"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Or So They Thought

Yesterday morning the temperature was in the 40's. The daffodils were singing (yes, singing!), the birds were chirping, the trees were flaunting their spring fashion collection. A lovely picture to be sure. It was lovely until the goatmother conned the goatfather into helping with trimming the hooves of Boo and myself. She claims we are difficult. Hmpf.

Well, let me tell you, I tricked her! Yes, indeed! You see, normally the goatfather has to literally lift us onto the stand. Not such a mean feat when it comes to me, but he certainly has to flex his manly muscles to get Boo up there. This time, however, I simply jumped right up there on the stand. SURPRISE! Now mind you it was all just a ruse. I simply wanted them to think it was going to be easy
. They were so delighted they began plying me with Peanuts - lots and lots of Peanuts! But once they were lulled into a false sense of security, I hit them with the big guns. First I kicked the goatmother while she was working on a back foot. Then I contemplated biting her butt while she was working on a front foot. That darned goatfather saw it coming, though, and foiled my attempt. Oy and darn. I am proud to say in the end I upheld my image - Marigold the Marauder.

Okay, well, that was the morning. I think the Great Goat God in the sky must've seen what I did because by afternoon it clouded over, the temperature sank and it started snowing! I suppose He thought to cool me off and put a freeze on my contemptible activities. By morning the temperature had hit 26 Peanut-chilling, behind numbing degrees. Oy and double Oy.

Oh, well, it is said, "
Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference." - Cesare Pavese. I just care - a LOT.

PostScript: The daffodils are no longer singing ... They have learned to say 'Oy'.


Da Bean said...

Well it was cold!!

Melodie said...

I think you may should be thanking the goatfather for stopping you from biting the goatmothers butt! I have a feeling that things might have really started going down hill after that!

Marigold said...

Dear Melodie,
Yes, I suppose. But it is such a LARGE target.

Millie said...

What a brave foolish goat to think of biting the goatmother. That's hard to forgive, but a little push in the behind--that's forgiveable.

Claire MW said...

Marigold, you are very naughty indeed. I use a "deck chair" for trimming my goat's feet and they have no choice in the matter. They can't kick or do anything because they are upside down. You ought to behave better, given that you are allowed to stay upright. You give goats a bad name. Shame!

goatgirl said...

Marigold where is the girly girl in you? Stand still for your manicure!

Marigold said...

Dear Claire,
Although the goatmother wants to know about this 'deck chair' method, I do not. Is this like tipping the body backwards like they do sheep? I would never stand for that - even for a Peanut.

Unknown said...

trying to bite goat mothers arse takes alot of nerve. i've heard of my human being bit on the head and arm several times by a naughty goat but never her arse. you should get peanuts for being brave enough to try.

frank the "i stole geralds blog" sheep

Child Of God said...

Oh Marigold, where is the angel in you? Be kind to your poor goatmother and goatfather...after all, they've given you everything you've got! Trimming your hooves is vital to being a healthy goat!