that would make today Thursday, so I guess it is a moot point.  Anyway, I have decided that the white Woolly Booger with the heart was an omen.  Yes.  After all, it is October.  Omens are running amok.

So, it is my belief that the heart on the Woolly Booger was his way of letting us know just how sorry he feels for us.  And that would be because - remember when I told you about the 37 mph wind and the downed trees and limbs?  We've had more wind and more trees, and more limbs.  I'm not really complaining since I can hardly move from being so full of leaves, but I have to say this.  Ella, you are a pig.  When you were born, someone said, 'Oh, what a nice goat.'  But they were wrong.  You are a pig.  Oink.  Oink.  When the succulent fallen tree limbs come over the fence, you feel you have to be first to get a taste.  Nothing and no one can stand in your way lest they be dashed beneath your plundering body.  I'm quite tired of it.  I am the middle goat.  I am entitled to at least a little respect, not to mention a good share of the 'booty'.  Arrrrrrrrh!  I'm gonna' get a patch to put over one eye and a parrot to ride around on my back.  Although all I can probably get is a crow, but that is okay.  I will be FEARSOME and you will not cross me!  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrh!

At any rate, Ella-Oink or no, the limbs, once tossed into the goat pen, have all managed to quickly end up looking like the bones of a cow having had the misfortune to fall, only moments before, into a river full of Piranha  Still, the Fall/Winter season has just begun, and the next time more of the plunder shall be mine!   Oy, yes, matey!  And Wednesday's Words of Wisdom? "Life's pretty good, and why wouldn't it be? I'm a pirate, after all." - Johnny Depp.