"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, February 18, 2013

What Do You Do ...?

... when you don't have anything to say?  What?!  Marigold with nothing to say?  That isn't possible, is it?  Well, I suppose it is.  On occasion.  I've been really busy.  Eating.  And searching for Peanuts.  Well, maybe waiting for Peanuts is a more apt description.  And pondering.  I've been pondering a lot.  Mostly about what to say.

Anyway, the Goatmother and Goatfather recently went out for Chinese food and did not invite me.  However, it got me to thinking about Fortune Cookies.  I'm not sure why.  Perhaps because I'm bored, but anyway, that is what I was thinking about.  And then I began to think wouldn't it be wonderful if you got fortunes in Peanuts?  I mean just think of it.  Crack open that shell and there it is!  A recipe for life.  Or not.  Might depend on whether you eat the Peanut shell and all, but I'm just pointing out that the possibility is there.

'So what kind of fortunes would be good?', I thought to myself.  And myself answered, 'Well things that are relevant to goats, of course, you ninny.'  (Myself tends to get out of line sometimes and I am forced to butt it back into shape.)  So anyway,  first I thought it would be a really good idea to put in a few fortunes that Alpines might find relevant.  These, naturally, would be put into the smallest Peanuts.  This isn't because I'm stingy.  Really.  It is just that Alpines tend to subscribe to the Wal-Mart Principle - quantity instead of quality, and gain by volume.  So here are a few I thought might be good:

1)  Something you lost will soon turn up.  Or not, since if you lost it, I will have found it by now.
2)  Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome.  Instead you will be left completely alone.
3)  Don't ask, don't say.  Everything lies in silence.  So be quiet.
4)  Fame, riches and romance are yours for the asking.  But not Peanuts.  They are for the rest of us.
5)  A friend is a present you give yourself.  So give yourself to yourself and leave the rest of us alone for a change.

And then I thought it might be nice to include a few fortunes the Nubians could benefit from:

1)  You will soon remember who you are and what you were doing.  Maybe.
2)  It takes more than good memory to have good memories.  Either way you are in trouble.
3)  Intelligence is the door to freedom and alert attention is the mother of intelligence.  I am so sorry for your loss.
4)  You will not be alarmed by hats.
5)  When you look down, all you see is dirt, so keep looking up.  But not too far up or you will fall down.

Then there should be at least a few fortunes included for the rest of us.  Things like:

1)  You will have unexpected great good luck.  All the Peanuts will come to you.
2)  There is a true and sincere friendship between you and your friends.  One which causes them to want to give all their Peanuts to you.
3)  Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.  You bet your sweet bippy it will.
4)  Something you lost will soon turn up.  Probably that Peanut that fell as a result of the Alpine Picky Snit that has somehow managed to remain spit free and clean.
5)  As the Peanut Jar is emptied, the heart is filled.  And so is the stomach.

Oy So, Grasshopper.

Friday, February 8, 2013

A Hairy Update 2

The Goatmother went to a hairdresser.  Actually, she went to a brand new hairdresser because while she was away her old hairdresser retired.  The nerve of some people.  Anyway, the Goatmother doesn't look like Letterman any more.  Her mood has improved greatly, for which I am exceedingly grateful, and  she actually went out of the house yesterday without a head covering for the very first time in 8 months.  February 7th is an auspicious day, I say.  Her hair is still short, mind you, and her head still gets cold, but, hey, the possibility is there.  And real.  And she doesn't look like Letterman.  Now she looks a little more like Ann Hathaway.  Life is good.

" And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair ." - Khalil Gibran

Okay, well, the wind may have to wait just a bit longer.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A Hairy Update

When the Goatmother first lost her hair, she didn't go completely bald.  Everything fell out except a few strands of gray and she looked like the Crypt Keeper.  Then later, when it finally started to grow back, she looked like Frank Sinatra as an old man.  Well, since we published the New Year's Resolution picture, it has grown.  Some.  And it has become unruly.  Just like us goats.  Un-Rul-EE.  (I am not sure why she says this at all.  I would say it is more like joie de vivre.) 

Anyway, it curls.  It is not a nice curl.  It is Un-Rul-EE.  And it doesn't curl everywhere.  Take for instance the back of her head.  It is flat.  No curl.  Just flat.  So today, the Goatmother decided she might actually try to blow dry her hair using a small rounded brush in an attempt to tame the Un-Rul-EE-ness of her tresses.  Or at least what passes as tresses these days.  And guess what?  She doesn't look like Frank Sinatra as an old man anymore.  Nope.  Now she looks exactly like Letterman.  And no.  She says she is most assuredly NOT posting a picture.  Oy.

“If what you've done is stupid, but it works..then it really isn't all that stupid.” - David Letterman

Or is it???

Sunday, February 3, 2013


Demands are sometimes worth their while.  We are watching the SuperBowl.  THIS barn is now demanding Doritos.  No one can say there isn't power in advertising.  I'm just sayin' ...