"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

National Symbol

Now look at this. The goatmother and goatfather went down to the local marina, in the snow mind you, and this is what they saw. Actually there were four of them. I don't get what all the excitement is about. In the first place, who in their right mind would go out in the snow? And, really, so what? It's an Eagle, our 'National symbol'. What's so great about an Eagle that it got picked to be our National symbol? Surely there were far better choices.

In my estimation, a goat would have been a much better representative of our great country. First of all, a goat has integrity, as do most of the inhabitants of this wonderful land. Well, most goats have integrity. Perhaps not Alpines. Come to think of it, not all inhabitants of our country have integrity either, so maybe it all comes out in the wash. Eventually. Well, okay. Maybe not.

Anyway, another reason why a goat would have been a better choice is that goats aren't picky. Well, most goats aren't picky. Our great country isn't picky either or we wouldn't have some of the functionaries we have. So, see? A goat would be a much better choice than some picky old Eagle who only eats fish. I mean, can you imagine an election year? "Excuse me M'am. Here is a stinky old fish. Please vote for me." Oy.

And let me tell you, goats have honor with a capital 'H'. Well, except for maybe Nubians who are mostly trying to figure out what it is and if it's edible or not. But all of us other goats have character, just like our beloved country. Believe me, there are just as many characters in the goat world as there are in the human world. Eagles? Not so much. You've see one Eagle, you've seen them all.

In addition, just as our country symbolizes things such as 'bravery', and 'freedom', so does the goat encompass these ideals. What could be more brave than one who stands in the face of constant T-boning. You never see Eagles flying sideways to avoid some other Eagle who got up on the wrong side of the barn, or happens to be an Alpine. And what could be more 'free' than allowing every one equal opportunity to the Peanuts? (Disclaimer: It can not be helped if there are those who are not as quick as others. The same opportunity is afforded all.) I know I've never seen an Eagle look over and say, 'Oh, look, there is a stinky old fish. Feel free to dive for it, if you like.'

At any rate, you can see why I believe it is a great injustice that the Eagle was chosen to be our National symbol when a goat would have been much more exceptional. The Eagle is 'adequate'. The goat is exemplary. If you ask me, some man long, long ago screwed up. Oy well. "Representation of the world, like the world itself, is the work of men; they describe it from their own point of view, which they confuse with the absolute truth." - Simone de Beauvoir.


Millie said...

Yes, goats should definitely be our national symbol. You've laid out the arguments most excellently.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

I'm quite sure this post needs to be submitted for a larger audience!

Perfect philosophy!


Claire MW said...

Well said! Lucky Nickel and I agree!

goatfarmer said...

eagle schmeagle why not a beagle. Thank you.