Behinder

Now there is an interesting word.  Behinder.  It is what we are.  You know that saying about 'I'm so far behind I don't know whether I've lost my Peanut or found a Goat'?  That's us.  We are so far behind that it may take the rest of our natural lives to catch up.  Or perhaps we may never catch up. 

Anyway, the Goatmother has 3 whole radiation treatments under her belt.  Well, maybe they aren't under her belt ...  Nothing is glowing yet though, so that's a good sign.  It's all good, remember?  The Goatmother says by the time she was finished being set up for the first treatment, her hands had begun to feel disembodied and she had no arms.  Cool.  Just in time for Halloween.  The treatment itself just took a minute.  Thankfully, subsequent treatments have been easier and faster.  And yet another pleasant surprise?   It turns out the treatments will be finished October 26th instead of October 29th!  Woo Hoo!  Small favors and all that!

All that aside, these every single day treatments are why we are so behind.  That kind of time commitment tends to cut way down on available daylight.  Nonetheless, the Goatmother and Goatfather went, yesterday, to their favorite restaurant in Port Townsend for lunch.  One has to eat, doesn't one?  I know I certainly do my part in that regard.  Aren't I special?

So the Goatmother and Goatfather went to Port Townsend, and they took Cabra and the Mighty Quinn along since it was a lovely, cool day.  They arrived and parked the truck on the corner in front of the quaint little flower shop with the beautiful old antique fence pieces in front.  They proceeded into the restaurant, sat down, ordered, and soon began eating their lunch.  Suddenly they noticed a police care pull up outside, and then a rescue unit showed up.  Hmmmm...  Pretty soon a big fire truck arrived along with more police.  What the hay???  So the Goatfather got up and went outside. When he returned,  he reported there was a car almost in the door of the flower shop.  Interesting.  Many curious onlookers soon began to appear.

After awhile, the Goatmother and Goatfather finished their meal and proceeded back to their vehicle.  The Goatmother got in, but the Goatfather went to the back because there were policemen and chairs directly behind.  He tapped a policeman on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, but don't step back.  We are going to be leaving."  At that the policeman turned and said, "Well, just a minute.  Let's see if we can assess the damage to your vehicle."  What????!!!!!

As it turns out, a 79 year old woman had either been trying to parallel park, or was trying to leave after having parked, in front of the Goatmother and Goatfather's truck.  Evidently she accidentally stepped on the accelerator with the car in reverse thinking it was in drive.  The car shot backward grazing the Goatfamily vehicle fender, taking out a 2 hour parking sign concreted into the sidewalk, and ending up at the side of the flower shop on top of the lovely pieces of antique fence and a table and chairs that will no longer be hosting any sitters.  The worst of it, however, was that a child ended up underneath the car.  Don't panic!  Miraculously, the child appeared unharmed but was sent to the hospital to be checked out anyway.

Guardian angels were working overtime on this one, folks.  The truck was simply grazed and not even enough worth mentioning.  The truck was virtually unharmed, the dogs were safe, and the child was unhurt.  Oddly the flower shop was unscathed, too, but I doubt you could have wedged a Peanut between it and the car.  The car, itself, ended up neatly between the building and a support post, touching neither.  Almost as though it had been parked there on purpose.  Miraculous, I tell you.

Personally I feel the halo of radiation emanating from the Goatmother likely set up some sort of force field.  Hey, maybe this radiation ain't so bad after all.  Come to think of it, I think I may ask her to hang around the barn awhile and see if it has any effect on Alpines.  You never know.

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump

I guess you could say the same about radiation.  Who knew?

The Happening

Sixty years ago a baby was born in a small town in Oklahoma.  Little did the unsuspecting world know what had been unleashed upon it.  Did I say sixty?  The big 6 - 0???  

Oy.

But it's okay.  There is hope.  I am living proof that Peanuts contain absolutely amazing age-defying properties.  They're even better than Oil of Oylay.  At any rate, do not fret, dear Goatmother.  "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Let Your Lights Shine

It's Labor Day, so I thought I'd take a little time out from eating to do some actual labor - like writing.  You didn't think I could do it, did you?  Hay, it is possible to write and snack at the same time.  You wouldn't want me to get weak from hunger or anything would you?  Anyway, today would have been the day for the next chemotherapy treatment, but since we are DONE with that, the Goatmother didn't have to go anywhere!  There you go, then.  I think one could say this is truly a holiday in every sense of the word.  WOO and HOO!!!!

