Things We've Learned About Hair Loss

Well, here I am!  I apologize for not keeping up very well, and I have a lot of things to post about, too!  Plus no one ever said I don't have anything to say.  The word verbose comes to mind, but I much prefer to think of it as imparting important philosophical knowledge.  Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Anyway, the Goatmother took her steroids today in preparation for tomorrow's impending Round 2 with Evander HolyCrap, The Chemo Cancernator.  Steroids kind of make the Goatmother the Super Hero of House Cleaning.   But this morning, it didn't seem like they were going to affect her all that much.  It was kind of like her body said, 'Hey.  Is this the best you can do?  My granny hits harder than this.'  But as the day wore on,  the cleaning effect reared its ugly head.   In fact we ought to give the Goatmother a new Super Hero sobriquet -  ScrubbyWoman.  (That woman is going to have a whole closet full of lettered capes before this over.)  But the worst part is that her recent hair loss, coupled with her penchant for steroid-induced cleanliness, now has her running around the house babbling,  'Mr. Clean.  What a HUNK!'  Oy.

Anyway, that's why I haven't posted.  Have you ever tried to type with someone constantly trying to clean your keyboard and your screen?  How about your hooves?  (Yeah, she did that too.)  It ain't easy.  Plus, just watching her completely wears me out.  It's kind of like watching the EverReady bunny get ready to go on vacation, only you know she isn't going to have nearly as much fun when she actually gets where she's going.

Now then, on with the subject of this post!  You thought I forgot,  didn't you?  I don't think so, Tim.  So, things we've learned about hair loss:

1)   Jaimie Lee Curtis saves a lot of money on hair products.

2)   It doesn't take nearly as much time to get ready to go anywhere.  Who actually knew blow drying and styling took so much time?

3)   Chemotherapy drugs  only seem to like dark hair.  This leaves anyone with 'platinum blonde highlights' (Thank you, Annie, for letting me borrow that! :)) now a completely natural 'platinum blonde'.  Only trouble is you don't get to look like Lady GaGa.  More like Frank Sinatra as an old man.  Or one of those people from the Zombie movies.  We figure maybe all that 'platinum' stuff that is left is being saved for that Round 2 with Evanader .   Or maybe not.  Who knows?

4)   Hair loss from Chemotherapy gives a whole new meaning to the term 'Brazilian'.   And trust me, it has nothing at all to do with folks who live in Brazil.

5)   For awhile, it is worth considering purchasing a 'Furminator'.  Plus it becomes somewhat a matter of one-ups-manship as to who can actually leave more hair on the floor - the dog or the human.  In this case, the human won, hands down.  Oops.  Maybe that should be hairs down.

6)   Scarves and big hoop earrings are a good match.  As is a sideline in palm or Tarot reading.

7)   When you have no hair, it can become evident that your mother left you lying on your back as a baby faaaar too long.  Flathead is not just a Native American Indian tribe.

8)  (And certainly not least)  Mr. Clean is the BOMB!  (Okay.  You knew that was coming.  I tried to warn you.  Really, I did.)

Okay, so before I sign off, there are a couple more matters of business to attend to.  ( I know.  Never end a sentence with a preposition.  Deal with it. )  First, you may notice in my side bar, that I have been honored with a prestigious award from Mimi Foxmorton, the Goat Borrower!  This award is from the Sisterhood of the Goat and we are MORE than proud to receive it.  Thank you a thousand fold, Mimi.  We are humbled.

Second, I want to recognize a dear lady and her goats.  She is the shy and retiring type and has asked not to be named, but OH!, she so deserves to be!  Still, to honor her wishes, I will not name her, and tell you only that she sent the Goatmother, in the mail, from clear across the country, the most BEAUTIFUL sack full of luscious red potatoes grown in compost from her lovely band of goaties.  (She also included , for moi, a sack full of the most delicious organic sugar coated cereal.  Swoon ... )  Now we are all aware of the 'chicken and potato' fetish the Goatmother has recently acquired, so you can well imagine that even MORE Kleenex were killed when this package arrived.  Thank you, dear lady!  You have no idea how much the Goatmother appreciates your thoughtfulness. 

So, okay!  Time to see if the steroids will allow the Goatmother to stop cleaning and actually go to sleep.  Please stay tuned because I still have to tell you about the World's Greatest Medical Oncology Nurse, and the World's Greatest Lymphedema Therapist!  Both have graciously consented to be on this humble Goat's blog.  So coming up!  Same time, same station!

"Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs." - Alice, Alice In Wonderland