"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

This Is What Happens If You Are Evil

You may recall that at the conclusion of The Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing, the Dark Lord Ellaron, and everything connected with her, was destroyed.  One can liken it to the end of Star Wars where Darth Vadar spins off into space in his out-of-control TIE fighter.  Well guess what? 

The Eye of Ellaron

NASA believes this to be a Nebula ...  but we know the truth of it, now don't we?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing

I know you have all been anxiously awaiting the third, and final, installment of the Lord of the Wings trilogy.  And, I would feel just horrible if I thought I was actually responsible for anyone's bated breath.  So, Hi-Ho Silver!, and on with the story!

Finally having reached the Highly UnWhite Gate, entrance to MoorDoors, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, realized that it was far too heavily guarded by the repulsive and ravenous Urduck-hai.  So the creature, Goatmother, informed the pair that she knew of a secret entrance.  In reality, the tricksy Goatmother planned to lead Frodigold to Fluffy, a beastly giant Woolly Booger whose penchant was to feed on the fluids of its prey, mostly incompetent weathermen.  Once Frodigold had been dispatched and WatWise had fainted from fright, the cherrr-ishhh-ed would again be hers.  In the meantime, the eye of Ellaron searched unceasingly for THE ONE PEANUT. (Probably both eyes searched, but with an evil Alpine, who can tell.)

It came to pass after the fall of HerdnGuard, that a lone Nigerian, having traveled and fought alongside  BooBeard and the band of itinerant Nubians, came forward to claim that Frodigold and WatWise GoshOgee could only be successful in their quest if the eye of Ellaron was drawn away from its relentless search for THE ONE PEANUT.  The Nigerian's name was PeanutsRGorn, and he was actually the one true heir to the throne of Equidistant-Earth.  Why any intelligent Nigerian, let alone an aristocrat, should heretofore have been traveling with a band of itinerant Nubians, no one could say.  But Cabrarwen UnderFoot and Goatfather, the Grey, were mightily impressed by his prowess, for single-headedly he had butted back many of the fierce Urduck-hai.  So it was decided that Cabrarwen, Goatfather, the Grey, PeanutsRGorn, BooBeard, the band of itinerant Nubians, and anyone else remaining unscathed by the efforts of Ellaron and her minions, would march on the Highly UnWhite Gate.

Meanwhile, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, had reached the secret entrance.  The Goatmother pointed to the entrance and pushed Frodigold forward.  Suddenly Fluffy appeared.  But the Goatmother got more than she bargained for because WatWise was made of sterner stuff than she had anticipated.  Years of fainting had given him the muscles of Atlas and he stilted forth ramming his head into Fluffy.  Fluffy was not killed (rated G for 'general' audiences), but ran away to Florida where the weather is much more predictable.  Frodigold was saved by the courage of her friend.  The creature, Goatmother, realizing she was now in deep goat berries, skulked away silently into the shadows.  Having lost their guide, Frodigold and WatWise were now on their own and the weight of THE PEANUT grew ever more burdensome.  Still they struggled on, and soon the depths of the barn at MoorDoors lay within their reach.

Back at the Highly UnWhite gate, a battle was about to begin.  Seeing his former friends in peril, Quinnurman, the Brown and White, threw aside his allegiance to the Dark Lord Ellaron, and joined the fray.  The eye of Ellaron swung to the gate and the repulsive host of Urduck-hai were ordered forward.

Unbeknownst to anyone, PeanutsRGorn had fulfilled an age-old prophecy by entering the Quacks of Doom and calling forth a ghostly army of ducks ( ancestors of the loathsome Urduck-hai ) who had long ago run, flapping and quacking, from battle.  As a result, they had been cursed to remain in the Quacks until such time as their oaths had been fulfilled.  As heir to the throne of Equidistant-Earth, PeanutsRGorn called them forth to fight.

"Will you fight for the heir?!!!"
" < silence > "
"Will.  You. Fight???!!!!!  What say you???!!!!!"
" Quack! "

By now (Isn't this exciting?), THE ONE PEANUT had taken control of Frodigold.

"It is mine!, my cherrr-ishhh-ed!"

Suddenly the creature, Goatmother, appeared from the gloom and jumped on Frodigold.

"Noooooo!  The cherrr-ishhh-ed is MINE!!!"

