"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Be All That You Can Be

I've been thinking - always a dangerous prospect in some regards. Nevertheless, I've been thinking. We are quite the eclectic herd. I believe the goatmother subscribes to that motto, 'Give me your tired (Boo), your poor (myself), your hungry... (well, let's face it...this includes most everyone here.)'. Anyway, ethnic diversity reigns supreme on these shores! Wikipedia states, "An ethnic group is a group (of people ) who identify with one another, or are so identified by others, on the basis of a boundary that distinguishes them from other groups. This boundary may take any of a number of forms -- racial, cultural, linguistic, economic, religious, political -- and may be more or less porous. Because of this boundary, members of an ethnic group are often presumed to be culturally or biologically similar, although this is not in fact necessarily the case."

So, I thought, let us examine this idea in the context of our situation. First, I suppose we need to get rid of that ridiculous part that says it must be a group 'of people'. Jumpin' Jehosagoat! How egotistic is that?! Goats can be ethnic. I mean we have a Nubian, a mini-Nubian, an Alpine, a Nigerian and a, well, a 'Myotonian'! And, we all identify with each other just like the definition says. (Well, I don't really 'identify' with Ella, but that is beside the point.)

The definition goes on further to say that a group is identified by others on the basis of boundary. We certainly have that, and our boundary even has electric wire! We have different 'races' (Ella usually wins, but that is only because her legs are the longest), and 'cultures' (I like my Peanuts fed by hand. Ella doesn't care how she gets them, as long as she gets them. Boo likes them, but often can't remember if she already had them or not. Watson only likes animal cookies. Mr. Peanut is very partial to milk at the moment.).

As far as 'linguistics' go, now there we have the corner on diversity. I, myself, rarely speak unless it is worthwhile, and then it is just kind of a small and quiet 'nnnnn'. Ella is miss machine gun voice, doing rapid-fire repeats any time she sees or hears the goatmother. Watson has a true 'maaaaaa', and is usually pretty persistent about it, particularly when animal cookies are involved. Little Mr. Peanut sounds like a dragon fly in flight. And, last but in no way least, Boo has all the vocal timbre of a sick elk and twice the volume! So, yes, I believe we have the whole 'linguistics' angle in the bag.

Now the last part talks about 'economics' , 'religion' and 'politics'. We can fit into those categories too. Economically we are vastly rich if you count our huge store of Sacred Peanuts. Admittedly we are a little low in the 'alfalfa' category, but that is just because everyone is on a diet right now. It won't last. (I hope...). Religiously we all wait every morning, noon and night for our ration of Peanuts. And let me tell you, we are VERY religious about it! Politically, well, Boo, as I have mentioned, *thinks* she's Queen, but I didn't vote for her. In fact, if I'd had my druthers I would probably have voted for the Mighty Quinn since his allegiance lies only with frisbees, stinky things and anything that moves. No competition for the Peanuts. That kind of thinking will ALWAYS get my vote.

Now the last little bit of this definition says that members are thought to be biologically similar, but that this isn't necessarily the case. Of course that isn't necessarily the case! Duh!!! I can assure you that I am in no way biologically similar to Watson. We just don't even want to go there. Why I'm not even biologically similar to Boo since I could not, in my wildest dreams, EVER be that *large*. So you see, it 'ain't necessarily so', just like the definition says.

Still, with all the cultural pluralism that exists in our diverse and eclectic group, we are a shining example of integration at it's finest. After we manage to get all the 'politics' out of the way and figure out who is where in the pecking order, we seem to manage pretty well as a team. Everybody ends up with their own Peanuts or animal cookies, their own hay, their own grain (not nearly often enough) and even their own space. After all, it is the American way to bring together the many, in unity, to become the one. E Pluribus Unum!!!

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