So, the Goatmother is ready to go on to Part Deux.  I say 'ready', but I suppose no one is ever really 'ready' for such things.  Nonetheless, she has seen the fabulous Radiation Oncologist and things are underway.  Now I've never known the Goatmother to be much for going against the grain, but I dare say perhaps that has changed.  Why you ask?  Well, the Goatmother is now sporting a few tattoos, of all things.  What a rebel.  The problem is the tattoos are just dots.  Plain old dots.  Mind you she asked for dragonflies, or smiley faces at the very least, but no, they wouldn't go for it.  I ask you, wouldn't a smiley face make as good a target as a mere dot?  Better even, if you ask me.  Or they could have made tiny little Peanuts.  That would have been novel.  No imagination.  That's what I say.  Anyway, the Goatmother is now tattooed and ready to rock and roll.

So, for seven weeks, five days a week, the Goatmother will be zapped.  Something tells me the headlights are going to be glowing after that much input, but the fabulous Radiation Oncologist assures us such will not be the case.  I reserve the right to skepticism until I see for myself.  I mean this has to be akin to the time Boo was grazing too near the electric fence and forgot to pay attention where she put her ear.  Well, she didn't so much glow, but she sure left a jet trail, I can tell you.  If you ask me, the only reason she didn't glow is because she wasn't there long enough.  No, my friends, I think the Goatmother's headlights are definitely going to be on.  I'll be sure to let you know.

Anyway, we do have a little time before all the excitement begins.   September 11th.  That is D-Day.  One week of vacation.  That's what we have, and we are going to make good use of it.  For one thing, the Goatmother and the Goatfather are planning a day trip to the ocean.  I have to say I'm not too fond of the second thing the Goatmother is planning, however, and that is because there is a plan of hoof trimming in the offing.  Maybe she'll change her mind.  Hope does spring eternal, you know.

At any rate, this whole cancer thing is definitely a ride, though we certainly can't call it a 'joy ride'.  There is a quote that says, "Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way". -  E.L. Doctorow   That sums it up pretty well.  I'd say all we need to do is change the word 'writing' to 'radiation'.  What do you think? 

Post Script:  Flash!  It occurs to me the Goatmother will begin Radiation therapy on 9/11.  In light of historical events connected to this ominous day, we certainly hope the twin towers will remain intact.  I'm just sayin' ...

Still Here, Still Kickin' ...

Do you like this picture?  It has nothing to do with anything.  It is a Himalayan Impatiens (Impatiens glandulifera).  It is part of the Garden-Gone-Wild gardening plan in place here due to the temporary injunction against Goatmother Gardening.  Seems like it managed pretty well on its own, though.

So, like I said, it has nothing to do with anything.  This is my 500th post.  That has nothing to do with anything either.  Who knew a goat could have so much to say?  Well, whoever thought that obviously never met me.   I suppose this ought to be a momentous occasion, but  due to a lack of Peanuts I'm not feeling very momentous.  Oh, not that we've run out of Peanuts, mind you.  It is just that I haven't had enough of them.  Come to think of it, I never have enough of them, so maybe I am living in a perpetual non-momentous state.  Now there's something to think about.

Anyway, I'm sure you are all wondering about the Goatmother anyway.  Well, the Goatmother made it through the last of the chemotherapy treatments.  Now while she didn't have quite as awful a time as the last, cumulative effects have wrought their vengeance and there seems to be a bit more trouble coming out from under the spell.   I suppose you could say the Goatmother isn't feeling very momentous either.  We shall prevail, however, so never fear.

The next step?  Radiation.  We are not sure exactly when this will begin, only that it should commence some time in the next 3 or 4 weeks.  We are fully expecting the Goatmother to begin glowing, but I think we'll have to draw the line if she starts resembling a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.  ButterBean is bad enough without adding anything green and shell-like into the mix, thank you very much.

So, then, onward and upward!  Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in the ongoing saga against evil. 

"Perseverance is not a long race;  it is many short races one after the other" - Walter Elliot

You Just Never Know

A couple of days ago, a package arrived in the mail.  It looked like this:

Royal Mail?  What the hay could this be?  Well, as it turns out, it was a wonderful package from our friend Faith (click here to go to her blog) in Wales!  Included in the package was what you see below:

And let me tell you, it is a darned good thing they were included because the waterworks started  right away upon finding the rest of the contents.  So what was it that could elicit such a response, you ask?  It was none other than an effigy of the Goatmother's most beloved alter ego, which you can read about here, in case you missed out.  And not just any old effigy, but one lovingly wrought by the hand of one very skilled artist!  May I present what you see below:

Oh, it's a very cute crocheted doll, you say.  But I assure you, this is not just any crocheted doll.  Take a look at this, my friends :

Yep!  A purple cape with a big 'B' for none other than, ButterBean!!!  Here to bolster the Goatmother and just in the nick of time, for tomorrow will be the LAST chemotherapy treatment!  Now how timely is that?  Just like in the movies, the heroine shows up to save the day!  (We do have one small question for Faith ... why is ButterBean gray?  Is there something you know that we don't about when the Goatmother's hair grows back?  On the other hand, come to think of it, why does ButterBean have hair at all?   I'm just sayin' ...  Don't tell the Goatmother.  Oh, why am I cursed with this ratiocinative nature?)