They fought.  The creature, Goatmother, grabbed THE PEANUT, tripped (Because she always was such a klutz.), and fell into the abyss that was the barn at MoorDoors.

All that was Ellaron disappeared with the destruction of THE ONE PEANUT.  PeanutsRGorn was crowned and took the throne, which looked strangely like a gold-encrusted and bejeweled hoof-trimming stand.  Cabrarwen and Quinnurman got together because they had always really liked each other, and Cabrarwen had been absolutely devastated when Quinnurman had gone to the dark side.  BooBeard and the herd of itinerant Nubians wandered off wondering what had really happened, where they were going, and what they were going to do when they go to where they didn't know they were going.  The ghostly ducks from the Quacks of Doom, were released from their oaths and wandered back to the pond to begin eating ghostly corn - which in the long run was a lot cheaper.  WatWise GoshOgee returned to the pasture, a hero in every sense of the word, and set about writing his memoirs.  But Frodigold - Frodigold was forever changed, wounded inwardly, beyond repair, by the weight she had borne.  In the end, she sailed west, over the fence, to the Green Havens filled with alfalfa.  And, in case you were wondering, Goatfather, the Grey,  formed a startup computer business and lived to a ripe old age, in front of his computer, until he became Goatfather, the White and could type no more.


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Lord of the Wings - The Two Terrors

So if you are just now tuning in, you will be hopelessly lost.  Just kidding.  You'll just have to go back and read Part I.  So, then, on with our story ...

Now it happened that simply everyone in Equidistant-Earth began searching for The Partnership - even American Idol (What?!  How many times have you seen obscure people on that show?).  There were those whose allegiance to the evil Ellaron forced them into unwavering resolve.  They would find THE ONE PEANUT.  Frodigold and WatWise stuck to the shadows. (And believe me, it was really difficult getting unstuck.) But each time an enemy drew near, THE PEANUT called to them (much like Wheat Chex call to the Goatfather in the dead of night.)  Ever onward trudged the valiant pair, though the weight Frodigold bore began to take a toll on her delicate countenance.

As ill luck would have it, the leader of the wizardly sect to which Goatfather, the Grey,  belonged, Quinnurman, the Brown and White, was corrupted by the evil Ellaron.  She offered him a position herding all the unsuspecting goats of Equidistant-Earth, and in his lust for power, he was lost.  He began building an unholy, unbeatable army, terrible in sheer number alone.  These were no ordinary warriors, but the most elite eating force on earth, the Urduck-hai.  Fierce they were, yet sadly lacking in intelligence and driven by a wantonness for corn heretofore unknown.  Quinnurman had only to offer them Iowa and they were unquestioningly in his thrall.

Frodigold and WatWise GoshOgee now feared from two fronts, that of Ellaron in MoorDoors and Quinnurman at HerdnGuard.

"Wat, ... "
"No, Wat ..."
"Oy.  Never mind.  Where are we?  Wait!  Did you hear that?"

Suddenly a grizzly form appeared from the shadows. Frodigold and WatWise froze.  It was the creature, Goatmother.  In reality, she was drawn there by the deep need for her cherrr-ishhh-ed, but it would never do to let these purloiners know.  After all, had they not stolen the cherrr-ishhh-ed from herInstead she feigned friendship and told the pair she would show them the way to MoorDoors.  An unholy alliance was struck.

In the meantime, deep in the forest outside HerdnGuard, an unlikely ally appeared in the form of a tannish ball of fuzz with legs - Cabrarwen UnderfootCabrarwen, having heard of Quinnurman's fall to the dark side, set about trying to persuade the vacuous BooBeard to launch an attack on HerdnGuard.  BooBeard, long having given up piracy in favor of leading an itinerant band of Nubians, had long dwelled within the shelter of NoHorn forest. Spurred to action by Cabrarwen's persuasive and eloquent pleas, BooBeard and her minions started fervently toward HerdnGuard and promptly forgot where exactly they were going and what exactly they were supposed to do when they got to where they didn't know they were going.  Cabrarwen redoubled her efforts and set about redirecting the hapless horde. Much repetition and rolling of the eyes was involved, but eventually the band reached HerdnGuard and managed, somehow, to bring the citadel to its knees.  The fact that sheer bulk was involved goes without saying.  Einstein was right.  The energy of the material IS indeed equal to the MASS of that material times the speed of light squared.  ( E = mc² )  (Although nothing remotely approaching the speed of light occurred in this case.)

