"If providence did beards devise,
To prove the wearers of them wise,
A fulsome goat would then, by nature,
Excel each other human creature." - Thomas D'Urfey

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Happy Year of the Goat!!!!

Happy Year of the Goat!!!!!  Let the Peanut munching begin!!!!!!

Oh, sorry.  I got carried away.   Well, okay then.  Let me get back to the third and final installment of the Year of the Goat trilogy.  Doesn't that sound exciting?  I mean it is like you expect a goat to come marching out followed by Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli.  Hey, it could happen.  Unfortunately, around here all you're gonna' get is one beautiful goat followed by Arrogantform the Alpine, LegsofLess the Nigerian, and Gimpy the Nubian.

But back to my treatise on qualities abounding in Year of the Goatees.  Let's see now, where was I?  Oh, yes, I remember (which is thanks to the fact that I am only half Nubian and the Nigerian half won out.)  All Sunday Paper retrievals aside, the information I found goes on to say that 'due to their indecisive nature (Hay!  Indecisive?  Who is indecisive?  I know exactly what I'm about and it's all about the Peanuts.) goats like to study the esoteric to know more about the unknown.'  Well, OF COURSE!  Why do you think I like philosophy and why in the hay do you think I'm so blasted good at it?  Oy.  But esoteric?  Well, now, I can't see that I'm all that 'woo-woo'.  Llamas are more into the 'woo-woo'.  Ever look one in the eye?  Now that is esoteric.  And as for the unknown, there just isn't any unknown for a goat because we already know everything.  Just ask one.

At any rate, it goes on.  'They enjoy reading books about horoscope and fortune-telling.  Therefore, it will not be unusual to find Goats working as astrologers or fortune tellers.'  This is completely erroneous information.  I have never met one goat astrologer and the only fortune telling I've ever seen going on is when Ella looks up and says, 'today is not your lucky day'.   Let me tell you, literally every one in sight believes her prognostication and moves just as far away as possible.  Even the hordendous Ur Duck H'ai, in their ever growing masses, move.  It is written on the wind, grasshopper, that when the almighty Alpine speaks, it is to be assimilated and acted upon immediately.  No rumination necessary.  Or prudent for that matter.  In fact, even a moment's hesitation or indecision is downright stupid. (There goes that all important indecisiveness factor again. Now you understand, yes?  Indecisive?  Ain't gonna' happen.)

Year of the Goatees are also supposedly disorganized, but make good craftsmen, artists or writers.  Ahem.  NOT disorganized, but most definitely a good writer.  I'm just sayin' ...   (Disclaimer:  This statement does not apply to Nubians since they usually forget they were trying to write in the first place and eat the pen.  Trust me on this one.)

To quote the Chinese Astrological dudes, Year of the Goatees 'are very romantic, sensitive, sweet and darling.'  Well, gorsh.  'In relationships they could be sometimes a little bit bossy and lazy.'  Now wait just a goat-darn minute here.  Who exactly is bossy and lazy?  That is just offensive and I demand that you consider disregarding this information.  I'm just gonna' rest my eyes here while you are considering that.  Not napping, just resting my eyes ...

What, what???  Oh, you done?  Okay.  Well, then.  At least they end their synopsis by saying that Goatees are 'gentle and caring in nature and hard to resist.'  Darned right!  Resistance is futile and I care very much that you understand that.  Otherwise I may not get my Peanuts and I shall remind you with an ever-so-slight and gentle butt.  Yep.  Caring-and-Gentle-R-Us

So there you have it!  Now that you have been duly enlightened, I can go back to eating with a light heart.  On with the celebration!  Do you suppose they make Peanut flavored Moon Cakes?  Now that would be an auspicious beginning to a fantastic year!  But whatever the Year of the Goat may bring, remember this:
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” ― Neil Gaiman
Happy Year of the Goat!!!! 


Snowcatcher said...

Okay, so I'm gonna hop right into my free-motion quilting project and make mistakes, caution to the wind, because it's better than being afraid of that big, bad sewing machine. Would much rather tangle with you, Marigold!

Marigold said...

Dear Snowcatcher,
Better me than with an Alpine. Oy.

Mrs. Micawber said...

And happy YotG to you, you studier-of-the-esoteric, artistic, romantic, sweet, darling thing you. (Also to Aragoat, Legoatlas, and Gimli son of Goatlin.)

Is there a Year of the Duck, by the way? If so, can't wait to read what you have to say about THAT. :)

Signing off now to work on my mistake skills....

Marigold said...

Dear Mrs. Micawber,
There can't be a Year of the Duck. It would be far too boring. About nothing but Quacked Corn.

Millie said...

Oh, I'm so glad you're back to blogging, but you do make me look lazy. I might have to butt my human to let me have some computer time.

Marigold said...

Dear Millie,
I wouldn't want to deter you from blogging, no indeed. However, you are not lazy. Remember this. Repeat it to yourself nightly. I'm just sayin'...

Mimi Foxmorton said...

My dear-you are greatly missed!
I think of you often!
Come to Facebook......we have peanuts!

Wishing you well!

Marigold said...

Dear Mimi,
Hey, ho! How are you? So glad to see you! Alas, Facebook is just not for me. :)
Your fine friend,