"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, November 12, 2007

What's In Your Future?

Have you ever noticed that you've never seen a Psychic Friends Network for goats? Why IS that? I can think of quite a few instances where this sort of thing could come in quite handy. For example, it might be useful to know just exactly where that missed Peanut fell into the hay so it doesn't have to be sacrificed to some undeserving mouse. Or, it might be nice to know just exactly when the goatmother is going to decide to get up and get out to the barn to distribute Peanuts or hay, and one might have time to get their taste buds primed and knock any would-be usurpers out of the way. Or it might serve to help solve the occasional odd mystery that occurs around here. To be sure, it might prove beyond useful to some poor soul like Watson. I mean if he had known ahead of time the neighbor was going to come up the drive astride that raucous John Deere, it might have spared him the full faint that sent him with all four feet straight out rolling down the hill. Useful. Yes. A very useful skill.

So, I have decided to become the very first psychic goat in a modest effort to fill the gap. What can I say? I'm very civic-minded. Plus, I am not without talent. Being adept at philosophizing sort of predisposes one to perceive the true nature of things. And, really, that is all that is necessary - a sharp, observant mind and a faith in one's own perceptions and feelings. I believe that is me in a Peanut shell!

Of course I expect to encounter 'disbelievers'. Take Boo for example. She is a Nubian and believes only in scientific fact. Unfortunately, her idea of scientific fact runs somewhere along the lines of 'food in = food out'. Oy. To Boo, a dropped Peanut represents no problem because she believes that there will ultimately be another to take its place. Psychically speaking, however, I know that supply will be sporadic and there will NEVER be enough. After all, I am not only psychic, I am a realist (not to mention a connoisseur).

In retrospect, I should have decided to start this yesterday. We just came out of a severe storm with some places near us reaching winds from 40 to over 90 miles per hour! The goatfather's little station at 'the big house', measured 46 mph and electricity was out all the way to the coast for nearly 12 hours. This made it REALLY difficult to pick out the good pieces of hay because it was dark in the barn. It made it even more difficult to grab the Peanuts without dropping them when they were passed out. Plus, with no electricity, the pump wasn't running and there was no water - not to mention the lack of 'facilities' ( for which the goatmother could not lay blame, this time, on her aunt). If I had been with the program a little sooner, I could have tuned in and seen this coming, or at the very least paid a little more attention to those last valiant Woolly Boogers I saw running for cover. At any rate, I am resolute now. Do you suppose 1-800-MARGOLD is already taken? Ah, yes! I sense that it should still be available!

By the way, if you haven't yet entered your location in the poll, please be sure to do so! Oh, yeeeessss... I am feeling there are more of you out there...


The Sweet Pea said...

Dear Marigold,
The Dirty Sisters have been trying to reach you for
psychic help.......
They keep calling
1-800- MARGOLD but no one answers says Boogie & Bhodhi.
The Sweet Pea

Marigold said...

I have been assured it works. However, that being said, it is 3 Peanuts a minute. Perhaps their payment will not fit into the slot?

The Sweet Pea said...

Bahhh Ha ha ha!
Those Dirty Sisters were trying to call without paying up with the peanuts!!