Meanwhile, Frodigold, WatWise and the creature, Goatmother, unaware of all that was being done to ensure their progress, continued their arduous journey ...

Please stay tuned for Part III, Lord of the Wings - The Return of the Thing

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Lord of the Wings (Part 1)

Thanks to my friend, Mrs. Micawber (whom I bet didn't know she was really a Muse), and due to not being able to leave the barn (because even though they said it was supposed to rain, it is snowing again), I have decided to turn my hoof to writing something a little different.  I shall spare you the explanations and simply cut to the chase as I present to you:

The Lord of the Wings

We begin our story eons and eons, and just skads of years, ago in a land known as Equidistant-Earth.  The Dark Lord Ellaron has come upon THE ONE PEANUT, a five-to-a-sheller (What?!  This is a work of fiction.) to rule over all Peanuts.  The ONE to rule them ALL.  But the evil, dark Ellaron, fascinated one day by her own reflection, managed to lose THE ONE PEANUT. 

Time passed and it came to be that an innocent-looking woman, walking along one day, looked down and noticed something.  Little did she know that THE ONE PEANUT wanted only to use her to find the way back to its vile master.  The woman placed the found object into her pocket, but its dastardly influence began to change her unnaturally.  Soon she was turned into a twisted creature known only as The Goatmother.  She was a slave to THE ONE PEANUT, calling it her cherrr-ishhh-ed.  But THE ONE PEANUT was not to be denied, and one day the creature, Goatmother, also lost the cherrr-ishhh-ed.

Eventually, THE ONE PEANUT came into the possession of Frodigold, a lovely, highly intelligent, and exceedingly courageous young goat, dwelling happily in a beautiful part of Equidistant-Earth.  Frodigold was informed by her wizened computer-wizard friend, Goatfather, the Grey, that THE ONE PEANUT was evil and must be destroyed.  But THE ONE PEANUT could only be destroyed by throwing it into the depths of the barn at MoreDoors, where it would be consumed by odious Orcmice and subsequently 'eliminated'.  Soon, Frodigold was joined by her loyal friend, WatWise GoshOgee, and the Partnership of the Peanut was formed. Thus began their fateful journey.

Please be sure to stay tuned for part II,  Lord of the Wings - The Two Terrors.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Cheerful In Spite Of It All

Since Wednesday's Words of Wisdom occurred on Thursday this week, it only makes sense that being cheerful has to come on Friday.  I may be late, but at least I'm systematic.  So, what to be cheerful about amidst all this white.  Let's see now.  Though there have been some who were obviously quite confused by the weather ...

... and some that wanted in where it was warm ...

(I do apologize for the blur, but at least you can tell it is a bird.  This little fellow went around to each window in the house.)

And though our beloved goat toys are buried ...

... I grudgingly admit it is beautiful ...

Of course there are some who seem to manage cheerfulness, despite the cold.  Like this Fox Sparrow ...

... and this Spotted Towhee ...

... and the Varied Thrush taking full advantage of those apples still left on the tree ...

But the Few and the Faithful aren't too thrilled at having to navigate the deep snow ...

... and then, exhausted, sit like frozen decoys ...

I suppose we can be cheerful and thankful that 40 degree temperatures are supposedly on the way ...

And there is a bit of happiness in seeing the warm glow of light as frigid night envelops the world ...

... and we are safe and warm within.  But even though I am supposed to be cheerful, I'll leave you with this metaphor for my mood ...

Now, be sure to get on over to Planet Penny, here, and see what others are managing to be cheerful about this week!  And do try not to trip in the snow.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thursday Words of Wisdom

What?!  Thursday Words of Wisdom?  I do have an excuse:

This is sort of what it looks like now - minus the blue sky.  Because, actually, this picture was taken two days ago.  And though we didn't get the huge amounts that Olympia did yesterday, we still got snow.  And we had a head start.  Last night the weathermen said the snow had stopped, but freezing rain was on its way.  NOAA said, 'mostly cloudy'.  Guess what?  Across the sound they are getting freezing rain.  Here?  More snow.  I guess you could say that it is 'mostly cloudy'.  It just happens to be mixed with white flakes.  Sort of like Boo is black, but if you look closely she's 'mostly black' with dandruff.

