Hurry Up And Wait

What are you going to do?  The wheels of Medicine don't really move much faster than the wheels of Justice and we all know how slow those are.  So to pass the time, the Universe supplied the Goatmother with a rash in order to occupy her time.  As near as we can tell, it seems to have occurred courtesy of the surgical scrub, which just happens to have been the same thing she was given as a pre-surgery wash and to use after surgery.  Oh, my, such intense itching.  I fully expected to see the Goatmother scraping along the fences like a goat trying to get rid of a winter undercoat.  Thankfully the neighbors were spared and she stayed confined to the house.  Just let me say this:  a rainbow of blessings on the makers of Benadryl.  They may never know what they have done for the world.

But today, the surgeon called with the pathology report.  There was some very good news and some not so good news.  The good news is that the cancer was deemed Stage 1.  It was caught early and there was absolutely no sign of cancer cells in the lymph nodes.  The bad news is that the cancer was neither estrogen nor progesterone receptive.  We aren't exactly sure what that means.  I could have already told them the Goatmother ran out of hormones a long time ago.   But the surgeon did say this indicates  the cancer was very aggressive and thus chemotherapy will likely be required.  Oh, shoot.  We were hoping to avoid that part, but well, it is what it is, as they say.  It's all good, remember?.  Or maybe not, but at least it is doable.  Bald is beautiful, just ask the Goatfather.

I'd like to quote something that our friend, Mrs. Micawber, wrote to the Goatmother.  "In The Return of the King - when Gandalf and Pippin are standing on the balcony at Minas Tirith, looking across at the dark mountains and the smoky sky of Mordor, talking of the battle ahead. Gandalf says, "This is the deep breath before the plunge." (And Pippin replies, "I don’t want to be in a battle.  But waiting on the edge of one I can’t escape is even worse.")  None of us who haven't been through it can imagine what you're feeling right now, but we're standing on the balcony, taking the deep breath with you. Hang in there, and know that the thoughts and prayers of your friends go with you into the fight."  How beautiful is that?  (In fact, I couldn't have said it better myself - or maybe I could, but I didn't think of it.)

The fact of the matter is that once you receive that diagnosis; once your ears hear those words, it is with you forever.  Your life changes in an instant and you know that even though you make it through the initial battle, the threat of war is ever present from then on.  Not a pleasant thought, that, but luckily human beings are pretty resilient.  (Goats are better, but that's probably just because we have more legs and better eyesight.  Plus there is that ever-present lure of the Peanut ...)  And isn't the Goatmother lucky to have such wonderful friends?

Frodo: "I know what I must do, it's just that... I'm afraid to do it."
Galadriel : "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."