"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Monday, June 21, 2010

The 7 Wonders of the World

Everyone knows about the 7 Wonders of the World. These are, in fact, a representation of the most spectacular things in the world. Apparently there have been several lists of these spectacular things made over the ages, the first based on guide books that were popular with Hellenic sight-seers. Now who would have thought that anybody back then would've had the time to run around looking at things, let alone putting together sight-seeing brochures. Weren't they all waaay too busy plundering, pillaging, and conquering?

Well, anyway, I guess the Greeks came up with the number 7 because it was supposedly the number of 'perfection and plenty'. Come to think of it, I guess 7 Peanuts isn't really a bad number, so maybe they were on to something. At any rate, they didn't really call them 'wonders' back then either. Their word was apparently, thaumata, which supposedly means something more like 'things to be seen'. Now that makes more sense to me. Take a break in between conquerings to go about and see a few things. Heaven knows you wouldn't have time while the conquering was going on - far too busy looking over your shoulder I should think.

So with that little bit of background, I humbly present to you the 7 Wonders of the World - at least as far as I could figure them out. But, hey!, what do I know? I'm just a goat, and not even a Greek goat at that.

Now, first, we have the revered Great Peanut Pyramid of Geezers. Many old men took an inordinate amount of time to create this magnificent wonder. Time well spent on a worthwhile project, if you ask me. Keeps them off the streets too.

The Hanging GardenHose of BigLots. Need I point out to you the importance of this wonder?
Statue of NoUse in the Olympics. Not useful, but looks nice, I suppose - even though that is my stump he is using for a pedestal. Oy. The wonder here is that I haven't yet butted him the hay off it!

Temple of Absorption at Ignoramus. Evident here is the wonder that this sign ever made it onto the Temple. Witness the tell-tale backwards 'N's. Oy. Sometimes it takes a village. Sometimes it only takes one.

The Mousoleum of MouseSolos at HaveASnackOnUs. I am wondering if he's found any Peanuts in there.

Lighthouse of Alexander. I don't know who Alexander is, but this is his lighthouse. And, if it's a lighthouse I wonder why the light isn't on? Perhaps Alexander is one bulb shy.

And last, but certainly not least by any sense of the word, a wonder that requires no explanation - none other than:
The Colossus of Blyn.


Kathy in KY said...

Great post, Marigold! Hey, send some of those peanuts over here - my Sarah Kitty is having nightmares again! Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. Love the peanuts pile by the old geezers.

Kathy in KY said...

Excuse me . . . I mean - Great Pyramid of Geezers - sounds much better than pile of peanuts, I know. Take care, from KY.

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Maybe the backwards N is really the Russian vowel И. That's pronounced "eeeeeeeeeee." I know these things because I'm a Siberian, afterall.


Marigold said...

Dear Turbo,
I think the backwards 'N' had more to do with whoever made the sign having been in the Wine Garden beforehand.

Millie said...

Truly very insightful. I must make time to journey around after conquering the barnyard. I would most like to see that Great Peanut Pyramid.

goatfarmer said...

Jehosophat. Between the Colossus and the NoUse I wonder what you are eating. Or what you are NOT eating I guess. Sacre bleu.