Since they said the snow had stopped, the Goatmother decided to laboriously shovel out a place for Cabra.  Why, you ask?  Well ...

... and ...

How does one pee in this?

Veeery carefully.

Of course the Mighty Quinn has longer legs and magic hair.  For whatever reason, the snow just doesn't stick to him.

What?!  The snow doesn't stick to me?  All-rightey then!

Woo hoo!

Oyy-kay.  Definitely not on my list of priorities.  So here's the thing, and Thursday's late Words of Wisdom.  No matter how short or tall you are.  No matter how magic your hair, DO NOT go out in the snow.  Never EVER trust it.  After all, who knows where it's been?

Marigold!  Come on out here!  This snow is just so beautiful!

Put a sock in it, Goatmother!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Few, The Faithful ...

Twelve out of sixty?  Not bad.  Those others?  I wouldn't show my face either if I had caused all this.  Come to think of it, I wouldn't show my face in this, period.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Guess What?

Yes, I am in there.  Somewhere.  I am NOT, however, coming out to prove it.  This was *supposed* to be 'one-half inch possible', but ever since those Woolly Boogers quit NOAA, it is my belief that NOAA has been reduced to looking out the window.  Obviously they had not looked out the window in awhile.

Nonetheless, though we goats are not enamored with the snow, there are those who are.

Which, after deciding that she could actually move with that brown thing on her body, resulted in many of these:

Doggie crop circles.

After awhile the sun came out - after all, this is Sequim - and things looked pretty nice.  (And I say *looked* because you don't think I was actually going to step outside to get a better look, do you?)

This morning when the Goatmother came out to the barn, we only had a trace of the white stuff on the ground.  The Goatmother decided it was a good time to trim Ella's hooves.  Only the Goatmother would decide such a thing.  I mean, there was only a trace of snow out there, so of course it was a perfect time.  Oy.  The boys were unceremoniously thrown out of the barn so as not to interfere.  The project took a bit longer than expected because for once, Ella, usually Miss Goody-Two-Hooves about getting her feet trimmed, was NOT, it would seem,  in a cooperative mood.  By the time the Goatmother was finished, she looked up to see that it was snowing.  Heavily.  The boys now sported a thick layer of snowy insulation. 

So, do I blame it on Ella or do I blame it on the Goatmother?  Decisions, decisions.  I choose ... the ducks!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Reasons To Be Cheerful (When Everything is SO Dull.)

I don't know about you, but I think La NiƱa should've stayed in Mexico, or Spain, or Brazil, or wherever she came from.  This is the most boring weather I've ever encountered.  Not that I've encountered that much weather, I guess.  I am only five.  Nonetheless, weather here, B-O-R-I-N-G.

So, with that in mind, it seems doubly important to find something to be cheerful about this week.  Be sure to pop on over to Planet Penny, here, to see how others are dealing this week.  Hmmm ... I see that Penny is on No. 11.  I think I'm only on 8, and I was cheerful at least twice through the holidays when she wasn't, so I must've slept through a couple somewhere.  Or maybe it was alien abduction.  Yes, that's probably it.  Please excuse me while I check for any extra holes.

All-rightey then!  Reason No. 1 to be cheerful this week:

... and ...

These are the Snow Jars.  That would be because that is almost literally what they are.  The lady who made them, used old glass jars and then used a sponge with white paint to dab the outside.  She then painted the cute faces, filled them with miniature lights, and topped them with little hats.  The first one's hat is actually a knitted wine bottle bag, and the second one's hat is a red sock.  Aren't they cute?  And since there is nothing inherently 'Christmas' about a snowman, they get to stay out to cheer the place up.  I wanted one in the barn, but the Goatmother said nothin' doin'.  I really don't understand why not.  She has two.

Anyway, on to reason No. 2 (or is that 3?):

This is the Goatmother's fish tank.  Let me ask you, have you ever tried to take a picture of fish in an aquarium?  Seems like the camera wants to focus on everything but the fish.  Anyway, the Goatmother got the aquarium for Christmas last year, and it has been making everyone feel all tropical ever since.  Tropical comes in really handy right now.  I want one of these in the barn, too, but do you think she will let me have one?  Oy.