Now, then,  I wouldn't want you to think this is all that was in that fabulous package from Wales (as if that weren't enough).  Did you see those three beautiful crocheted pansies at ButterBean's feet?  Aren't they lovely?  Still there is one more very special thing, and I will show it to you below:

Do you see what is on that card?  Why it is a VERY good likeness of one philosophically minded goat drawn by the hand of Faith's oldest son!  Now I would say that here is an artist in the making, wouldn't you?  So we thank him most kindly, as well as Faith's middle and youngest sons because, well, we just know they had a hand in helping with the whole project!


Just when we think people can't get any nicer and we can't get any luckier, the Universe has a way of showing us that we're not as smart as we think we are.  We are humbled yet again by the generosity and kindness of these friends, and so very many others.  Most simply, thank you.

So, on to the morrow.  It is not without a little trepidation that we enter this last bout with the Challenger, but we know we can do it.  So many others have and have had so much more to deal with.  So as Princess Leia said to Han Solo, 'A kiss for luck', and we're on our way. (Or was that The Carpenters?)

"Do or do not ... there is no try."  - Yoda

Setting A Baaad Example

This just gives us all a bad name.  Next thing you know,  all the Goatmothers, Maas, Goat Girls, Goat Guys and anyone else out there that lives with a goat is going to see this and EXPECT that kind of behavior.  Oy.  Not even for Peanuts, Goatmother!

Skateboarding Goat

Fear Not!

Haarroo ... uh ... err... cough ... ahemm ... Hello.  So sorry.  Peanut in the mouth. (You know how it is.  One has to keep up one's strength.)  Anyway, it has been awhile and that is because, *unfortunately*, the last round with the Challenger, was not nearly so kind to the Goatmother as before.  Well, it is what it is, and we are on the upswing now.  So remember?  It's all good!

The other *unfortunate* problem is that my stupid muse, Caprinope, has decided to go on vacation.   Again.  This year I believe it is Uzbekistan.  Are there goats in Uzbekistan?  Of course there are.  Goats are everywhere.  Like UPS.  And McDonald's.

Anyway, there was, recently another *unfortunate* occurrence.  I mean I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone, (especially any *unfortunate* Alpines),  but, really,  I simply can't help myself.  You see the Goatfather has dutifully been taking care of us for the Goatmother, and doing an admirable job I might add.  Things have been going smashingly.  Well, except for that one, small *unfortunatecy*.  (Wait.  Is that a word?  Never mind.  I say it is a word, so deal with it.  Besides, this whole thing is beginning to sound a lot  like Lemony Snickett anyway.)  So what happened was that Ella was on the stand because Ella is a hog and the Goatfather had put something in the grain bucket.  Since Ella was on the stand, the Goatfather saw it as an opportune time to check her hooves, reached over, and closed the latch on the headpiece.  Now there is one thing you need to understand about Ella.  Ella loves the Goatmother and will do just about anything the Goatmother asks (the Brown Nose).  But this was decidedly NOT the Goatmother.  It was the Goatfather.  Therefore Ella took exception when the Goatfather tried to pick up her hoof and kicked a mighty Alpine kick.  Normally this would only have elicited snickers from the, pardon me, Peanut gallery, but in this instance, when Ella kicked the mighty Alpine kick, she fell off the stand.  Which really wouldn't have been that big a deal, except her head was still locked in.

So Ella gave the mighty Alpine kick, fell off the stand head still locked in, and managed to scare the bejeebers out of herself and surprise the holy hay out of the Goatfather in the process.    Everyone else stopped in their tracks waiting for the pin to drop.  Instead all hayl broke loose and Ella took off out of the barn, full steam, headed for the pasture with the poor unsuspecting stand flailing along beside her.  At some point, the latch thankfully gave way, and the pas de deux came to an ungraceful end.  The much relieved stand gasped its last breath as its mercurial partner sped away.  If only we'd had the video camera.  Then we could have filmed the fiasco and tacked onto the credits at the end, 'No obnoxious Alpine was harmed in the making of this film'.  We could not, however, have made the same claim for the stand.  The Goatfather spent a good deal of the rest of that morning in resuscitation efforts.

Let this be a lesson to all unsuspecting persons (and stands) to always let sleeping, eating, or for that matter, doing anything, Alpines lie.   This public service announcement has been brought to you by the N.G.A.A A. (Normal Goats Against Alpine Attitude).

So this has been just a short note to let you know that we are still here, still going strong, and haven't run out of Peanuts. 

Amen.