So, that leaves us with reason No. 3 (or 4, depending on how you choose to count them):

No, this is not an invasion of the aliens who probably abducted me and then erased my memory with that flashy-thingy.  At least we get to participate in this bit of cheerfulness, although I am not really sure we want to.  These are some of the wild ducks that follow the Goatmother around so she will feed them.  It started out when one pair of ducks had ducklings in the pond.  The Goatmother decided she ought to give them a little grain.   You know, just to help them grow.   They grew up all right, and came back with all their relatives in tow.  I suppose I don't mind too much. Watching their waddling antics is rather cheerful, albeit sometimes a bit noisy.  I do wish some of that grain would fall over on our side of the fence once in awhile, though.  Oh, well.  The Goatmother enjoys them, and anything that keeps the Goatmother sane and in a good mood really is a good thing in the long run.  I do wish, however, the ducks had that same affect on Ella.  She could use a good mood once in awhile.

Oh, well, as I said, be sure to visit Planet Penny!  May your week be of the most cheerful variety possible and Alpine free!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Wednesday Words of Wisdom - Sage Recommendations Continued

So, then, it is time for me to continue with my sage recommendations for the New Year.  You may recall that I presented No.s 1 and 2 last Wednesday.  And if you missed it, well, then I guess you will be hopelessly lost.  Just kidding.

Now then,
No. 3 -  Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. –   (Well, Goat Grief!  No self-respecting goat would ever do this.  Certainly no Alpine would.  Come to think of it, it is possible a Nubian might, though.  Mostly because they forgot what their needs were and exactly where they put them.)  The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. (Okay.  I already know I'm special.  As far as losing one's self, well, I'm always quite sure where I am.  However,  I am not so sure about Nubians.  Nubians never know where they are.  For them, it is kind of a moot point.  And, the only one an Alpine could love too much would be themselves.  So if you aren't one of the above, I guess this bit of advice could be useful.)   Yes, help others; but help yourself too. ( You know what is coming here, right?  I always help myself to whatever I can.  It is The Way, Grasshopper. )  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. (This is correct.   Peanuts.  NOW!)

No. 4 -  Stop trying to be someone you’re not.(Okay, now just who else would I be?  Cleopatra?  No, wait.  I've got it!  Meryl Streep!  That woman can be anyone!)  One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. (Really?  I didn't realize I was supposed to be like anyone else.  Why would anyone want to be like someone else?  Especially an Alpine.  Who'd want to be like an Alpine?  Having all kinds of picky snits and pushing everybody around.  No, I can't say I think that would be a very good idea at all.)  Someone will always be prettier (Kind of goes without saying, doesn't it?), someone will always be smarter  (Well, I don't know.  I might have to draw the line at this one.),  someone will always be younger  (This one is kind of stupid.  How many babies are born in the world every minute?  Oy.),  but they will never be you  (Well, D-U-H.).  Don’t change so people will like you. (Wouldn't dream of it.)  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. (Wow.  That's convenient.  Who knew?)

No. 5 - Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. (Oh, now this is some sound advice!  This is like one of those nights when you are trying to read and the goat next to you is chewing their cud so loudly you keep reading and re-reading the same sentence over and over again.  Besides, if you stay on the same chapter, how are you ever going to figure out 'who dunit'?)

So there you have it.  I did three today, because, really, I wouldn't want to be responsible for you staying on the same chapter and not getting on with your life.  I could never live with the guilt.  Stay tuned, however.  I will finish this ... eventually.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sunday and This and That

Hay!  It is Sunday and guess what?!  I know you are probably on your guard now, much like we are when the Goatmother tromps out to the barn and utters that phrase.  Thankfully, it is nothing akin to that.  I merely want to tell you that the sun is shining!!!!   More or less, anyway.  It does duck behind a cloud every once in awhile, but still, the fact remains that the sun is shining.   Can you believe it?  Western Washington, January, and the sun is shining.  Who knew it was possible?

I have to admit I am rather happy about it, though.  At least I was.  So what happened to mar my enthusiasm, you ask?  Well, it is like this.  Everything was going along so well when suddenly there was a blinding flash of light.  Everyone ran to the barn.  What was it?  Did an asteroid hit the front yard?  Did the Goatfather spontaneously combust from sitting too long in front of the computer?  Perhaps it was one of those 'close encounters' and we'll all wake up having lost two or three days.  Or maybe even two or three years!

In fact, it was none of those things.  It seems the Goatmother looked out, saw the sunshine and decided she needed to take advantage and get as much Vitamin D out of it as possible.  After all, just this morning the Goatfather found where a new study had linked depression to a lack of Vitamin D. Striking while the iron was hot, she flew out the door, plopped down on the bench and rolled up her pant legs.  Let me repeat that, just in case you missed it.  She rolled up her pant legs.   "Marigold!", she hollered.  "What are you doing in the barn?  Come on out here!"

I will, Goatmother.  Just as soon as you dim the light. 
Perhaps, after all,  there is hidden value in leaden skies.

Friday, January 6, 2012

The After-Christmas Doldrums and Being Cheerful Anyway

I know, I know.  I'm late.  Again.  I think it is starting to become a habit.  I suppose that's okay.  Others look good in habits, like say a nun.  Although they don't wear habits anymore ...

Marigold!  Stop!

Oh, right.  Sorry.  I guess I have the after-Christmas doldrums.  Do you?  You know, that feeling of emptiness.  Oh, wait.  That's hunger.  Okay, that feeling of there being a void in your life?  No.  That's when there are no Peanuts.  Well, shoot.  You know that feeling I'm talking about, don't you?  

Anyway, it has been so dull and gray here.  Rain, wind, more rain, more wind, then just more gray.  Harumpff!  Well, no matter.  I'm going to be cheerful anyway.  Besides, Penny over at Planet Penny, here, is finally back to being cheerful, so I simply have to link up and put in my two cents.

So, let's see.  What am I cheerful about.  Well, even though the weather has been so grumpy, it has been unseasonably warm and all the plants are becoming confused.  At least they are trying to lend a little color to the surroundings:


And with all the wet weather, there are strange, alien-like plants springing forth.  They are kind of cheery:

And, of course, the Goatmother is cheerful because of this:

I know.  Why get excited about a little run-of-the-mill pine tree, right?  I have to say, though, that the Goatmother is so stoked because this is, in fact, a Sugar Pine (Pinus lambertiana), sent to her by her friend in Oregon.  This pine bears the longest cones of any conifer and is rarely seen outside its native range because they are notoriously difficult to transplant.  But the Goatmother has three that have actually survived and are finally beginning to thrive!  Go little pine trees!

And lastly, I am cheerful because of this:

Lovely apples still clinging to the tree like forgotten Christmas ornaments.  Soon they shall be mine.  Oh, yes!

So even though the Goatmother took down our decoration.  And even though we ate it.  There is still a lot to be cheerful about.  Be sure to hop on over to Planet Penny and see how others are dealing with those nasty doldrums!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Halloooo!  Here it is Wednesday again!  And a new year to boot!  So I've been standing out on my stump and considering what wise thing I could come up with to start off  2012.  Obviously I am going to have to do something to keep up with the Goatmother and the Goatfather.  Anyway, as I stood mid-rumination, I began to think about a list of sage recommendations for life recently sent to me by a friend.  This would be the perfect platform - well, actually the perfect platform is my stump, but that is rather hard to wax wisely upon.  So I began to consider that I might take a couple of these each Wednesday and sort of present them with a  little Caprine acumen.  You know, kind of a goatly spin.

Now, the first recommendation is this:  Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. (Grant you this may be, and is quite likely true.  Still I can't help but note that sometimes one simply does not have a choice.  Take my situation for example.  Here I am stuck in the same pasture, pen, what-have-you, with Ella.  Now I can't say that Ella really sucks the happiness out of you.  It's really more akin to knocking the happiness out of you.   There you are, minding your own business, happily going for a Peanut or a nice blade of grass and WHAM!  At best you find yourself a few feet away from where you started, at worst, and especially if you happen to be Watson, you find yourself looking at the world upside down.) If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  (Nor can I say that this is strictly true.  They might not want you in their life, or you might just be standing next to Boo and there quite simply is no room.  For anyone.  Or anything.) You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. (Now this I will agree with wholeheartedly.  I think I ought to be able to just stand there and let the Peanuts come to me without anyone getting in my way.  Without anyone else getting any Peanuts either, come to think of it.)  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends. (And that means that should you happen to figure out how to escape over the fence or get through the gate going into the barn, everyone else ought to be right there with you.  There is safety in numbers.  Besides, no one can really tell who the guilty party is that way.)

Now the second life recommendation is this:   Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  (I can tell you that a goat always follows this rule.  Or maybe it should say 'head to head'.)  No, it won’t be easy.  (Especially if the other goat is bigger than you or has a harder head.)  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. (True.  Just ask Watson.)  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. (Well, I don't know about that, but maybe that is why it is important to have a stump.)   That’s not how we’re made. (Of course not.  Only God knows that.  Or perhaps cloners.  They might know.)  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. ( Just ask Watson or any other fainting goat.  Or somebody who has lived with an Alpine.) Because that’s the whole purpose of living (Wait!  I thought is was to eat Peanuts.) – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become. (  I suppose this is true, although I don't think I've ever seen a moldy goat.  Oh, wait!  I think there is one from Oregon over at Herron Hill Farm where I was born.)

So, there you have this week's installment.   What a nice way to begin 2012.  Don't you feel better? As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  I rather like that idea.

Monday, January 2, 2012

And So It Begins ...

Yesterday was the 1st day of 2012.  Can you believe it?  Anyway, the Goatmother and Goatfather decided to start the new year out right.  Enter what you see below ...

You may remember (or maybe you don't) that the Goatmother, Goatfather, and that sickly Little green UnDead visited their favorite restaurant in Port Townsend last Halloween - all dressed up.  Well, the Goatmother was dressed up.  The Goatfather was *sort* of dressed up.  In case you have slept since then, you can refresh your memory here.  Anyway, as you can see above, On New Year's day, Sweet Laurette's hosted their annual Pajama Brunch.  Come in your jammies and don't forget your slippers.  So, naturally, the Goatmother and Goatfather thought this would be the perfect way to start off a new year.  Make a complete fool of yourself and be sure to have lots of witnesses.  You really have to wonder about some folks.

So, New Year's day dawned not so bright, and the Goatmother trotted out to the barn earlier than normal.  We knew something was up right away when she said, "Guess what?", because if you know the Goatmother, you know that she is rarely in any shape to mutter anything at that time of the morning, let alone ask a question. We all came to immediate attention because an alert Goatmother at daybreak has to be some kind of omen.  "I'm going to breakfast in my pajamas!!", she announced.  Hokaaay ...  So shortly after returning to the house, this is how she looked:

As you can see, even the Mighty Quinn looks a bit embarrassed.  I mean just look at those ladybug slippers. (Excuse me while I interject a question here to my friends Mimi and Darla ... Do you recognize the material in that nightgown?)  At any rate, you can tell just how contrived this all was because I'm here to tell you the Goatmother's hair NEVER looks like that when she gets up. 

Anyway, not to be outdone, the Goatfather actually entered into the spirit of things.  Maybe it was just a wee bit to the extreme, but I'll let you be the judge.  Here is a shot of him getting into the truck in uptown Port Townsend:


Legs.  Who knew he had any?

Now here is the really unfortunate part of this whole affair.  As the Goatmother and Goatfather walked into the restaurant and were waiting to be seated, these lovely ladies (also in their pajamas) ...

... caught sight of the Goatfather and broke into applause.  Must've been the legs, but there will certainly be no living with him now.  I suppose it does need to be said that he was the only male present with enough nerve to come in his PJ's.

Soon the Goatmother and Goatfather were seated, and owner and Chef extraordinaire, Laurette, (seen in the pajamas with the bright green top, below), set about walking through the tables handing out freshly made Beignets.  (Why, oh why, do I not wear pajamas?)

After a wonderful brunch, the Goatmother and Goatfather walked out and down the street, only to turn and find another adventurous PJ-clad soul hollering, "Wait!  I want to take your picture!"  Since turn about is fair play :

Hay!  She had little New Year's champagne glasses all over her PJ top!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  You just gotta' love Port Townsend.

I hope your new year is off to an adventurous start.  But  I gotta' tell you, if this is the beginning, what in the world is the rest of the year going to be like?  Oy.